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Description
Jk jk I’m getting hrt. Starting on 12/26/2022 :]

gonna get a little sappy real quick

im so happy, like I start stiming I’m so happy. I think about it and I’m just happy, the needle part isn’t even scaring me anymore, because little Fynnegan fact I’m a little scared of needles. But that’s okay, I’m getting better. I’m just so happy for myself. Because I didn’t think I was gonna make it. I didn’t think I’d make it to 18 but here I am. I was maybe 8, and I started to feel uncomfortable as a girl, I also found out about the concept of suicide. And in my head I just went “yeah that seems right” I figured I’d be dead before I was 18 and it would be because I did it. There was just “something wrong” and I didn’t understand yet. Course, looking back at it, i very obviously developed depression when I was in kindergarten, and I started to strongly experience gender dysphoria around 8-10 ish. Around 10 maybe, I learned what trans people were. But the way it was explained to me was “a boy who thinks he’s a girl” and vise versa. So I just kinda went on with life because I didn’t care yet. But I did want to “dress up” as a boy. I was introduced to drag by the famous “try guys try drag” which I was absolutely obsessed with. Later when I was 13 and started watching drag race I thought “oh yeah I wanna try drag and dress up like a girl….” Then I’d just kinda stop because I was supposed to be a drag king. But that wasn’t right. I finally asked myself. Is this normal? Is all the back and forth normal, the doubt the discomfort, the unexplainable hatred of being called “miss” “young lady” “ma’am” “she/her” “girl” I just couldn’t explain why those words made me so angry. Till I asked my friends not to use them. And it started feeling right. I tried coming out when I was late 13 early 14 and no one around me Irl really knew what it was. So I gave up. When I was 15, I decided enough was enough and that I was trans. And you have to call me by he/him pronouns. I slowly got all my friends to come around. Eventually came out to my immediate and extended family. Said fuck the church because fun fact I stopped being Christian officially when I was late 15 early 16. Weird right? Also another dark fact, I used to pray to god that he would kill me in my sleep because killing myself was a sin which dear god that’s so hard to think about now and I just wanna go back and hug younger me, and tell him he’s medicated now HAHFSG

Description
Jk jk I’m getting hrt. Starting on 12/26/2022 :]

gonna get a little sappy real quick

im so happy, like I start stiming I’m so happy. I think about it and I’m just happy, the needle part isn’t even scaring me anymore, because little Fynnegan fact I’m a little scared of needles. But that’s okay, I’m getting better. I’m just so happy for myself. Because I didn’t think I was gonna make it. I didn’t think I’d make it to 18 but here I am. I was maybe 8, and I started to feel uncomfortable as a girl, I also found out about the concept of suicide. And in my head I just went “yeah that seems right” I figured I’d be dead before I was 18 and it would be because I did it. There was just “something wrong” and I didn’t understand yet. Course, looking back at it, i very obviously developed depression when I was in kindergarten, and I started to strongly experience gender dysphoria around 8-10 ish. Around 10 maybe, I learned what trans people were. But the way it was explained to me was “a boy who thinks he’s a girl” and vise versa. So I just kinda went on with life because I didn’t care yet. But I did want to “dress up” as a boy. I was introduced to drag by the famous “try guys try drag” which I was absolutely obsessed with. Later when I was 13 and started watching drag race I thought “oh yeah I wanna try drag and dress up like a girl….” Then I’d just kinda stop because I was supposed to be a drag king. But that wasn’t right. I finally asked myself. Is this normal? Is all the back and forth normal, the doubt the discomfort, the unexplainable hatred of being called “miss” “young lady” “ma’am” “she/her” “girl” I just couldn’t explain why those words made me so angry. Till I asked my friends not to use them. And it started feeling right. I tried coming out when I was late 13 early 14 and no one around me Irl really knew what it was. So I gave up. When I was 15, I decided enough was enough and that I was trans. And you have to call me by he/him pronouns. I slowly got all my friends to come around. Eventually came out to my immediate and extended family. Said fuck the church because fun fact I stopped being Christian officially when I was late 15 early 16. Weird right? Also another dark fact, I used to pray to god that he would kill me in my sleep because killing myself was a sin which dear god that’s so hard to think about now and I just wanna go back and hug younger me, and tell him he’s medicated now HAHFSG