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EonEvolution — Twenty-four
Published: 2011-08-25 02:15:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 359; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description The sun shone bright on Equestria, despite all the snow on the ground and cold in the air. It was the last day of the year, New Year's Eve, and much like every year before, Pinkie Pie was preparing a party for her pony pals.

The pink pony gleefully bounced down the road, wearing her saddlebags and singing a song about how fun her party was going to be at Twilight Sparkle's library, the location of the night's festivities. It was the perfect location, thanks to the balcony with the perfect view of all the fireworks that would be going off; it would be easy to see the celebrations not only in Ponyville, but in Canterlot as well, and the firework display from the Equestrian capitol was always awe-inspiring.

Pinkie Pie's bouncing came to a stop just short of the library door. She raised a hoof and knocked on the door. Twilight's voice muffled on the other side in response. A minute later, the door swung open revealing the purple unicorn.

"Oh, hey Pinkie Pie!"

"Hi Twilight!" The pink earth pony invited herself into the library, still blissfully bouncing, "Ready for our party?"

"Of course, we just need to set up all your decorations and then we can round up everypony."

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" The pink pony sprang into action, pulling a seemingly endless number of party favors out of her saddlebags. "Now first I need to set up this banner in the back, then we hang streamers all over the ceiling, and can you help me blow up these balloons? Then we—whoa! What is that shiny thing?"

Pinkie Pie had bounced her way upstairs, where she'd seen something quite unlike any she'd seen before. It looked like a metal gate, standing tall in the room, almost touching the ceiling. Colored wires and buttons decorated the outside, connecting to a nearby metal box, which was decorated in a similar way.

Twilight had calmly made her way upstairs and stood next to her friend, "Oh, that's a little project I've been working on."

The pink pony was consumed by curiosity. She inched closer to the metal gate, eying it closely. "It's so shiny! What does it do?"

"Its a teleporter."

"What's a teleporter?"

The unicorn explained, "It's a magic device that can send anypony anywhere there's another one of these things. It's like a gateway between the two, a door to somewhere else. I infused it with a bit of my teleportation spell."

"Oooh," the pony was intrigued. She could go anywhere in Equestria she wanted. "Does it work?"

"Well, I don't know. I haven't tried sending anything through it yet; I don't know where the other link is, if there even is one."

"Well if its a door, then there's one way you can find out!" The pink pony raised a hoof and pounded on the metal frame. "Hello? Anypony home?"

After a moment of silence, "I don't think anyone's home," Twilight concluded nervously, hoping to re-direct the earth pony's attention.

"No, silly, they just didn't hear me." Pinkie Pie pushed her head through the gate, finding a vast dark room on the other side, separate from the library she'd just seen seconds ago. Without missing a beat, she called out, "Hello? Is there anypony in here?" Her echoing voice was the only response.

Pinkie Pie pulled her head out from the new room, finding herself staring Twilight Sparkle in the eyes back in the library; the unicorn gasped in surprise.

"Pinkie! Did you see anything?"

"Well of course not, its all dark." Pinkie Pie eagerly jumped, "You should go in an light it all up!"

The unicorn stepped to the other side of the gate next to her pink pony friend, who didn't hesitate to hop through the portal a second time. Twilight sighed anxiously and followed, finding herself emerging in a room consumed in darkness. All dark, except a windows on the floor emanating a faint light.. She cautiously approached the pink pony looking down on the windows.

"Wait a second." Twilight concentrated her magic, creating a bright light with her horn. The room illuminated, revealing a large, vacant room. The white walls were decorated similarly to the teleportation gate in Twilight's library. But the curious part was the windows in the floor, on the other side of which a planet peacefully rotated.

---

Earth.

It took a while for Twilight to take in the shock of realizing she and Pinkie Pie weren't on the planet below. She was out among the stars, the same ones she looked upon every night from her library balcony. It was breathtaking. They'd spent a few hours on the station, Twilight reveling in the technology and Pinkie Pie trotting around trying to figure out what different buttons controlled the lights.

"This is amazing!" Twilight commented, surrounded by stacks of paper with mathematical equations on them. "The station is moving against the planet's rotation at fifteen degrees per hour!" Twilight scribbled a few fresh notes, "I could stay up here all day and watch this!"

Pinkie Pie scoffed; she had initially enjoyed her time on the mysteriously vacant space station, but she was noticeably saddening over time. "But if we're up here in space, then I can't host the party in your library."

Twilight understood her friend's mood; Pinkie Pie was, after all, the party pony. The unicorn silently looked over her notes, noticing the pattern, and formed a plan to raise her friend's spirits.

She tapped a hoof on the glass, "But Pinkie, look at this! This station is moving at exactly the right speed, we'll pass over a new time zone every hour."

Pinkie Pie looked up at her unicorn friend, her confusion easy to spot.

"Which means it'll be midnight every hour. Which means--"

"I can have a new party every hour!" Pinkie Pie finished the statement.

Without any hesitation at all, the pink earth pony galloped through the teleportation gate to the planet below.

---

It was ten minutes before Pinkie Pie returned, her saddlebags packed full of decorations, balancing three pinatas on her back on top of a wooden board with a lavender pony painted on it; she carried a matching tail in her mouth.

It wasn't more than five minutes before the floor was covered in balloons and the ceiling was covered in streamers.

It didn't take long for Twilight Sparkle to emerge from the device herself, carrying Spike on her back along with a filled punch bowl. The unicorn stepped aside, "Ready to party, Pinkie Pie?"

The earth pony jumped happily, "Of course!"

"Good, because I brought some friends!" The teleporter whirled to life as Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all emerged from the teleporter. Pinkie Pie's glee was peaking; twenty-four parties in twenty-four hours. It would be a new record for the mare. And she couldn't wait to get started!

"Alright! Let's party!"
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Comments: 2

Couch-Crusader [2011-08-25 09:13:01 +0000 UTC]

Twenty-four New Year's Day parties? Dear Pinkie Pie, you are literally in heaven! I like this.

I'll begin with what I tell most people--copyedit. Little tells like an unnecessary comma or a malapropism have a big effect on how your story comes across. I'm sure you'll catch them quickly.

Secondly, fear the vague. Pinkie's singing a song? Give her some lyrics (though I appreciate you were on a time crunch here). And what manner of party favors does she pull out at the library? Bubble jars? Kazoos? Leftover candy canes from Equestrian Christmas? I don't want you to go overboard on the details, but try and be specific about the ones you do include. You do this well with Pinkie's pinatas and the pin the tail on the pony board.

Also, where did all of Twilight's papers come from? I assume she must've brought them from down below, but even then, stacks of paper seems unlikely for her notetaking, even for her.

Hope that helps a little! We appreciate you sending your work in, even if it was a little late Keep writing!

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EonEvolution In reply to Couch-Crusader [2011-08-25 16:55:56 +0000 UTC]

I see what you're saying and I wish I had found the idea a few days sooner; it could have turned out so much better.

Thanks for reading and the feedback; I'll keep it all in mind for this week. I've already got a handful of ideas.

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