Geetas-Comics In reply to Reflective-Sentinal [2012-09-05 14:31:17 +0000 UTC]

It would also be helpful to me if you could tell me your thoughts/impressions

of the historic information I wrote about the place and the characters?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Reflective-Sentinal In reply to Geetas-Comics [2012-09-05 14:56:55 +0000 UTC]

hmm. I will take a shot at that today.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Geetas-Comics In reply to Reflective-Sentinal [2012-09-05 15:04:33 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Reflective-Sentinal In reply to Geetas-Comics [2012-09-06 07:42:17 +0000 UTC]

1st regarding the history, you have in your details that you are in the united states. From your writing, it felt that you were relying on the reader having an understanding of the politics of the united states in 2 periods (settlement and currentish eras), at least generaly. Being in Canada, the racial and social tensions run differently through the web of society and history, giving me a bit of a differnt context.


History of Genoa.

In history in my part of the world, there is a tenency to be very much in favor of imigration of people that look like me (not me specificly, but generic european) which leads to much discrimination against Chinese, Japanesem West and East Indians. 2 excelent examples of this are [link] (as I understand the incident, they were well within thier rights as promised to them by the british crown to settle anywhere in the British comon wealth as a retired army vetterns. Incidentaly, they repeled the mounties when they tried to board the ship. Which is a bit of a neat trick without weapons.) and the head tax.

I did a bit of google searching, but didn't find a town that fit the geography. It is very rare to get a city built someplace that doesn't have these 3 things: 1 drinkable water. 2 food to support the city. 3 something to trade. The city you describe has 2 out of 3 (I don't count unconventional agriculture in this because it ain't conventional). It is also missing an industry. Its not a major trading hub, and one assumes that it was one of many fishing bases up and down the coast. What kept the town alive after all the easy trees were cut down? I understand that fish-sticks were a sucessfull product, but how did the population grow fast enough to support a university 10 years after someone put a shovel in the ground? (I generaly consider a generation in my family to by 30-35 years, in many families it is 20. So in half a generation, enough infrastructure built up to have a university. In my town (the capital of British Columbia), the first college was established in 1903, 60 years after the HBC first established a trading post.) Why was it benificial for people to stay, and why did they come? How did the local first nations influince the city? What happend to them?

Going through my list, I have trees, fish, Italians, Africans. What made the place so diverse yet unified that it was politicaly possible to call itself Switzerland durring the civil war? Who were they talking to? Progressive ideas are reflections of the cycle of action and reaction in society, having a center of higher learning would facilitate this.

Sele.
An observation into my own psycology, I don't really understand the gender identity crisis. People are who ever they are, and unless you are sleeping with them, its none of your buisenss. Which brings me to the point that I don't really understand the head space of a transgendered (or should that be present tense?) person. I do understand that the generic americans care about that stuff a lot more than I do. I don't really understand why.
He wanted to do stuff, she did stuff, stuff happend, really complicated stuff happend, and people stoped talking to each other about stuff. Presents a interesting shape of charachter, with lots of ways to understand them, and how they understand themselves.

Dion
His history just doesn't feel as developed. Feels like simpler shape with fewer experiances through which to understand him. No thats not quite right, I don't see from his history how he understands himself. Also, he's a dick. On the plus side, I feel like I have gone to school with people like him. What I think might be missing from his history is the transition to the present.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Geetas-Comics In reply to Reflective-Sentinal [2012-09-06 17:52:29 +0000 UTC]

THIS is exactly the kind of critique I'm looking for. It’s chocked full of details, descriptions, opinions, suggestions and a link to more resources!! WOW, I love this reply! I’ll respond to your comments in detail later on. Right now, I’m going to give a virtual hug.
Write at you later, Dude.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0