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Published: 2010-02-17 01:19:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 113; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Due to the fact that there are probably many female obsessive photographers out in the world, I feel the need to write a helpful guide explaining their behavioral patterns, migrations habits, etc. to the benefit of the oppressed and often confused family and friends of said photographers.1) They WILL take their camera everywhere. Any attempt to detach said camera from photographer may result in unpleasant scenes of violence and verbal abuse.
2) Do not be alarmed if, in the course of their picture-taking, they begin to mutter/speak/scream at their camera. Such behavioral habits are considered normal, and the reactions will normally die down within 30-45 minutes.
3) If they approach you with complaints and long-winded rants about their camera and its short-comings, pretend to understand all of the completely nonsensical vocabulary spewing from their mouth, and nod and coo sympathetically.
4) They must ALWAYS be supplied batteries. If deprived of batteries for their camera, extreme emotional trauma will result and the photographer will descend into withdrawal of camera use. If camera dies, expect severe emotional reactions, such as suicidal tendencies, yelling, hysterics, tremors, etc.
5) If you are not aptly prepared to deal with the social burdens of taking a photographer out in public, do not attempt to do so. They will inevitably make you feel very awkward and frustrated as they will not stop taking pictures of everyone and everything, and thus over stepping many social boundaries. They will also take extremely long time to get from place to place, often making you late. Do not apologize to others about said photographer, or you will be met with extreme emotional abuse from the photographer. It has been said that is generally best not to go anywhere with a photographer, as you will become a. stressed b. fitful c. frustrated d. irritable.
6) Do not be alarmed if they name their camera, and refer to it as a person from then henceforth.
7)When asked about certain photos and their quality, concept, etc., "I don't know" is generally not an acceptable answer and will be met with phrases of verbal abuse. "I don't care." will ensure bodily harm to yourself and most any living thing within a 10 ft radius.
8)Do not attempt to hide yourself or face from the camera of said photographer, or deflect their attempts at your portraiture. This will frustrate and/or offend photographer.
9) It is best not to attempt communication while the photographer is in the post-imaging process (deleting, editing, publishing, etc.) as they will later have no recollection of your conversation and will frequently interrupt you with off-topic input. Do not be alarmed if, while the photographer is in the midst of camera use, fails to respond to any verbal communication. This affect will generally dissipate within a few minutes of the camera being turned off.
10) Be prepared to deal with the expectation of the photographer that while driving, they will expect you to pull over at a apparently minutely important spot for them to take a picture at their request, regardless of time schedules, direction of traffic, extreme weather, etc.
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Comments: 2
thelumpy [2010-02-17 01:24:42 +0000 UTC]
I'm going to print this out and stick it in my purse/glove compartment for whenever anyone complains about photo taking.
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