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Description
Italy: Hmmm… hm hm!

Japan: Hey, Italy! What is that you’re looking at?
(Italy: Huh?)

Italy: Oh! This! My combat record!

Japan: Yah!

(Opening)

[Germany came to Italy for a little sightseeing.]

Germany’s thoughts: It’s so sunny… is every day like this in Italy? I can feel the liveliness of the city. They’re singing wherever I go… now I understand why Goethe chose to immortalize this place in his poetry. If I could live in such a beautiful land, I would spend my days drinking und singing as well! I have an idea…! Perhaps, while I am here, I should pretend as though I am Italian! I think I will fit in with the locals very well!

Germany: Ah…

Germany’s thoughts: Wunderbar… I will buy fruit from this man!
(Fruit Vendor Who’s Romano in Disguise: Sì, sì, grazie!)

Germany: Ciao! Pronto! Quanto costa!

[Hello. How much is this?]

FVWRiD: Uwawawawa…
Germany: Ha… hahaah…

FVWRiD: Ciao! Ciao!! Just… take it, please; they’re on the house!!

Germany: Seriously!? Grazie!!
Sehr gut… these Italians are surprisingly generous!

Germany’s thoughts: I love this country… besides its general wussiness, there isn’t a thing about this place I don’t like.

FVWRiD: (quivering)
(Germany: Mwahahahahaha!)

Romano: Hetalia!

Japan: The son of Mr. Yoshida—he’s a bento shop owner—made Axis themed lunches for us. Would you like one? He actually made them specifically with our three countries in mind. Mine has rice with a pickled plum on top!

Italy: Yucky; that sounds tasteless! So, what does mine have in it?

Japan: Yours is pasta with a lovely stewed tomato sauce. For dessert, some zuccotto.

Italy: Yeah!! That sounds good!

Germany: Do I get some…?

Japan: Of course you do! You are a part of the mighty Axis as well! For you.

Germany: Ah….ah…

Japan: Hetalia!

Tōgō Heihachirō: Hey Japan, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Japan: I’m cooking potatoes in broth along with fresh mountain vegetable.

Tōgō: I had some beef stew at Britain’s house once. Can we have that instead?

Japan: What?? You want me to make British food? But it is so bland!

Tōgō: Thanks! I knew you’d do it!

Japan: What kind of fool want food from Britain when they could have something delicious I make. I can make better stew than Britain! I have the finest palette in the world! I am not certain how to make, but it will be better than anything from that tasteless island! Let me see, I will need beef, potato, a carrot… what else… a noodle! Soy sauce to make brown… wait, this doesn’t look right!!
Sir, stew is complete…!

Tōgō: See? I knew you could do it!

Japan: I apologize if it is not correct.

[This is the dish later known as nikujaga.]

Japan and Tōgō: Nom nom nom…

Japan: I love it!

[Big Discovery!!]

Tōgō: Delicious!

England: (jealous rage)

[Nikujaga]

England: Hetalia!

America: Dude, rock out, I am awesomely the first one here! Now I can say…
Say! Aren’t you running a little late?
Those losers are gonna totally feel, like, completely stupid, yo!
Ah…

America’s thoughts: It’s Britain!

England: Alright…! That should do the trick! Heh!

[Italy] [Germany] [Japan]

America’s thoughts: The portraits; Britain was drawing them the whole time?!
(America: Ah….ah…ah….)

America: Hetalia!

China: What’s up with these weird drawings?!

France: They’re even worse than our actual animation!!
Who drew this crap? It does not capture the essence of my natural beauty!

[Pickax]

England: Yes, and I have a unibrow for some reason…

China: I think the ones at the bottom are best.

Russia: If that one’s supposed to be of me… I’ll hack it out with my pickax!

China, England, France: You’ll what?!

America: Uhhh… well that’s just annoying…! Why would someone choose to draw us in such a fashion?! It’s unforgiveable really; how dare that mysterious person flexibly express all our individual characteristics with skilled sketches using boldly formed, innovative, and cutesy American pop art styles he probably learned in New York City!

[Blah, blah, blah, blah…]

England: So it WAS you.

China: You’re an ass!

America: Hetalia!

China: That’s unacceptable! I will draw all the portraits from now on!

America: Ah…uh..euh…
(Russia: Ufufufufufufu~!)

America, Russia, France, England: China… you’re a chick!?

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Japan)

Kumajiro: You are?

Canada: I’m Canada!

Greece’s Cat: Meow….

Children: To be continued!

Translations
• Italy's books: According to Funimation, Italy's books include titles such as German Girl, Italian Girl, Girls of the World, Excellent Pasta, Wonderful Pasta, Bravo Pasta, Beloved Pasta, I Love Pasta, Mr. Useless, I Love German, How to Make White Flags, LOVE Japan, and Rome Grandfather.
• Goethe: Johan Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) was a German writer and statesman. When visiting Italy, he decided that “To have seen Italy without having seen Sicily is to not have seen Italy at all, for Sicily is the clue to everything.” He wrote a nonfiction book called Italian Journey.
• Wunderbar: Wonderful (German)
• Pronto! Quanto costa?: Ready! How much does this cost? (Italian)—Pronto means hello on the phone. In Spanish, it means soon.
• Sehr gut: Very good (German)
• Bento: Japanese lunch boxes. Technically, there’s no reason to not eat it at a time that isn’t lunch, but it’s basically a meal in a box. It often contains rice (actually, I think it ALWAYS contains rice), fish or meat, and steamed or pickled vegetables. A lot of them can be decorated to be really cute! A common thing to do is make panda rice balls!
• Zuccotto: An Italian desert originating in Florence. It’s a semi-frozen chilled desert made from cake, brandy, and ice cream. So, basically, Italy invented ice cream cake for grownups.
• Beef Stew: Stew originated when people wanted to hide rotting meat in something that was still edible, so it’s not exactly considered something you would feed to a guest in Britain, but I guess whatever Iggy wants to serve to Tōgō Heihachirō. It’s made with beef browned in fat along with vegetables, such as carrots, onions, mushrooms, other root vegetables, and bacon, which isn’t a vegetable. The meat is tenderized after being covered in liquid and left to cook gently.
• Nikujaga: The legend goes that Tōgō Heihachirō (an admiral in the fleet in the Imperial Japanese Navy) ordered naval cooks to create a Japanese version of a stew served in the British Royal Navy. This was made up to promote Maizuru, a city in Kyoto. It was invented in the late 19th century and contains meat, onions, potatoes, and sweetened soy sauce.
• American Pop Art: A style that devised in the late 1950s (meaning it shouldn’t have happened yet during this episode). It actually started in Britain in the mid-1950s, but this is AMERICAN pop art we’re talking about. Probably the most famous American pop artists are Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. Other countries who took interest in pop art were Spain, Japan, Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Russia.