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flamemc — Eggshell Steps
Published: 2003-10-14 14:35:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 104; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 19
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Description
I'm on a roll.Yeah I know I'm obsessed with the font, but I like it and until I find something better I'm stuck with it. Again a poem written earlier this year. Random pics mucked about with and added to the fray, (not deviantart pics though).
N
This frustration fed insomnia
scatters my senses like gulls
foraging for scraps of slumber.
Tonight’s motion picture idealism
and cola, sugar-caffeine high
only add to the melee.
Yes, I fixed my eyes on the screen,
and plunged my hands in the popcorn.
Though not out of interest or hunger
but to keep them from yours.
As the romantic comedy played out
and, as usual, the guy got the girl
they held hands, kissed, touched.
I made believe it was us, and now,
I cannot stop the dream to sleep.
I’m so tired.
Tired of taking these eggshell steps.
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Comments: 9
N
This frustration[-]fed insomnia
scatters my senses like gulls
foraging for scraps of slumber.
--nice image
Tonight’s motion picture idealism
and cola, sugar-caffeine high
only add to the melee.
--extends the metaphor well
Yes, I fixed my eyes on the screen,
and plunged my hands in the popcorn.
[Though] not out of interest or hunger
--maybe omitt this word
but to keep them from yours. --real feeling moment
As the romantic comedy played out
and, as usual, the guy got the girl
they held hands, kissed, touched.
I made believe it was us, and now,
I cannot stop the dream to sleep.
--great line
I’m so tired. --hmmm, don't like this
Tired of taking these eggshell steps.
--great ending
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Thanks for the suggestions and positive comments, they are appreciated and duly noted. (Perhaps you could do the same with my next piece, it's causing me pain!).
N
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this is my favorite of yours so far. it's marvelous.
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i love it.
you feel so strongly about such everyday things and it makes me think more about them...
so caught up in mundane..
and i want that font.
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Hey Jazz, I intend to submit this as plain poetry sooner or later, thanks for the positive comment.
The font is called Violation, google it, type in the name and hey presto.
N
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---and plunged my hands in the popcorn.
Though not out of interest or hunger
but to keep them from yours. ---
Hm. Couldn't have been put better. I'll have to remember that tactic.
Your poems have a very sardonic edge to them, half-buried.
I'll have to keep an eye on you(r poems).
And thanks for the comment on my -fade out again-
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-s- great words as always....
and I love that font
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Gracias Acidic.
Thanks for commenting.
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