HOME | DD

GothicDevil — The Girl In The Closet
Published: 2006-05-13 19:50:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 181; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 15
Redirect to original
Description She lay on her bed, resting, not thinking, not feeling. Suddenly, the sound of a car door slamming startled her into awareness. She sat up quickly and crossed the room to the window.  

It was her father’s car. He was home.

"He’ll be in the house soon!" she moaned.  

Her eyes widened with terror as she quickly scaned the room, finally deciding the closet would be the safest place to hide. She lunged for the door, almost fell inside and quickly closed it behind her. She moved her clothes around until she maneuvered herself into the farthest corner. With her back to the corner, she slid down and squatted on the floor, listening.

She heard her parents talking, a distant mumble of mundane welcome home talk. Her mother laughed as she always did when her father tried to be funny.  He wasn’t funny. Nothing he did was funny.

It was quiet again. The silence scared her. She could feel it creeping up the stairs towards her room, searching for her.  

Then, the sounds of footsteps on the stairs….slowly…closer and closer. Her father’s tread! She knew his step, only he could make that fifth stair creak so. She huddled deeper into the corner.

"Carol!" he called. "Where’s Daddy’s little girl?"

She covered her ears and closed her eyes, thinking she was not his little girl. She was 16 and almost a woman. And why is he calling himself Daddy? She never called him Daddy. It was an evil name, another name for the Devil!

"Carol!" he knocked on the door. "I’ve got something special for you baby!"

Carol sunk lower onto her feet, trembling now, sweating terror, a sweet/sour stench that filled the small closet. She could hear her bedroom door open. She knew he was just outside the door, could feel her revulsion of him. Her heart pounding she bit her lip, trying not to cry out.

Then, a soft knock at the closet door. "Baby, are you in there?" her father asked.

Feeling trapped, caught by his evil, her bladder loosened and she peed all over her legs, onto the floor. Sitting in the dank puddle, she whimpered softly, willing him to give up and go away.

Slowly, the door opened and he turned on the light. She kept her eyes closed. She felt his hand touch hers, then take her wrist and gently pull her to him.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

She did not reply. Keeping her eyes averted as he led her out of the closet, she imagined herself in another place - perhaps the park; yes - the swings and all those children laughing!

"Baby, what on earth did you do? You’re all wet!"  Her father lifted her skirt to see the wetness on her legs, her socks and shoes. "Go get washed up."  His voice, less gentle now, more like the violent harshness she had expected, he let her go. She ran into her bathroom.

Quickly, she used a washcloth to wipe away most of the urine. She removed her shoes and socks and returned to her bedroom. Her head hung like a whipped animal waiting for another swat on the nose.

"Come with me." her father commanded, as he led her from the room. With her hand firmly grasped in his, he led her downstairs into the living room. They were alone.  

She could smell the evil now. She waited for it to reach out and devour her..chew her up….vomit her bones into the fireplace.

Her father led her to the patio door and placed his hand in front of her face.  

"Want to see Daddy’s surprise?" he asked.

NO! She screamed in silent horror! She wanted to go! Run…fly away…. And now he wasn’t letting her see where she was going! She walked blindly forward, waiting for his evil touch.

"Open your eyes" he said.

Quickly, she opened her eyes and saw the flames! God, he was going to burn her alive, he was sending her to hell right here in her own back yard!  He was the Devil!

Screaming, she lashed out with her hands at the expanse of fire in her face.  

NO! she screamed out loud. NO! Leave me alone! Don’t kill me!  

Hands grabbed her arms holding her firmly. She opened her eyes. A birthday cake lay on the patio bricks…messes of white frosting and pink flowers and two lonely candles still lit. She looked up and saw her family looking at her with shock. She stepped back and fell against her father. She began to shriek.

Struggling, screaming! He pulled her into the house.  

She heard her mother on the phone talking in a crying voice "yes, right away. Thank you.  I appreciate it, we just can’t handle it anymore".

Carol went limp in her father’s arms.

"Baby" he sobbed.

She sunk to the floor. Keening, pulling on her hair, Carol vanished into her schizophrenia.
Related content
Comments: 27

MadLes [2006-09-28 23:13:55 +0000 UTC]

i read this all the way through twice and my god wow! you are talented! 9btw i,m infernal,s mom ) love you !

