HOME | DD
Published: 2008-06-30 15:29:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 249; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description
I stared at it and then stared at the box. This was the fourth one I took. Three out of the four were positive, did that mean it was right? I couldn't do anything but stare at it, then stare at the box. I had to remind myself to breathe. It wasn't wrong. It was what we had wanted, but it seemed to come far more quickly than I expected.When he came home, I was standing over the sink by the window. The water was running and I had a sponge in my hand against a plate. But I wasn't washing anything. I couldn't remember how long the water was running, I didn't care. The sound of the door closing and the footsteps following seemed vague, distant.
I dropped the plate and it broke with a loud crash. The footsteps came faster as he rushed in to see what had happened. I grinned, this could be good for us, and I turned around. His confused expression only made my grin spread even more. My hand rested on my stomach, soon to carry a bump, and his eyes followed it. It took him a while, but he eventually got it. He wasn't sure what to think, and he actually passed out.
----------
We were sitting in the doctor's office for our first appointment. He had examined me and told us that if we could just wait there he would be right back to discuss my pregnancy. So, we waited.
It felt like forever as we waited. Why couldn't the doctor just tell us if everything was okay or not? It seemed cruel and we both waited silently, unsure of what to expect.
The doctor came back with some more papers. He filled one out and told us to sign it. Everything seemed to be okay in the pregnancy so far, but he had ordered for us to stay and do an ultrasound to be sure.
We headed back to the waiting room when the nurse brought me three bottles of water. She told me to drink as much as I could, preferably all three, but two at the least and not to use the bathroom until the ultrasound is over. So, I did.
When I went back for the ultrasound, they put a green warm jell on my lower stomach and used a tool attached to the machine to see inside of my stomach. I looked at the screen, but I couldn't make anything out. It was black and gray and very fuzzy.
The pictures were a little more clear, but not by much. When she printed them out and pointed out a small blob and told me that was my baby, I couldn't help but smile. That was my baby, it was real.
---------
I was four months pregnant, and beginning to swell. I went back to the doctors, this time alone. It seemed to go exactly like every other appointment I had until the sonogram.
The nurse looked at the screen longer than she usually did. She moved the tool around more, hoping to get a better look maybe, and printed out the pictures. Instead of giving them to me, she said she would be right back and left the room.
A few minutes later another doctor came in and took a look. They both frowned, oblivious to how worried and scared I was. Finally, the doctor turned to me. He told me to get dressed and meet him in his office, so I did. I walked to his office in a daze. Was everything alright?
He told me that my baby may have a rare condition and that there was a simple blood test to check to see if it was there or not. The rest of the conversation was lost, I was zoned out. MY baby? Sick? Before it even got a chance? How could I live with something like that?
-----
It's been over seven months now and I have a confession to make. Sometimes at night I wrap my arms around my swollen belly. It might be the only way I'll ever get to hold my baby girl. I would get up and start swaying with her in my arms across the room.
The doctor told us that sometimes it helps to give the baby a name. We decided to name her Annabelle after my mother. I started making a picture book of her. I wanted to have as many memories as possible.
I was determined to let the world know who she was. To let them know she really did exist! She really was there! She was mine.
---
I had been in labor for three quick hours before she was born. It happened so fast. I wasn't ready, it was too early. I held her in my arms, afraid to let her go. I could only see her tiny face and it was beautiful.
I finally had to give Annabelle to the nurse to weigh her and get vitals. When she nurse came back, shaken, she shook her head. Somehow when we were holding her, she passed away. Annabella McGovern lived only for a few short minutes.
I started pouring out tears. How could this be? My baby girl. I saw her move, and now she was gone? I wanted to smash something. I wanted everyone to leave. I had prepared myself for this. But she was gone.
Related content
Comments: 12
got2bbb In reply to dead-poetic-vices [2008-07-06 03:15:51 +0000 UTC]
im extremely lazy
maybe tomorrow i'l write it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
got2bbb In reply to dead-poetic-vices [2008-07-07 18:31:22 +0000 UTC]
i will write it one day in the near future
maybe even today if i'm dead bored
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dead-poetic-vices In reply to got2bbb [2008-07-09 03:06:25 +0000 UTC]
I bet you're dead tired...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
got2bbb In reply to dead-poetic-vices [2008-07-09 12:44:15 +0000 UTC]
im just dead
dead tired
dead sore
dead tired
dead bored
dead tired
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
got2bbb In reply to dead-poetic-vices [2008-07-09 20:58:53 +0000 UTC]
OMG IT DOES!!!!!!!
wow i must be brilliant
..or something
jk
👍: 0 ⏩: 1








