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FaeBelowDeck — Consent [NSFW]

#dc #dickgrayson #nightwing #teentitans #richardgrayson #dctarantula
Published: 2018-02-28 04:33:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 2264; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 0
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Description --Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and indecency.--
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Ooook so this is a little out of my own way, but it's something that's had my attention for months now, so i figure now's as good a time as any to go ahead and bring it up.

Some of you may be familiar with a particular DC comic series which centers around Nightwing and a voluptuous vigilante whose extreme methods were highly unappreciated by him.
After a lot of plot i don't feel like explaining, Tarantula shoots and kills one of Nightwing's villains (one who knew his identity and was targeting his loved ones), and Dick has a mental breakdown.
Wounded, he retreats to a rooftop, panicking and rather helpless, only to be pursued by Tarantula, where she forces herself onto him and has sex with him against his will.
He specifically says "don't touch me," yet she proceeds.
More disturbingly yet, she later nearly convinces him to marry her before Batman helps him come to his senses and turn her in.
The word "rape" is never used in the story, the incident is never brought up again, and Dick himself is never portrayed as a victim, or even a survivor of the assault.
Furthermore, when Dick assumes blame for his foe's death, Batman isn't shy to pour more guilt and blame onto him.

The world is changing very rapidly and as a species, we are learning more and more about the boundaries between what's right and wrong, but unfortunately the nature of consent is still very thinly studied and learned about by many people, and entire cultures.
Worst of all, a powerful double standard exists in that, according to many, women aren't capable of raping anyone, and men aren't capable of being raped.
Both of these statements are completely false, and it's important that people know that.
A confusing aspect of the male ability to be sexually assaulted is that the male body is more visibly responsive to sexual stimuli, even if he doesn't want it.
It happens to women too if not almost just as much, but with men it's easier to tell for very obvious reasons.
Many victims fear that they somehow "enjoyed it" because of that response (and yes, some victims, male and female alike will even orgasm from the stimulation), and feel as though their bodies betrayed them.
But in reality, it's simply a biological response to that type of stimulus, and one that even helps protect the body in some ways.
Sexual arousal and orgasm as a response to sexual assault does not mean that the victim enjoyed or wanted it.
Still, victims of rape have been present in comics for decades, but have scarcely been recognized for that or have had that portrayed properly.
Did you know Batman was raped?
And so was Arella (Raven's mother, and some depictions are more violent than others).
Apparently, so was Dick Grayson.

Pertaining more to the subject matter, this issue for Nightwing and Tarantula was actually written by a woman, named Devin Grayson.
I know, startlingly enough she shares the same last name as the character, but that's irrelevant.
Even so, her being a woman shouldn't make that much more of a difference, right?
Because we all expect women to know better, supposedly, only that's not the way it is.
Bottom line, everyone should know better.
No exceptions.
What makes this fascinating and even more telling of society's ignorance to the nature of sexual abuse and what defines it, is Devin Grayson herself actually is a survivor of sexual assault.
        When the comic first came out and fans threw a fit over the indecency, Devin remarked that it was a "non-consensual love scene," and not rape.
But over time, she supposedly came to see the error of her ways and made a very lengthy apology, and while i don't normally buy into apologies from famous (more or less) people, i do actually believe she learned something and felt remorse, because that scene really hurt a lot of people.
Unfortunately, it's not a mistake she can exactly fix, because the comic is out and everywhere and everybody knows about it by now.

For those who somehow don't understand this by now, "non-consenting" or "non-consensual" = there is no consent given by one or more parties.
If someone wants to have sex, and the other person says "no," or "don't touch me," or they JUST plain don't say "yes" in any way, shape or form, then they're not consenting to sex.
Male, female, young, old.
Doesn't matter.
If it's not "yes," it's NO.

I don't personally have a problem with sexual assault being brought into certain comic lore, but i definitely think creators should be ashamed of only using it as a plot device and not treating it as the true crime it is.
Characters depicted being violated are never actually shown dealing with it or overcoming it, which is pitiful and offensive to victims of sexual abuse especially.
Rape is something people in general prefer not to talk about, and i myself tend not to bring it up because victims in particular don't always want to talk about it, and for good reason.
However, it's certainly not a topic anyone should be ashamed of unless they choose not to portray or recognize it properly, and it should never just be swept under the rug.
The rise of the Me Too movement with women (and even men) coming forward about sexual abuse in the work place is something i was actually elated to see because it's proof to me that humans are actually learning something, and are moving out of the state of "hold it in or you're a pansy."
We still have a lot of learning to do, though.
We aren't perfect, but we're capable of learning and growing as both individuals, and as a network of kindred the world over who deal with the same plights day in and day out.
Empathy is something we ought to have more of, and ignorance needs to be turned into understanding.
If one is to make a character who's experienced sexual abuse, having them deal with it and have it recognized within their setting and stories makes them relatable, and much better represents the true trial and error of dealing with the event.
This doesn't mean the subject matter has to take up THE ENTIRE plot, but anything's better than just pretending it didn't happen or wasn't important.