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

MadLes In reply to MadLes [2006-09-29 20:36:19 +0000 UTC]

it was so good the first read ,i had to read again!......and i adopt people .....and you is adopted

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GothicDevil In reply to MadLes [2006-09-29 17:09:05 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou, i'm glad you enjoyed it, how come you read it twice? if you don't mind me asking

Thankyou for saying i'm talented for my story

Hehe hey Infernal's mummy

Awww I love ya too

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

zootlocker [2006-08-24 09:37:05 +0000 UTC]

Wow, very well written...I spent the whole thing expecting something LIKE that... but not that, wonderful. n_n

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to zootlocker [2006-08-24 14:15:05 +0000 UTC]

Lol aww, thankyou ^^ i'm glad you enjoyed it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

zootlocker In reply to GothicDevil [2006-08-24 20:44:34 +0000 UTC]

So am I! lmao, it WAS very well written.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to zootlocker [2006-08-25 00:10:59 +0000 UTC]

LOL, Thankyou ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

zootlocker In reply to GothicDevil [2006-08-25 00:35:13 +0000 UTC]

n_n

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NovembreChuchote [2006-05-17 14:54:40 +0000 UTC]

....and i was like omg

that was really powerful Jessie, I really enjoyed it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to NovembreChuchote [2006-05-17 23:06:18 +0000 UTC]

Lol I hope your face isn't like that still

I'm glad you liked it, and that you thought it was powerful maybe I should do another story soemthing like that again but with heaps of twists

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NovembreChuchote In reply to GothicDevil [2006-05-18 06:35:25 +0000 UTC]

= me

you're going to make me dizzy if you do heaps of twists >.<

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to NovembreChuchote [2006-05-18 06:42:27 +0000 UTC]

Lol I thought your face was like that

He he

Lol so does that mean I can't do anymore twists?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mediocre-matt [2006-05-16 15:10:34 +0000 UTC]

you're a great writer.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to mediocre-matt [2006-05-16 15:11:27 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

l0stwhispers [2006-05-14 09:00:50 +0000 UTC]

Oh, the poor dear. Ah well. I like how you made it, although it was a little exaggerating. xP Great effort though, hun!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to l0stwhispers [2006-05-14 09:10:15 +0000 UTC]

Thnaks, sorry that I made it to exaggersating for you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

l0stwhispers In reply to GothicDevil [2006-05-14 09:12:12 +0000 UTC]

Naw, it's okay. Pushed me to read further though. xP

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to l0stwhispers [2006-05-14 09:15:13 +0000 UTC]

Lol well i'm glad it made you read the rest of it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

laconic-prosaic [2006-05-14 04:33:10 +0000 UTC]

Woah! That's fantastic.

I was getting all spooked out that he was going to hurt her.

It's the way you wrote it.
It made me instantly relate that she was in fear of abuse.
Well, that's exactly what I got - It was writen so well.
Why am I explaining that to you?
You wrote it. Of course you know whats going on!

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic!
Love the twist!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to laconic-prosaic [2006-05-14 09:11:20 +0000 UTC]

Lol it's cool.. Yeah that's the whole point of it was to make people believe that

Thanks, i'm glad you liked it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HalfMunchkin [2006-05-14 03:26:12 +0000 UTC]

Wow. My mouth fell open at the end. You are an incredible writer.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to HalfMunchkin [2006-05-14 09:12:31 +0000 UTC]

Lol I hope you picked it up after it fell

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for saying that i'm an incredible writer

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lostko [2006-05-13 19:57:53 +0000 UTC]

I like how palpable you made her fear. All the time I was reading this I was thinking something completely different, the end was fantastic. Nice little twist you put on it. Your use of imagery is excellent in storytelling. Well done Jessie..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to lostko [2006-05-13 20:00:49 +0000 UTC]

When I was writting it I was going to do something bad at the end but I thought that it would make a better story if you put a twist in it, i'm glad you liked it.. Thanks hug:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lostko In reply to GothicDevil [2006-05-13 22:27:27 +0000 UTC]

By making the ending different then what you are leading up to throughout the story it really grabs you. I think you did a wonderful job babe and look forward to reading more of your prose. Again sweetie good job, .

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GothicDevil In reply to lostko [2006-05-13 22:56:56 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I thought that when I was about to finish it, it does grab you Thankyou i'm glad you liked it.. I'll do some more later.. Thankyou again

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lostko In reply to GothicDevil [2006-05-14 04:57:57 +0000 UTC]

no probs hon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0