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Published: 2007-10-24 23:05:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 80; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description
Apon the ground I see a plain,Apon the plain some grass.
In the grass I see a rose.
Made not of petal but glass.
In the rose I see much sorrow
A million parts per leaf
But in the sorrow I see you eyes
And a smile of great relief.
In your eyes a see a flame
Burning deep within
In the flame I see a petal
So innocent and so thin.
In the petal I see a plain
Covered in grass and such.
In the grass I see a rose
That I missed so much.
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Comments: 5
lordmetaknight [2007-10-26 19:53:19 +0000 UTC]
Good, but "apon" should be "upon" and the "you" in the line "But in the sorrow I see you eyes" should be "your" Sorry, I'm a little over the top about grammar and stuff...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fuzzy-Pops In reply to lordmetaknight [2007-10-26 23:13:31 +0000 UTC]
I wrote it at night...and just posted it...I was sleepy. I'm going to go fix it now.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lordmetaknight In reply to Fuzzy-Pops [2007-10-27 21:04:40 +0000 UTC]
x3 Okay, I understand. Just trying to help, that's all.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Fuzzy-Pops In reply to cookie-monster-rox [2007-10-24 23:26:04 +0000 UTC]
Thanks.
I love the rain.
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