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Description
(Opening)

Lithuania: Mr. America… are you trying to clean up here? I-I’ll do it for you…!

America: Oh, no. That’s alright. It’s just a little shit cleaning; I can handle it. I need to see for myself what I should get rid of.

Lithuania: As you wish, sir. Kay… some coffee? I’ll go make some!

America: Thanks! That’d be cool!
(opening door grunt)
Well, great! I can finally clean this place out after nearly a century of collecting dust!
Hm… looking into your own past is never easy… even for me... I’ve tried to clean this place before, but it brought up so many painful memories, every time I’d start to clean, I’d get lost in them…

[America’s Storage Room Cleaning
To be continued]

England: Hey, fat ass… you’ve been gorging yourself so much lately I’m worried that you’re going to kill yourself!

America: Dude, don’t be silly; I’m WAY too into myself to ever do something stupid like that!

England: Ugh… no, that’s not really what I’m saying… you know… with heart disease or by choking…

America: What?? I’m fine! Don’t worry, kay?

[That night…]

America: I work out like a freaking champion…! So I shouldn’t gain that much, right?

[But he’s dressed lightly]

America: DUUUUUUDE!!!
Sure, I ate a lot of genetically modified hormone rich beef, but I totally drank diet soda to balance it out!

[French Method of Weight Loss]

America: I guess I should get an aboral or a gazelle machine or pick up a nice drug habit or get a doctor to prescribe me one; maybe France can help me out!
Hey France!

France: Hm?

America: How do you stay so sexy thin while eating whatever you want like a pig?

France: Well, that’s because I don’t sit around on my butt like you!
(Female Voice: Wowww~!)

[After that, France told America something bad from an educational point of view, so we’re cutting that scene out.]

France: That is a valid workout!!!!

[Chinese Method of Weight Loss]

America: China, is it your crushing poverty that keeps you nice and thin??

China: That’s right! Hard to get fat in a famine. You could also try our traditional tea! Makes your colon slippery!

America: Nnn…! This stuff tastes like ink.

[Japanese Method of Weight Loss?]

America: Wait! I should ask my good friend Japan; he kinda looks like a girl from behind!
Yo! Tell me your ancient Japanese secret diet!

Japan: Well, I eat like human being instead of use food to cover feeling of emptiness.

America: Hey! That was cruel!!

[Shocked]

America: Haah… using these cute little sticks makes it harder to pig out! Hahaha!

[After that, America diligently worked out using a strange machine he created and followed the Japanese method of weight loss.]

Japan’s thoughts: Maybe if I feed him some bad sushi, he’ll go away…

America: Hetalia!

Child America: No way! Is it really ok for me to have it?!

England: Course it is… I did make it special just for you, America.

Child America: Oh man! This is cool! Thanks, Mr. Britain sir!

England: Ehehehehe! Take good care of it! After all, I nearly broke my hand while I was piecing it together.

Child America: Wowww…
England: Eh?

Child America: I’ve got my very own toy soldiers!
(Gasp) You made all their faces different!

England: Mn… I painted each individual figure separately!

America: (Sigh) I’ll never use these again… so I guess I’ll just throw them away…
Hm…? My old suit…

Young America: Hey, what’s with the suit? It looks expensive… too bad… I’ll never wear it…

England: You should. Dressing like a pauper isn’t in fashion. I refuse to be seen with you if you’re not dressed properly.

Young America: So what’s the matter? I think the way I dress is perfectly acceptable!
Nnh...

England: See? Dress like that, and it’s hard to believe you’re the same person!

Young America: Sure… but this isn’t comfortable… I guess I’ll just wear it on special occasions, then…

America: Nn… I’ll never wear this again… I should throw it out too…
Boy! Going through all this old stuff sure could get me depressed…! Isn’t there anything worth saving?
Hm… here’s something good! It’s old, but this thing saved my butt! I’ll keep this… ah…
That scratch…
Nn… that one time… it has to be…

[America’s Storage Room Cleaning
Continued Next Episode…]

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)

Translations:
• Aboral: I’m not entirely sure, but it’s an area on your torso or something like that, and if you search aboral weight loss, you get some pictures of people with really fat stomachs, so I’m guessing it’s a procedure for removing it.
• Gazelle machine: That machine with the handles you pull back and forth with the rotating foot platforms to create mock running. Pretty easy weight loss machine, from how it looks.