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Description
when you wake up and your voice has lost its melody, that's when you know it worked. becoming human. no one can ever tell you what loss truely is - you find out for yourself, bit by bit. no one can teach you what it's like to be empty, or what to use to try to fill the void.

there's a guilt that settles into the pit of your stomache; that's how you know you did it right. grew up. left everything. or at the very least fucked it all up. it's all in feeling everything and nothing at once. ice so cold it burns. fire so hot it freezes. too much, too much, too much. destroying to build to destroy. circles of thought that collapse with the slightest breath of thinking.

goldfish drown with every breath they take. but drowning and dying are two very different things and sometimes you wish water was the worst thing that found it's way to your lungs. one morning you'll wake up somewhere you weren't expecting, and wearing a stranger's skin. you're not drunk and you're not sleepwalking.

wildflowers die and sometimes rain won't fall.

when you wake up and realize that no one actually cares about your problems because they're too busy trying to care about theirs, when you realize the world is built on people not giving a shit what other people don't give a shit about, when you realize that the road to hell is not paved with good intentions - then you're there. you're done. you've made it to a place where nothing matters and no one cares.

the sun doesn't rise because it has to; the sun rises because it doesn't know what else to do.

Description
when you wake up and your voice has lost its melody, that's when you know it worked. becoming human. no one can ever tell you what loss truely is - you find out for yourself, bit by bit. no one can teach you what it's like to be empty, or what to use to try to fill the void.

there's a guilt that settles into the pit of your stomache; that's how you know you did it right. grew up. left everything. or at the very least fucked it all up. it's all in feeling everything and nothing at once. ice so cold it burns. fire so hot it freezes. too much, too much, too much. destroying to build to destroy. circles of thought that collapse with the slightest breath of thinking.

goldfish drown with every breath they take. but drowning and dying are two very different things and sometimes you wish water was the worst thing that found it's way to your lungs. one morning you'll wake up somewhere you weren't expecting, and wearing a stranger's skin. you're not drunk and you're not sleepwalking.

wildflowers die and sometimes rain won't fall.

when you wake up and realize that no one actually cares about your problems because they're too busy trying to care about theirs, when you realize the world is built on people not giving a shit what other people don't give a shit about, when you realize that the road to hell is not paved with good intentions - then you're there. you're done. you've made it to a place where nothing matters and no one cares.

the sun doesn't rise because it has to; the sun rises because it doesn't know what else to do.