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~For the life we never had~
Time stopped in that moment, your brain was trying to process whatever was happening, this morning you woke up as any other thinking about that mysterious man but now he was right here, hugging you, in the middle of the classroom.

-What the fuck! –You pushed him away maybe too hard, making him crash with a desk nearby he had to put his hand on it to prevent falling onto the floor; he looked at you astonished by the sudden reaction. –What the fuck are you talking about? How do you even know my name? –Words started to come out meaner and louder than you intended them to be, air was getting thicker and blood seemed to burn in your veins and arteries.

-(Y/N) amore it’s me, please don’t tell me you forgot… -His eyes were melting with sorrow as he tried to get slowly closer. –Bella you don’t know how many centuries I’ve…

-Shut the fuck up! Are you a stalker or something? Get away from me! I don’t even know you! –You cut him dry, his face became like the one of a child that was just scolded by his mother, you felt guilty and pain stabbed your chest, you couldn’t take it and walked out, ran better said, leaving him there only with your words echoing in the empty room, you ran directly to the girls bathroom and locked yourself in a cabin, your things falling on one side of the toilet as you sat on it with your face on your palms, trying to stabilize your beating and breathing, your dreamed man appeared in front of you and the only thing you did was shout and insult him, a really bad first impression but that only gave you the ultimate proof, it really was him, flesh and bone, and it didn’t even matter how much time passed he still…

-(Y/N) are you there? –Knocks on the door of the cabin made you leave the thinking. -(Y/N)? –she inquired again due the lack of response.

-Yes yes I’m here sorry! –You exclaimed nervously and then went out finding her with a very angry look. –What? –You said as normal as ever.

-Well for instance class started 15 minutes ago and due that you are my partner the teacher sent me after you… -She stopped and went to the sink to wash her hands. –and two, today was the dissection and WE are the only ones who doesn’t have a specimen to dissect! –She shouted, crap, you forgot it was your turn to bring the specimen; you had been so busy with all this crazy stuff that you forgot completely about it.

-Fuck… (F/N) I’m sorry babe I forgot… shit… -You apologized and rushed your hands across your face and hair. –Oh my god it’s all my fault, Jesus I will talk to the teacher and assure it doesn’t affect you ok? Holy crap I’m sorry… -The last thing you wanted was to be mad at your best friend for your irresponsibility right now.

-Look dude don’t worry, we will ask her for a project, exposition or something to compensate it, calm down, I don’t want you to have an asthma attack for the stress. –She hugged you and patted your back, it’s been years since you had an attack but well when you got stressed it was easily to have one.

-You sure? –You asked her with puppy eyes, she nodded smiling.

-But anyway since we are not gonna do anything in the class, tell me… -She made herself comfortable and sat on the space in between the sinks. –Why were you hiding in here? You only come to the bathrooms when something bad happens. –She talked and lifted her phone searching for a net to connect.

-Well… -You sat on the floor and leaned your back against the wall behind. –The new guy and I were the only ones in the class at the end… -Your friend turned to face you with a very interested look. –And he hugged me and told me “I found you, I found you at last” and I freaked out, he knows my name, and I shouted him and I think he hates me know… (F/N) My imaginary boyfriend came to life and I shouted him! What the fuck am I supposed to do now? –you talked so fast that you left (F/N) with a perplexed expression in her face.

-Well that explains why he was so depressed when he entered the class. –She finally said and sighed you felt how a dagger of pain stabbed your heart again, now you made him feel sad, really good job.

-he was? –You close your eyes and made a pained grin, how are you going to look him in the face now?

-yeah you bet he was, all the girls tried to comfort him and well, they did a very good job. – Your eyes flew open and slowly turned your head, almost like the girl of the movie “the exorcist”, and looked her right in the eye, you didn’t know why but a small flame of anger rose on your body.

-What do you mean by “comfort” him? –You made emphasis in comfort and waited for her to answer, she was a little bit doubtful about talking. – (F/N)… -You demanded and made her sigh.

-Well you know they hugged him and talked to him and maybe Catherina invited him to his house tonight… -She said the last part changing the volume of her voice almost to a whisper, Catherina wood, it didn’t surprise you though, she was very known for her “friendships” with the boys and teachers, she never did anything in all the year but mysteriously passed with A’s and B’s, maybe the extra classes helped her a little.

-Fan-fucking-tastic. –You exclaimed moving your hands with every word, she never wasted an opportunity with a pretty boy, but the problem here was that HE WAS YOUR BOY.

-Hey why do you even complain, you basically broke up with him remember? –she was doing that annoying tone again, you hated to admit it but she was right, you basically did so but… Catherina was fucking Catherina, you have hated her since first grade, always going around doing nothing and then she gets all the congrats on everything.

-I will apologize before going home. –You said with a steady tone and made pots with your lips, your pride wasn’t worth it enough to let go an opportunity to talk to a man that basically is hundreds years old and most important, that he was interested in you. –let’s go back to class or Miss Murray will report us. –You finally said and stood up from the floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The day passed slower than ever, not even the last day of school was that slow, you could hear the clocks made their tic-tac’s all day long, you attended to math, physics and literature before recess, in each class you could feel Ezio’s gaze on you, you tried to avoid it and made as if was nothing but you encountered his eyes once or twice and it was completely awkward.

