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GothicDevil — Morbid Child
Published: 2006-06-04 05:28:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 151; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 7
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Description I search through wounds
for something i wont find
Cause I'm a morbid child
with a distraught mind.

A black old heart
and a soul to match
I find my treasure chest
to unlock the hatch.

I begin to cut
at those crimson tears
I'm thrashing at you
to escape all my fears.

I might want you again
so I hid you under my bed
I don't even care
that you're already dead.

Another body
to feed my desire
another dead soul
to throw on the fire.

Cut at your flesh
and I make it bleed
Your blood in the dirt
like a little seed.

Another one I'll find
to be Lying on the floor
In my morbid mind
you make me want more.

The devils and demons
laughing in your face
I can tell by your eyes
you welcome me with a brace.

You can feel the pain
oh god, I feel it too
the only difference between us
is that I actually want you.

But I've only just begun
and I'm starting to unwind
I'm still a morbid child
with a distraught mind.
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Comments: 17

kishz [2006-06-11 03:43:10 +0000 UTC]

I like the rhyme scheme .

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to kishz [2006-06-11 04:33:45 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou

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zootlocker [2006-06-07 06:38:45 +0000 UTC]

Nice...a little scary, but nice...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to zootlocker [2006-06-07 06:52:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, yep that's the whole point to be scarey .. Hehe

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zootlocker In reply to GothicDevil [2006-06-07 07:03:01 +0000 UTC]

I mean scary-weird...but nice

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GothicDevil In reply to zootlocker [2006-06-07 07:12:09 +0000 UTC]

Lol yeah .. Thanks i'm glad you think it's nice still

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nevergetfooledagain [2006-06-05 17:42:34 +0000 UTC]

Mmmm, yummy...I like the theme. Too bad I have drawers under my bed....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to nevergetfooledagain [2006-06-05 17:44:23 +0000 UTC]

Lol very to bad arnaoid: I'm glad you liked it

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drinkyourtea [2006-06-04 14:50:23 +0000 UTC]

cool poem

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to drinkyourtea [2006-06-04 14:52:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, and thankyou for favouriting it

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drinkyourtea In reply to GothicDevil [2006-06-05 03:22:50 +0000 UTC]

it's alright

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l0stwhispers [2006-06-04 08:39:09 +0000 UTC]

Oh... me likes. Hehe. I really love the rhythm and the rhyme. Brilliantly done. One part I didn't get was this one though:

I find my treasure chest
to unlock the hatch.

How does a treasure chest unlock the hatch? -is confused- xP

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to l0stwhispers [2006-06-04 09:47:02 +0000 UTC]

Yay i'm glad you liked it... Lol yay ... I don't know either, I thought it just went well with it

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l0stwhispers In reply to GothicDevil [2006-06-04 11:03:40 +0000 UTC]

Okay... heh. xP

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GothicDevil In reply to l0stwhispers [2006-06-04 12:14:26 +0000 UTC]

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dreamersrapture [2006-06-04 05:56:44 +0000 UTC]

I really liked this poem. Very well written the imagery is fantastic as well as the emotion behind it. You did a great job

The only thing I wanted to point out structre wise and I wasn't even looking for it just sorta caught my attention is on each little paragraph you end with a period, but on the 3rd sentence in on most of them, but not all you start with another capital letter. So I thought maybe each second line should have a period or some sort of puncuation(sp) maybe you might want to go through and take a look at that. Just for flow and structure purposes. Well again great work.

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GothicDevil In reply to dreamersrapture [2006-06-04 09:46:31 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, I might.. Well i'm glad you liked and thanks for the pointers... I think .

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