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fieldsofjoy — anything to anyone
Published: 2011-03-17 00:40:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 1230; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 40
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and so i dont ever know ifi mean anything to anyone
or even anything to myself
maybe
but it never really matters, does it?
the stars run through me
and the answers dont come
in the form of anything
or seem to but dont really
its hard to see anyone else
from where im standing
i dont even see myself most of the time
so i am blind
not that any of us are all that fuckin great
to look at in the first place
we all run together in muddy water
unable to tell the particles apart
i could be screaming the same blood you are
but you wouldnt see it
im still wrapped up
in different versions of you
unable to escape, cut the habit,
get my own shit straight
you come along every couple of years
only wearing a different face
and i think its different
only it never is and never will be
ill be left like the rest of us
to die alone
left with this feeling of emptiness
only i cant remember what it is i lost
because i lost it so long ago
i cant even remember you correctly
i wonder sometimes who would go to my funeral
if i had one
because its hard to tell who really gives a shit
i wonder how many people would be full of regret
because i sure as hell know i am
death is the one thing that brings us all together
ironic, right?
dont fucking know what we have until its gone
and i want to be so full of everyone and everything
i end up empty instead
theres just not enough of me
to give to everyone and i give too much to too few
it fucks me up when they decide not to love me anymore
or just cant anymore
its a fire that consumes me
until there is nothing left and
im deathless and crying on the bathroom floor
or turned into a zombie that just cant fucking function
or know how to
and every little thing seems so insurmountable
that i hope the cancer will just take me away
so i can stop worrying and stop feeling
about everyone and everything and for once
they can all feel for me and bleed rocks for me
cause that's the way it fuckin works
always
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Comments: 3
Great poem... very raw, very real, and something that I very much relate to... but I think you'll find that you mean a great deal to more people than you probably realize.
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you come along every couple of years
only wearing a different face
and i think its different
only it never is and never will be
and i give too much to too few
^^ you are SO correct. so.
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