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America: Sup dudes; I’m America! I came here to teach my new friend a game! For reals, y’all, Japan and I are homies!

Japanese Boy: Wow… a real foreigner…

Japanese Girl: Why is he so loud…

Japan: Ah…

[Japan and its approaching cultural enlightenment: the continuation]

Japan: So… why was it you came here today…?

America: Dude, check it out, yo! I totally brought you a new game. It’s gonna rock your world, bro! Tada; it’s a futuristic fortune telling game! It totally answers any question you wanna ask it!

Japan: Really? That sound quite interesting… you’ll teach me this, right?

America: Yeah, dude! So you put your hands on the table and ask a question. Then your hands will mysteriously move, once for yes, and twice for no, all on their own!

Japan: How nice… so ghosts are involved… but it seem odd. Can you really tell someone fortune with it?

America: Dude, just you watch.

America’s thoughts: I’m so gonna trick this sucker and move my hands on their own; hilarious!

Japan: Hetalia!

America: Ok, dude! Is there like, something you wanna know about?

Japan: I guess… just ask it if Shiro… he is a dog… will Shiro of the Toda family find a bride. Yeah.

America: Rock out! We’ll ask it about a dog! Here we go! Will Mr. Todo Shiro be able to find a bride…
Holy crap, did you just see that?!

Japan: I did…! That mean yes, correct…!? I think perhaps I understand! Incredible…! This make fortune telling so easy!

America’s thoughts: He bought the whole thing! I was totally right; this IS hilarious!

America: Hetalia!

America: So, whaddaya wanna ask it next?! It can be anything at all! Is there someone or something bothering you!?

Japan: Euh… someone… bothering…? Well… let me think… ever since you came here, the environment and people around me have changed so much… strange things have been happening since I opened myself up to the world. People from my home pretend they are from your home. And people from your home actually believe they are from mine. It’s all very confusing. Do not get me wrong; I think it’s wonderful to get to know the people and culture of countries that I only knew by reputation before. But I’m still worried about whether I can get along well with everybody in the future.

America: Ah…

Japan: So… maybe you could ask it if I… will be able to get along with others… that way I can put it on my résumé…
Nh…

America: Oh… yeah… no prob… I didn’t realize you felt that way… dude! You rock! Now, let’s do this thing, ok?

Japan: はい. (Hai)

America: No way, that was so awesome! Just once!? That’s the answer! It’s a yes! You got a yes! Hahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha!
(Pochi: *doggy noises*…. Nomnomnomnom…)

Japan: Hetalia!

America: How’s it hangin’, bro? You know, you’ve been pretty awesome lately!

Japan: Are you serious?

American Dude: Yeah, man. You’ve been rocking out with your [weiny weiner thing] out, you know?

America: Hey guys, I think we need to go and have a drink with Japan this evening!
Yeah! We’re totally gonna get Japan alone and let’s take him to the bar and get his drag on! Now we’re all gonna get stupid in Japan’s honor tonight! Bring on the liquor! Yeah, ladies! (sound of excitement that I can’t make out)
(Americans: Yeah! *chatter*)

Japan: Um… unfortunately I have business… I have to decline…

Pochi: Pnn… woof!

Japan: Nh…. (sigh)… I am… not sure if I can keep up with these young people…

[Japan sometimes missed Edo’s tranquility.]

Pochi: Woof!

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Japan)

Japan: Ah… ah…

[Madam Maroon]

Japan: Ahh…

[Beef Hot Pot]

Japan: Oh…

[Shoes]

Japan: Hh…

[Guinea Pigs]

Rabbit and Guinea Pig: Hwee! Hwee! Hwee hwee hwee!

Japan: My new pets… hello. I got a guinea pig and a rabbit. They seem very popular with the young people.
(Rabbit and Guinea Pig: Hwee! Hwee… hwee!...)

[Guinea Pig] [Rabbit]

Rabbit and Guinea Pig: Hwee… hwee… hwee!...

[Fluffy Fluffy]

Japan’s thoughts: Cultural enlightenment… it’s so warm and fuzzy!
(Rabbit and Guinea Pig: Hwee…! Hwee! Hwee!)

[To be continued]

Translations
• Fortune Telling Game: Specifically, the game is Table-Turning, an American kind of séance. It’s kind of like an Ouija board. Real table-turning involves letters and having the table spell things out, but the scene gives a pretty good idea of how it’s done. Although America and Japan are supposed to be holding hands. Table-tipping first came around in the early 1850s.
• Toda vs. Todo: With Japan’s accent, it could be either, but in the manga it says “Toda.” America obviously pronounced it “Todo,” so I left it like that.
• Edo: The Edo Period in Japan lasted from 1603 to 1867, and is the predecessor to the Meiji Period. It was the time when the Tokugawa Shogunate ruled Japan. At first there wasn’t isolation, but it was established in 1637.
• Madam Maroon: I’m guessing the color maroon was introduced at this time. I can’t find anything about it, but in China, red was exclusively for royalty to wear, so maybe there was a similar situation in Japan.
• Beef Hot Pot: A dish that became very popular in Japan during the Meiji era. I can’t really tell you what country it came from, since it seems like every country in Asia has their own hot pot, but China is probably a good bet. BBC has a good recipe. The ingredients vary depending on the hot pot. Apparently, beer and coffee also became popular at this time.
• Shoes: Before western shoes were introduced, pretty much everyone wore geta and zōri, which are the sandals made famous by Japan. Zōri are more similar to flip flops. And Tengu geta seem to require a large amount of balance to wear.
• Rabbits and Guinea Pigs: “Everyone (including the author) loves rabbits. During the cultural enlightenment period, they became popular pets. At that time, they were so expensive, that you could sooner afford a ritzy piece of property in Ginza. The rabbit boom got bigger and bigger, until the government added a tax of one yen per rabbit per month. After that, they were discarded into the wild en masse. People should take responsibility for their pets! Guinea pigs were also popular during this time. The price of a guinea pig was 100 times greater than a police sergeant’s paycheck. The first person to have a guinea pig as a pet was the Emperor of Japan. Apparently, one of the Italian nobles gave it to him as a gift. Who knew they would grow to be so common… By the way, guinea pigs with curly hair were developed in Japan. Some guy crossbred a guinea pig with a mouse and ended up with a curly-haired guinea pig. Amazing what difference a little mice can make!” –Himaruya . . . The Amami rabbit (which is a little scary) is endangered and now only found on the islands of Amami Ōshima and Toku-no-Shima. Rabbits can be found native on some islands in Japan, but they aren’t native to most of Eurasia. The lagomorphs found there are hares. Guinea pigs are native to the Andes, not Guinea, and they’re not in the pig family.