- (F/N) dude I can’t do this anymore, I want to kill myself, he doesn’t stop looking at me! –You and (F/N) were sitting in one of the tables of the cafeteria eating; Ezio and half of the school were sitting a few meters away from you.

-Then why don’t you go and talk to him? Apologize and problem solved! –she was moving her hands around while saying this, very calmly as if it wasn’t a really big deal.

-I said at the end of the day, I’m panicking I can’t just interrupt and say hey sorry about that, I thought you were only a dream! –You mocked nervously and looked at his direction, your eyes met but you looked away. –Fuck! –You cried and looked at (F/N) again.

-What is the fucking difference?! You are going to tell him either way so get your ass outa here and walk because if you don’t I will make you! –She spoke calmly at first but as the sentence went she raised her voice and made it sound as a scold. You moved your legs nervously while fighting internally with yourself.

-Alright fuck everything then! –You said and stood up firmly mentalizing yourself that everything was going to be just fine but as you walked towards him you realized that it wasn’t, you panicked and tried to turn back but it was too late, you were in the middle of everyone, just in front of Ezio and they were all waiting for you to do something.

-What do you want? –Catherina said, she was clinging on Ezio’s arm, that made you feel jealousy, but not a normal one, the kind of jealousy that can kill stupid people.

-Nothing from you. –You hissed sarcastically and heard how everyone was gossiping and even you could hear a girl saying “burn” in a very low voice, the face of Catherina twited in disgust and rolled her eyes, oh sweet victory. –Ezio can I talk to you? –You could see how Ezio’s face glowed in excitement, blood started to accumulate in your cheeks.

-Si, of course. –He shook softly his arm making Catherina let go off him, everyone was perplexed by the sudden interest of Ezio in you, walking away you lead him to the lockers, where anybody could be seen during the recess. You double checked that anybody was around and taking a deep breath you talked.

-Listen I’m sorry for what I said before… I do remember… or at least I think I do… It’s complicated, I know that I know you but I don’t know if I really KNOW you, get it? –not even you knew what you just said, Ezio’s face was blank and he started to blink fast with his mouth half open, in that moment you wished you could kiss that mouth. –I need to talk to you in a more private place and I need to ask you a lot of shit… so why don’t you come to my house? –Wow that wasn’t part of the plan, fuck. Ezio looked at you for a second and a smile appeared on his face.

-For you amore whatever you want but… -He looked back. –I was supposed to go to Catherina’s…

-Listen if you go, you are going to get laid and if you get laid we are done. –You exclaimed firmly, he wasn’t even your boyfriend, well maybe he was, but at least the trick worked Ezio looked surprised and you even could say intimidated by your attitude, he nodded and didn’t stop saying “Va bene” now that you were checking on him, maybe those strange words he said in the dream were in Italian, since he sounded like one.

Both of you kept talking for a while but without noticing the recess was already over and since you two were in the same class he walked with you to it, it was history, sadly you had to sit far away from him but that didn’t stop you from sharing looks and smiles from time to time.

When classes ended Ezio and (F/N) were waiting for you at the end, the room was deserted already.

-So Ezio… you finally found your ancient lover? – (F/N) said in a mocking tone to broke the silence; Ezio looked nervously at you and then back at her.

-Emmm… sorry bella but what are you talking about? –You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

-She knows Ezio, I’ve told her everything. –Ezio looked at (F/N) and she had a really big smile on her face, he sighed and smirked a little.

-Well in that case, I believe I did but I don’t know if I found the correct one… -You perceived a pinch of helplessness on his voice.

-Alright (F/N) Ezio and I will be going, see you tomorrow. –You choked and grabbed Ezio from the arm leading him to the door, you could hear your friend shouting but decided to ignore her and escape.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The walk home was submerged in an awkward silence, Ezio tried to hold your hand in a failed attempt to make things better but it only made everything weirder and when you felt him too close to you, you had to remind him about personal space. Luckily your parents were working, as always, so the house was empty and you didn’t need to give explanations to anyone but then it hit you, the house was empty, so anything could happen, you shook your head to scare away any dirty or inappropriate thought.

-Let’s go upstairs to my room. –You closed the door behind both of you and started walking, Ezio behind you, footsteps echoed in the house and then the click of your room’s door opening and closing, you tossed your things to the floor and when you gave your back at Ezio he hugged you from behind, it made you feel chills and with some extra effort you pushed him away.

-Nothing of physical contact until I’m done with asking. –You lifted your index finger and looked him in a very threatening way, his expression changed slightly from relaxed to serious; he got the message very clearly. –Now sit. –You pointed to the chair in front of your PC, he did what was told while you took off your shoes and sat on the edge of your bed.

-Ok let’s start with the basic information, what is your name? How old are you and where are you from? –You said calmly and waited for his answer.

