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No 1. Cloud and Elena, 'lost'

“I can’t believe I’m lost in a theme park mirror land,” Cloud sighed, shuffling along the brightly neon lit corridor in some far of part of the Golden Saucer . “With a Turk.” He added crankily, trying not to look at the many reflections around them.

“Hey, who are you calling a Turk here?” Elena smiled and blew a very large, very pink bubble of her bubble gum. The unmistakable smell of explosives carried from it, temporarily distracting him from the nauseating and slightly claustrophobic sight of the both of them reflected into infinity.

“Could be you *please* be careful? That’s my only pair. And just because I…” Clouds grumblings were interrupted before they got very far and he was forced to focus on the Turk once more.

“Did you or didn’t you steal a Hardy-Datonya motorcycle and drove it down several flights of stairs, only to crash it through a window?”

“That wasn’t….”

“Are your closest friends a bunch of weird misfits that you really wouldn’t even trust with a houseplant but put whose hands you put your life into on a regular basis?”

“Yes, but…”

“And aren’t you on a mission to kill some guy for reasons you can barely remember due to too much liquor, too many blows to your head or just a general sense of ‘don’t go there’ in your head?”

“That’s...oddly specific and I…”

Elena turned to him and smiled.

“And which one of us is wearing a suit?”

Closing his eyes, Cloud counted to ten in his head. If there was a weird echo of another voice inside him, he ignored it.

“It is not *my* fault the restaurant had a dresscode for suits. For men. And you were the one who insisted our friends were in there and that we might as well exchange clothes since we’re pretty much the same size *and* if you have been taking photos of me in this to try to blackmail me or something, let me just tell you this isn’t the first time I have put on womens clothing and frankly, this suit is pretty comfortable. And if you get bubblegum on *my* clothes I will get really pissed.”

This time, it was Elena who was temporarily speechless. In the mirror on the wall behind her, the First Class uniform she was wearing along with the blond hair and next to her, Cloud himself in her Turk was starting to once more drift into terror as he saw himself and her, almost interchangeable in their exchanged clothes. There was a look of dissociation and self doubt in the perhaps-maybe-ex Soldier’s eye that they just couldn’t afford right now.

“You know,” Elena said, grabbing his arm, “I was wondering why you were already in lingerie. Not that I complain. But once we get out of here, I want my own bra back. Yours is too large over my back.”

“I was *not*....that is the worse lie…” Cloud sputtered, but was once more brought back to reality.

Gently bickering, the Turk led the Soldier out form the House of Mirrors. And if it was sometimes difficult to tell who was who, well. They could sort that out once they were free from the maze.

Prompt 2 Golden Chocobo and bike Fenris, bonus if the Silver Elite shows up

It was all Chocobo Joes' fault. That's what they concluded once the madness had died down, the feathers had been swept up and the members of the Silver Elite had been consoled, compensated and ushered from the Golden Saucer in various stages of grief and shock.

As Ester stood surveying the scene of the crime she had to admit she couldn't really fault Joe for trying. She shared his passion for chocobos and both their goals was to breed the ultimate racing bird but.... he really could have thought the whole thing over once or twice before trying. Or at least kept Teiho in a pen.

For years Teiho had been the pinnacle of chocobro breeding; the only black chocobo to have graced the stables in more than a decade. She was fast, bright and with excellent stamina. The only chocobo better than her would be the golden chocobo but that was a thing of legend and no one knew if they had ever really existed at all.

That was, until today, when the Silver Elite had their annual gathering at the Golden Saucer to show of their latest gifts in honour of their demi-god, gifts that would later be presented to Sephiroth in an show that to Ester always seemed to make the Silver demon distinctly uncomfortable. Usually, she didn't much bother with these shows. Usually, she was too preoccupied with her own work to care about a bunch of overzealous fans. But this year, they had really outdone themselves.

The first gift had been a Hardy Datona motorcykle; a sleek, amazing machine that somehow gave the impression of roaring down a motorway even as it stood still. It was glimmering with chrome and silver on its black coating and even Ester had to admit it looked spectacular.

And then....then they somehow produced a Gold Chocobo. Ester had all but dropped her jaw, suddenly aware that she was acting the same way around his chocobo as the fans did around Sephiroth; fawning and cooing and admiring every inch of its gold-like proportions. Parts of her were filled with joy that she had lived to see the legend come true, and parts of her were filled with pure jealousy.

However, it seemed all of Joe had been filled with a terrible idea.

He couldn't steal the bird, of course. Where would he take it? It was here, at the Golden Saucer, that he wanted it. To ride the legend.

