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Japan: It does not matter what I wear during the winter; my coat just end up hiding it.

America: Wh-Wh-What are you talking about? You can totally reflect your personal sense of style with your coat, dude! Man it’s wicked cold; I’m freezing my berries off out here!

(Opening)

[After Christmas…]

America: Ugh, I’m bored… dude, I freaking hate winter; there’s nothing fun to do!

Cat: Meow!

Japan: Now that Christmas is over, it will be quite busy! New year is next!

America: I know! I’ll go buy the latest horrifyingly expensive video game to survive this lame-ass winter!

Japan: If I wait until last minute to buy food for traditional New Year dish, they run out of all good stuff! Last year, they run out of mashed chestnut. I had to crush whole ones myself! Men should never have to crush his own nuts…

America: Ah, crap!! It’s a crazy blizzard out here!!!

(Japanese People: *being lively*)
Japan: I enjoy this time of year; everyone so lively!

America: Man, what’s with this weather; my ears are about to freeze off… ah, these things here.

Japan: Here… apparently, I bought a little bit too much…

Pochi: (pant pant)

Japanese Woman: It’s cold outside, isn’t it. Please have some nice hot tea.
(Japan: Ah?)

Japan: Ah… ありがとう. (Arigato)

America: Ahh!! Dude, the cold sucks!! I’m never gonna go outside again! But, luckily I’ve got this new game to play!

Japan: Ah… my old bones think grocery shopping hard work…!

Pochi: Mew?

America: This game’s freaking hard; my brains keep getting eaten. The goal is to kill the zombies and not the other way around, right?

Japan: Ok, there is only one thing left for me to do. Time to pound some steamed rice!

America: Sweet, I’ve got a totally cool idea; I’m gonna prank call Britain! This will be awesoooome!

England: Yes? What, America.

America: Oh, you knew it was me. Well… you wanna come over and play some video games?

Japan: Zho!
Man Walking Down Street: Ah…
Japan: Zih! Hiya! Hwoooah!

America: That’s cool… you’ve got some stuff to do. Yeah, it’s ok… we’ll just hang out later…
(Game: Brains… I need some brains! With a second (?) of beans! (I think))

Japan: (Pounding mochi) Eh..eh… euh…!! Eh, hyeh!!

Man Walking Down Street: Sir, is everything alright?!

Japan: はい, (hai) no problem…!

America: Stupid winter. I’m gonna boycott you until you go away.

[Snug snug]

Japan: Haah… it is finally complete… now I just have to wait for New Year!

America: What the hell! I said I don’t wanna go outside and immediately the light bulb burns out! That’s just great; now I gotta go get another one?! You gotta be kidding me! What kinda crack comedy is this?!

Japan: Oh no! This isn’t like me; I almost forgot the most important thing! Without manga and ice cream, there is no point in celebrating New Year!

America: Aren’t you scared to play that game in the dark like this? Dude, you even listening? ….dude?

Japan: グレート. (Gurēto) I have my manga and ice cream now. It’s time to go home. Ah…

America: (On a light bulb hunt) Ugh… I’ve been out here for over a freaking hour…! Who knew every store in town would be closed tonight?! Ugh, winter can suck on my jingle bells…

Japan: (eating a dumpling) Say what you will; I am a glutton and proud of it.

Pochi: Mew?

America: Perfect… now I have to go to bed in the dark…

[And after that, America’s slovenly life of hibernation continued…]

[January]

Announcer: Happy New Year, everyone! It’s time for a fresh start! A do-over, some would say! How are you doing over your year?

Japan: (tired)

[February]

Japan: Demons… out!

Pochi and Bird: Mew!

[March]

Child: I swear, I’ll get a girlfriend this year!

Other Child: Riiiiight.

Pochi: Mew!

[And then one morning…]

America: Nh… nhh… (yaaaaaaawn)…
Oh, snap!! It’s spring! Boo ya! Here I come!

Japan: Ah…!

America: Helloooooo spring!
…..it lied… that jerk…

Japan: The buds are blooming…! Well then, I suppose it’s time for us to make the dumpling!

Pochi: Mew!

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Japan)

Japan: Hello. Would you like to come see the cherry blossom?

America: Maybe…! If your place is warm right now, I’m there…!

Children: To be continued maybe!

Translations
• Person America talks to: In case you haven’t seen the actual episode, or don’t have easy access to it and can’t remember, it’s Tony the Alien, who apparently isn’t an alien because he’s America’s friend.
• グレート (Gurēto): Great (Japanese imitating English)—It was probably just “great” in flat out English, but it sounded too much like the word with his accent to leave it out.
• New Year in Japan: In Japan, Christmas is more of a romantic holiday than it is in the West, where it is a holiday traditionally intended for family. New Year (December 31-January 4) is the holiday for family to spend time together and exchange gifts or money.
• Demons, out!: Here, Japan is celebrating Setsubun, a holiday that takes place on February 3rd where the idea is to cleanse the evils of the previous year. To do this, they scatter roasted beans, because Oni (Japanese demons) really hate beans. Sometimes a member of the household will dress up as an Oni for the children to throw beans at, and it’s really cute.
• I’ll get a girlfriend!: March 14th in Japan is White Day, the day when boys give gifts to the girls who gave them gifts on Valentine’s Day exactly a month earlier. White Day is celebrated throughout Asia, and it is expected for the men to return the favor of gifts.
• Would you like to view the flowers?: Hanami (花見) is the Japanese tradition of enjoying the beauty of flowers, usually cherry blossoms. It ends up being a picnic and outdoor party nowadays. Japan gifted America many sakura trees in the 1900s, and so now Washington D.C. has a Cherry Blossom Festival as well.