-My name is Ezio Auditore, I’m 19 years old and I’m from here, New York. –He didn’t hesitate in any word but the last part made you wonder.

-If you are from here then why do you know how to speak Italian? –You inquired.

-I always try to not forget my roots. –He smiled kindly and winked, your heart flipped a little.

-Mmmm… ok and why your name is the same, you know, you are American but your name sounds quite foreign. –You were sure he didn’t have back up for that.

-Well my current parents named me Ethan cooper but I changed it, I always do it because I thought maybe in that way it would be easier to you to recognize me. –You felt a dagger of guilt stabbing you right in the head, but it confused you.

-What do you mean with current parents? –You asked concerned.

-Well my real parents are dead, the first ones. –You could see how his face shadowed with sadness, you touched a mine, maybe it was better to change the subject.

-Ok… let’s move on then, how do you even remember me? –This was the moment of truth; you watched him and waited for his response.

-You were always the last thought I had before dying and my first one when I was born, you were always there in my past lives, I just couldn’t forget you. –He said in a kind low voice, an inexplicable feeling was entering your system, you had felt it before, a long time ago, but right now it felt new, like the first time.

-How many times have you… -You stop for a second and looked for another word to say that wasn’t that one but it was pointless. –Reincarnated?

-At least three or four times.-he frowned a little before answering; you were surprised by the quantity.

-Do you remember all of them? –You asked and he nodded slowly. –Did you married or had children? –You gulped a little; the answer was obvious but you needed to know.

-No I didn’t, in fact only in one I get to die by old age, in the others I kept the habit of becoming an assassin and well I never passed my 50’s – You blinked a few times trying to assimilate the answer.

-A what? –You mumbled, he laughed a little and closed his eyes for a second.

-Sorry I suppose you don’t remember that. –He stopped a few seconds and tried to organize everything in his mind to make it sound as sane as possible –You and I were assassins, we worked together, I met you when you were still in training, we went on a mission and I thought I had killed all the enemies but one of them tried to attack me… -You could see how his eyes darkened and the tone of his voice was strange, it sounded like he was in pain. –But you took it for me… -He shut dryly, you felt as if someone stabbed you right in the throat and chest, the uncontrollably urge to hug him possessed you.

-I’m sorry I didn’t want to make you remember that. –You apologized looking for his gaze.

-It’s ok, don’t apologize bella. – He looked at you and smiled you did the same but the feeling of sadness remained.

-And why did you keep looking… - you broke the gloomy silence that had formed, He looked puzzled at you. –I mean why didn’t you just give up when you couldn’t find me at first? –If everything he had said was true then he really loved you and maybe still does.

-Because I wanted to have the life I never had back then with you, that was the only thing that kept me going. –happiness tried to escape through your eyes, was this even happening? This was just too good and touching to even be real.

-You really know how to make a girl want to cry of happiness. –You covered your eyes while saying this, tears were starting to pour out but you wiped them until they stopped, your eyes were burning with tears trying to go out. –But how did you even know where to find me? How did you know I lived in this country or I attended to that school? –You asked.

-I didn’t know it was a coincidence and I’m very grateful for it; maybe life is capricious as people say. –He answered while smiling. Sometimes real life really was stranger than any crazy fiction.

-Well I’m done with asking, do you want to know something? –You asked curiously and watched him rub the back of his neck.

-Actually yes. –You nodded and leaned forward a little. –What did you mean with you think you know me? –Your widened your eyes, how were you supposed to answer that if you weren’t even sure of it.

-Well let’s say that I have seen you in dreams but I don’t know if they actual memories or just dreams. –You paused for a while. –I know that the dream about my death was real for what you just told me but I had dreamed about other things.

-tell me one. –He spoke and removed in his seat.

-Well there was this one where you took me to the carnival in I think it was Venice and… -You felt your face burn. –kissed me for the first time. –You could see Ezio smiling nostalgically.

-Yes I remember it, looks like you do remember our times together. –you laughed inevitably, that happened literally a lifetime ago, better said lifetimes, but he still remembered, like it happened just yesterday, no matter where you tried to think it through he was the same, you felt he was still that man from your dream.

-I feel bad for not remembering you, you know, you have passed all those years looking for me and when you finally find me I shout you and call you stalker –you felt so dumb for doing that but it looked like Ezio didn’t mind it at all. –What I’m trying to say is that it was so sudden and well I’ve never had somebody that cared about me so much in a romantic or sentimental way and well I’m not sure if I do love you, I mean I appreciate you a lot, I like you but I don’t know if I really love you… -You muttered the last part, your heart was trying to jump out of your chest or at least that was the impression it gave you.

-Hey I waited centuries to find you, I can wait a few more. –You smiled. –I just want you to give me the chance to compensate all this time. – He stood up from the chair and sat beside you, the fingers of his hand interlocked with yours, his brown eyes looking deep into your (E/C) ones, you nodded slightly, you were sure your face was redder than crimson. Maybe when we die we are erased from earth but that doesn’t mean that we are erased from life, at least not all the time.