But he could breed it. The golden was a male, and his Teiho was a female. And Joe had a Zeio nut.

So he surreptitiously fed the Golden the nut while admiring it and then hurried away to get Teiho, hoping to get the best offspring imaginable.

Unfortunately the nut kicked in faster than Joe had anticipated and while there wre no other birds around, there were something that to a horny bird's eye was equally sexy.

The Hardy Datona motorcykle.

Barging through the masses surrounding it, the Golden made for the motorcycle in a dash of golden light, jumped on the motorcykle and, well. The rest was a very messy biology lesson.

The Silver elite had screamed like banshees and tried to get the bird off the motorcykle, while the bird tried to get off on the motorcykle. It all resulted in a number of bites and kicks and golden feathers all over the room, more screams and cries and a thoroughly sullied motorbike.

It had been up to Joe and Ester to clean up the mess, including the Silver Elite, apologize and share out Golden Tickets like it was Greens, just to restore some semblance of peace. The Golden had eventually calmed down, but was too exhausted to do anything to Teiho. It simply rolled up on the floor and went to sleep, having to be carterd out on a wheelbarrow.

*Well,* Ester thought to herself as she looked out over the room. *One good thing came out of this, at least.* She was willing to be there were even fewer people in the world that had seen General sephiroth, the Silver Demon of Wutain, laugh until he cried than there were people who had seen a Golden Chocobo.

3. Reeve and Vincent, prompt 'forest' although to be honest, it's more of a jungle

“If this is another of your tricks, Tuesti…” Vincent’s growl was closer to an exasperated sigh, but he managed to keep his face stern as he glanced over at the driver seat where the spy - shinra executive - Inspire - head of WRO - the multitalented man was driving.

Reeve didn’t look like any of those things though. He was a handsome, neat man who had, beyond all reason, managed to keep an air of childish innocence and delight in the world. It gave him a charming, disarming look that Vincent had learned not to trust at all.

Now he turned towards the gunner and smiled, but there was a serious pall hanging over his brow. Whatever this was about, it was serious.

“No trick. I promise you. One of my informants….”

“Your spy.”

“...handed in some very disturbing information to me yesterday form Rufus’ office. You will understand when you see it. We’re almost there.”

Reeve stopped and parked in the middle of nowhere and let Vincent into the lush verdant jungle forest outside Junon. This was far from the normal thoroughfares unless you were a ninja princess, and Vincent’s lounges filled with clean sweet smelling air as he breathed deep. The forest wasn’t quite; there were birds and animal noises, but it was still somehow very relaxing. Parrots nested in the canopy like living jewels. Flowers the size of his hand bloomed everywhere.

“Rufus wants to clear this forest, make place for Junon to expand. He is thinking of a new airship port.” Reeve looked grim as he followed a little path deeper into the forest. “To ease trade, of course.”

“Hm.” Vincent glanced at an emerald green snake, hanging lazy from a bought.

“It would mean catastrophe, of course. I was hoping….” He cast a pleading glance at Vincent.

The gunner stopped. He stood still in the living, breathing heart of the lush jungle, breathing in all its wonder and finally crossed his arms.

“I see what you are doing, Tuesti.” He said, not looking at the inventor.

“You do? Already?” Reeve said perplexed.

“Yes. And I must apologise for thinking the worst of you.” He made a gesture with the brass claw. “This forest must of course be allowed to continue to exist. To flourish.” He nodded to himself. “I will contact Cloud and the others. Barret, most certainly. He was the one who formed the Eco terrorist group for starters. They will not be pleased to hear of ShinRas plans.”

Reeve stammered, searching for words. There was a flush on his face.

“I...that is...most generous, Vincent.”

“Not at all. Again, I apologize.” Taking a step forward, Vincent placed a shy, short kiss on the bearded cheek. “You are Avalanche to, at heart. You care about this world to.”

Embarrassed at his own unsightly display of emotions, Vincent turned on his heel and started stalking out from the wonderful jungle, leaving Reeve stunned behind with a hand over his kissed cheek.

A few times the engineer opened his mouth as if to call Vincent back, but he closed it every time. After all, Vincent had agreed to help him protect the forest, and that was the important thing, right? And if he played it right he might even get a date out of it from the elusive gunner.

Yes, Reeve thought to himself as he hurried after Vincent, carefully dropping the last foliage back in its place, hiding his own secret cat-robotic lab, complete with an almost complete, WEAPON large Cait Sith.

There really was no reason to tell him the truth, not when he was in such a good mood.

Reeve put on his best smile and rushed after Vincent. Sometimes his plans worked out better than he could have ever expected.