        I think everyone knows by now that Dick Grayson is my favorite character in DC, and seeing this broke my heart.
Eerily enough, Tarantula was very gentle and passionate and tried to be seductive, and as the illustration above dictates, this manner of sexual abuse was somewhat glorified or made to look attractive.
It looks extremely erotic if you don't know what's going on, which is...well...this next part is a little tricky for me to explain.
Rape isn't always a violent thing.
Male or female can be gentle, seductive, try to make the victim believe they want it, and when it's over even treat them like kings or queens and praise them for allowing themselves to be playthings for their abusers.
To have a rape portrayed happening this way isn't something i frown on particularly -- it's that it wasn't handled the right way or even recognized in-comic as a rape.
Not all sexual assault is someone storming up, ripping clothes off, violently taking advantage of their victim and throwing them away or using other violence.
It can be very subtle, which is just as bad.
And in fact, another way rape is shown in comics is with characters being hypnotized or deceived by shape shifters who pretend to be their lovers.
No, that's not okay, either.
The victim consented to make love to their partner, not to the person pretending to be them.
Unfortunately, this still isn't handled properly.
When it comes to sexual abuse of any kind, it shouldn't ever be handled lightly or brushed aside.

---


This may seem like a bad time and place to do this, but i do in fact, wish to present a small head cannon involving Dick Grayson and Tarantula and what goes on in my head.
Later on when Dick becomes Nightwing, he and the others do meet Tarantula, who fancies the ex-Boy Wonder.
Raven is constantly suspicious of her and they do yes, later learn she's a criminal.
When Tarantula finally gets a minute alone with Nightwing, she tries to convince him to be intimate with her in some form or another, to which he repeatedly refuses.
While trying to work, she will grope him between his legs, to which he will respond by pinning her against a wall, angrily telling her "I said, no," and then letting go of her and leaving.
He tells Raven (and Raven gets so pissed the room almost catches on fire).
Tarantula bails before Raven can say or do anything, and later she is found guilty of killing criminals she had no business interacting with, and is caught and put in prison.

So yes, to some affect, she still is inappropriate with Nightwing, but i'm keeping it brief and obviously had Nw mentally stable and physically healthy, and more than able to stop her and make his message more clear.
My reasoning for keeping this is as, first and foremost, a lesson about consent and what it means.
Secondly, it's a portrayal of a character who is ignorant, and seemingly unaware that her actions were indecent, as a woman who most likely (sadly) believes women are incapable of sexually victimizing other people, let alone males.
Nightwing ends up being okay, but no less upset about the fact that it happened.
Not to mention, being as affectionate and loyal as he is, he will feel guilty, to which Raven will insist he has nothing to be guilty for.
She won't see him as having done anything wrong or having "cheated" on her somehow, and will even be wise enough to see that Tarantula has some "growing up" to do.

No, i'm not gonna write around this, and after this moment i may never touch on it again.
As of this moment i can just say i finally went public with the idea and am letting fellow fans know what i think, how i feel, and that it is important and is dealt with even though it isn't a full-fledged rape or more serious assault.
All sexual abuse is wrong.
In middle school, a boy put his hand on my upper thigh and jokingly sweet talked to me (he was one of my bullies) and it scared the fucking shit out of me.
My teacher didn't address it.
Obviously i'm fine, it's not a big deal to me but i at least understand the feeling of inappropriate contact and feel i understand how to apply it.
It doesn't give me any sort of privilege, i don't regard myself as some sort of "survivor."
All i'm saying is i understand, at least a tiny sliver of anxiety with unwanted contact, and to me upper thigh is intimate.
It's not something i take lightly, ever.
I don't think it's funny.
I don't think it's unimportant.
Sex isn't just some social construct dictated by emotions; it's a complex, psychological, emotional thing period and one of the most delicate parts of being human.
Abusing it is one of the utmost horrible things a person can do.



        I hope this was eye-opening or even a little helpful to someone.
Sorry it's so deep and such sensitive subject matter, but i really felt the need to bring it up and toss in my twohundred cents.
Thank you for reading if you did, let me know what you think.
Stay safe, and stay happy.





---DO NOT STEAL MY STUFF!!! I DO NOT OWN DC OR THE ORIGINAL IMAGE!!!---
Related content
Comments: 15

UniverseDragon [2018-03-04 23:26:43 +0000 UTC]

Yes to all of this. The fact that women in north america and the first world still think they are oppressed is both hilarious and irritating to me. Individuals are still sexist to women in the first world, yes, but it isn't the same as in, say, India. I actually can't look at a first world woman and see her as oppressed. But I can easily see men as oppressed. Society is just so against them when it comes to assault, both sexual and otherwise. It makes me sick. It makes me sick knowing other women think they can take advantage of a man just because they "can't rape" and know if he tries to defend himself or call the cops, he will be the one taken away. I love my boyfriend so much, I would die for him. I would suffer for him. Knowing there are women out there who would be okay with attacking him, because society is biased towards women, makes me so livid.

