HOME | DD

Description

Listen to: This one

Shore leave. It’s everything they say it is. It’s that needed break from your duties, an opportunity for some downtime. Some marines go out drinking together, others go back to their family. Me? I prepare for the last meal. I think we all know how this is going to end.

I look at my crew, my comrades, and I see it in their eyes. They know the end is frighteningly near. I see it in your eyes. You look at me and I see the raging battle between fear and confidence in them. You believe I can win this. That I can end this war, but you’re also scared that doing so will be the death of me.

I was born into this world during the Harvest Fest on our colony. My father always used to say that my eyes caught some of the green from that summer. He was a simple man, didn’t need much in life just me, mom and Ina. He said he was the richest man in the galaxy. I believed him. Which eight year old wouldn’t?

When I look at you and Ellie I tell him: “You were right, old man.”

There are so many things I’d like to tell you, that I never took the time to say. And when the sun rises my courage will have failed me. It’s 3 am. You and Ellie are sound asleep. You have rolled over on my side, probably looking for me in your sleep and Ellie is sleeping in her cot, drooling on that vorcha blanket Jack got her. In three hours the sun will rise and in four the life I’ve come to love during my shore leave comes to an end.

I'm sorry. For what I'm about to do, but I cannot risk you and Ellie. And you’re going to curse my name, be angry -maybe even hate me- but Admiral Hackett will give this datapad to you once you’re safe on the SSV Retaliation.

For all that I am –as described by others. Brave, courageous, strong and determined. How am I to take you onboard the Normandy knowing it will most likely be the end for all of us? You know I can’t do that. I am willing to sacrifice a lot to win this war, but not you. Not Ellie. I need the two of you safe so that I have something to fight for.

When you wake up I will kiss you good morning for the last time. You’ll look at me afterwards and say: “you know those kisses will get you nothing but trouble.” And I will memorise you in that moment. The promise of a smile at the corner of your lips, that spark in your eyes that tells me I’ll never quite win with you, the prefect imperfections and the laughter that brings out the best in me, all of it. And I will remember, when I falter, who I’m fighting for, what I’m fighting for: mornings in the kitchen, two fried eggs and a coffee. Milk, no sugar.

I could write a whole speech about everything I feel for you, how you’ve changed my life and all the dreams I’ve dared to plan with you, but all that really needs to be said is that all of me, all that I am, loves you. Fully, completely and unconditionally.

I’ve lived too long, seen too much. I’ve done what I can for everyone, but I know it’s time to leave. I can feel it. It’s like a tickle at the back of my neck. The constant whispers, the dreams, the visions. They all whisper to me that my time has come. Parts of me embrace it, the parts that want to see my family again. Parts of me are scared, I don’t want leave this life. I don’t want leave you or Ellie.

But when it all ends, when I go, taking the reapers with me, I will know it was all worth it. Every heartbreak, every wound, every death, every loss. You were always worth fighting for, Ri.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drabble I wrote for this render. I like killing my Shepards off far too much...

mods: Just-Jasper , tomblover , X-N-A , MrGameboy20XX , HatOfAss , MoogleOutFitters , deexie , Melllin , KoDraCan

tools: XPS, 3DS Max, CS5

All models are belong to respective game devs. I own nothing.

For more RuRi check out: Losing What We Never Had

Description

Listen to: This one

Shore leave. It’s everything they say it is. It’s that needed break from your duties, an opportunity for some downtime. Some marines go out drinking together, others go back to their family. Me? I prepare for the last meal. I think we all know how this is going to end.

I look at my crew, my comrades, and I see it in their eyes. They know the end is frighteningly near. I see it in your eyes. You look at me and I see the raging battle between fear and confidence in them. You believe I can win this. That I can end this war, but you’re also scared that doing so will be the death of me.

I was born into this world during the Harvest Fest on our colony. My father always used to say that my eyes caught some of the green from that summer. He was a simple man, didn’t need much in life just me, mom and Ina. He said he was the richest man in the galaxy. I believed him. Which eight year old wouldn’t?

When I look at you and Ellie I tell him: “You were right, old man.”

There are so many things I’d like to tell you, that I never took the time to say. And when the sun rises my courage will have failed me. It’s 3 am. You and Ellie are sound asleep. You have rolled over on my side, probably looking for me in your sleep and Ellie is sleeping in her cot, drooling on that vorcha blanket Jack got her. In three hours the sun will rise and in four the life I’ve come to love during my shore leave comes to an end.

I'm sorry. For what I'm about to do, but I cannot risk you and Ellie. And you’re going to curse my name, be angry -maybe even hate me- but Admiral Hackett will give this datapad to you once you’re safe on the SSV Retaliation.

For all that I am –as described by others. Brave, courageous, strong and determined. How am I to take you onboard the Normandy knowing it will most likely be the end for all of us? You know I can’t do that. I am willing to sacrifice a lot to win this war, but not you. Not Ellie. I need the two of you safe so that I have something to fight for.

When you wake up I will kiss you good morning for the last time. You’ll look at me afterwards and say: “you know those kisses will get you nothing but trouble.” And I will memorise you in that moment. The promise of a smile at the corner of your lips, that spark in your eyes that tells me I’ll never quite win with you, the prefect imperfections and the laughter that brings out the best in me, all of it. And I will remember, when I falter, who I’m fighting for, what I’m fighting for: mornings in the kitchen, two fried eggs and a coffee. Milk, no sugar.

I could write a whole speech about everything I feel for you, how you’ve changed my life and all the dreams I’ve dared to plan with you, but all that really needs to be said is that all of me, all that I am, loves you. Fully, completely and unconditionally.

I’ve lived too long, seen too much. I’ve done what I can for everyone, but I know it’s time to leave. I can feel it. It’s like a tickle at the back of my neck. The constant whispers, the dreams, the visions. They all whisper to me that my time has come. Parts of me embrace it, the parts that want to see my family again. Parts of me are scared, I don’t want leave this life. I don’t want leave you or Ellie.

But when it all ends, when I go, taking the reapers with me, I will know it was all worth it. Every heartbreak, every wound, every death, every loss. You were always worth fighting for, Ri.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drabble I wrote for this render. I like killing my Shepards off far too much...

mods: Just-Jasper , tomblover , X-N-A , MrGameboy20XX , HatOfAss , MoogleOutFitters , deexie , Melllin , KoDraCan

tools: XPS, 3DS Max, CS5

All models are belong to respective game devs. I own nothing.

For more RuRi check out: Losing What We Never Had