Have you watched the documentary The Red Pill? My bf and I watched it, and we both cried multiple times. Seeing what males are put through in the first world is depressing. I pray it changes within the next decade. I have a niece and nephew, and of the two of them I am more scared for my nephew in regards to what society thinks of them and what people can do to them. People would be up in arms if a man attacked my niece sexually. But if my nephew was sexually assaulted by a woman, plenty of people wouldn't care, or at least wouldn't care enough.

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FaeBelowDeck In reply to UniverseDragon [2018-03-07 21:47:37 +0000 UTC]

Right??
Granted women still face a lot of hardships on a personal level, but so much in the first world has changed for us it makes feminazism just fucking ridiculous.
Good for you, i don't doubt you and your boi have a good relationship and i'm sure he'd do the same for you.
And i hate people saying ALL MEN are rapists, it's retarded.

No i haven't, i think imma check that out.
Men and boys definitely do not get the help they need/deserve whenever sexual abuse and such happens, it's dreadful.
I don't think the majority of male society feel safe in coming out about being abused, and honestly most females are still learning, too.
It's very unfortunate.

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EpsiloNaturion [2018-03-03 03:36:04 +0000 UTC]

This is so important. I can't believe there are still people who believe that men can't be raped. Yes, your body can betray your will, it's a simple reaction to stimuli, nothing more. Thank you so much for posting this.

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FaeBelowDeck In reply to EpsiloNaturion [2018-03-07 21:44:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank YOU so much for reading and commenting, and for being so aware.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EpsiloNaturion In reply to FaeBelowDeck [2018-03-08 05:22:54 +0000 UTC]

It's an important dialogue to have! I honestly am afraid to speak up when we talk about these topics in school; I come from a department of progressive theatre nerds, we tend to discuss these kinds of things a lot. I feel as if I shift the conversation to "you know men can be treated this way as well," I'll immediately receive backlash for making it about me.

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FaeBelowDeck In reply to EpsiloNaturion [2018-03-08 19:56:00 +0000 UTC]

Ugh i can see that though, it really depends on the crowd you're in when it's discussed because SO MANY people act like it just can't happen.
It's so ridiculous.
Glad you're sensible and actually understand >:"U

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ghffff [2018-02-28 23:02:53 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I remember this. Yet more people are shocked when women are portrayed as sexy in comics than about a man getting raped.

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FaeBelowDeck In reply to ghffff [2018-03-02 05:41:39 +0000 UTC]

Lmao right though.
Sad

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ghffff In reply to FaeBelowDeck [2018-03-02 16:41:40 +0000 UTC]

Somehow I think some women would say she deserves it.

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oboeshoes16 [2018-02-28 22:53:23 +0000 UTC]

Oh shit, this.
You did a great job handling this.

I hate it when rape scenes are used for cheap shock value.
Consensual sex should be a supreme act of love between two characters (or more, I'm not judging).
(That was my one beef with James Bond - he never cared about the women he slept with.)

On the other hand, rape is all about control and power- one vile person showing another that he/she has absolute control of another at that moment in time.
And the psychological scars will always let the rapist have some type of power over the victim.
So if you're gonna do a rape scene, it should be done to convey that.

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FaeBelowDeck In reply to oboeshoes16 [2018-03-02 05:44:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much, i really appreciate it.

More than agreed, sex is such a special thing.
Even having never been intimate with another person, i recognize its core values in the soul and the mind, and what it should be for.

Yes, and unfortunately female rapists are often seen as sex symbols or icons of feminine power, which is horrifying.
No one, NO ONE should be seen as a positive icon in any way with raping someone.
In this case, rape just wasn't handled at all..

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FeatherFilterwand [2018-02-28 09:53:17 +0000 UTC]

If they ever bring this up in the comics again I do hope that they would change the context. Dick Grayson would get the Teen Titans and Batman’s support and saying how it wasn’t his fault. Starfire still loving him and understanding he didn’t really consent. Basically providing a role model for young boys who were victims themselves and being inspired by one of DC comic’s greatest heroes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FaeBelowDeck In reply to FeatherFilterwand [2018-03-02 05:41:24 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gosh, right?
It could've been so inspiring, but instead it just plain came out pitiful.
Batman should've been better too, for sure and i like the idea of Star and them being by his side. <3
Thank you for reading and for your input!

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Ash-NavofDreams [2018-02-28 06:27:54 +0000 UTC]

Another form of sexual assault that people don’t seem to really touch on or acknowledge is “verbal assault.” Men AND WOMAN can say things and make a person feel very uncomfortable and even slightly violated. As you know I have been there and judging on how that experience made me feel I personally believe that “verbal assault” sexual or otherwise can be a very scary thing. As always you have the most enlightened way of looking at this sort of subject and I applaud your bravery. Good on ya girl!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FaeBelowDeck In reply to Ash-NavofDreams [2018-03-02 05:40:34 +0000 UTC]

For sharing your experience, i am most humbled.
Thank you for sharing and for the input, it's very helpful :")
And thank you so much!

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