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Published: 2014-06-17 20:42:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 6142; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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[The time was WW2]Germany: The time was World War Two!
Italy: But it hasn’t started yet!
Italy’s narration: Russia and Germany are getting acquainted and devious before Germany takes over the world! So Russia’s coming for a visit!
(Italy: La laaaa~)
Hitler: Ah! You over there in the beer garden! Put down that… shtein (I think it just becomes nonsense from here on out)
[Flustered]
Italy’s narration: I don’t know what he’s saying, but it sure sounds crazy, and that must mean Russia is important!
Hitler: You idiot; do you hear what I’m telling youuuuu!?
Germany: Ja, ja…
(Opening)
[Meanwhile, Russia was agonizing over what to wear the following day.]
Russia: This won’t do… too boring! My uniforms are stupid!
Lithuania: But Russia…! I think your uniforms are totally classic…
Russia: Germany and Italy both have uniforms that make them look so magnificent compared to me… I don’t want to go all the way to Germany just so I can look like a fool…!
Lithuania: Ehehe I guess you could be right…! Your uniforms either make you look like a security guard or like a figure skater! Everything you have is either stiff or simply too fabulous.
(GASP!!)
Russia: Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol…
[Clack, clack, clack…]
Lithuania: Of course I could be wrong and maybe stiff figure skaters are all the rage this year!!
(Russia: …kolkolkolkolkolkolkol…)
Russia: Hetalia!
[Around that time, Italy was having a dream.]
Italy: Yaaaaay! Ah! It’s Germany and Japan! Hey, check it out! This pretty flower can represent the love between us! You guys aren’t talking about killing me, are you?
Germany: I do have a really good sausage maker…
Japan: That should work… we can’t allow him to betray us again…
Italy: Wha…?!
Romano: They can say whatever they want.
Italy: What…?
Romano: So what if you stabbed them in the back? You saved your own skin.
Italy: Wait… but those two guys are my friends…! Why would I do that to them…?
Um… Germany…? I know I’m not strong, but I’m cute…! Please don’t ever forget about me…! Uwa…!
UWAAAAAA!!! GEEEEEEEEERMAAAAAAAAAANYYYYYYYYY!!!!! AHHHHH!
WAAAAAA! PLEASE DON’T EVER LEAVE ME FOR SOMEONE ELSEEEE!!!!!!
(Germany: AUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!)
Germany: Get off of me-agh…!! Mein deutsch balls!
(Italy: Uwawawawawawawa…!!)
Italy: Hetalia!
Italy: France, help me!! I’m so very afraid of being alone!!!
France: You’re interrupting my beauty sleep and I was having a dream about chocolate and Jerry Lewis!!
(Italy: *continues to complain. Unfortunately, I can’t hear it over France*)
Italy: Sorry…
France: Now get ahead! What do you want?
Italy: I don’t want my friends to forget about me just because I betrayed them… what do you do when you don’t want to lose a friend…
France: Well! Sometimes showing your butt will do the trick!
Italy: Uhhhh…
Hey Japan! Want to see my butt?
Japan: Not if you pay me million dollar.
Italy: Hetalia!
Italy: France, your idea only made things a whole lot worse!!
France: You… didn’t really do it, did you…?
Italy: Yeah! ‘Cause you told me butts were the universal language of friendship, remember?!
France: Well, I was messing with you, but good on you for having the courage. You should just tell them how you feel. Better yet, write it down in a letter so you don’t end up saying something stupid…!
Italy: A letter! Got it!
Italy’s letter: Dear Germany. It’s your friend, Italy! I had a really scary dream last night and I don’t want it to come true! I dreamt you stopped being my BFF because Russia was cooler and less like… well… me! Your Friend Forever. Italy Veneziano. PS—those sausages you left outside taste really bad.
Italy: There. It’s perfect! Germany will have to love me now!
Eh… Germany…?
Germany: Ah?
Italy: Hello my name is Giovanni… I have something for you… I mean my name is Italy, and… sì, I er… wrote you a letter… I mean not just one letter…
Germany: What’s the matter… did you have a stroke?
(Italy: I just want to be your friend… and please don’t kill me, sir!)
[Paper]
Russia: Hetalia!
Russia: Haaaah… I wonder what Germany’s going to be like! I’m so excited!
Lithuania: You’re going to have a wonderful time!
Lithuania’s thoughts: One more day and then no more Russia for me!
Russia: You too…! I need my little Lithuania to come with me to Germany.
Lithuania: Please, no! I don’t want to go because Germany looks like he’s got a bad temper and I’m very small! Besides, I’ve already planned a date for me and Belarus tomorrow hahaha…!
Russia: That’s ok! I’ve saved seats on the train to Siberia; there’s one for her too! I’ve also saved a couple for you two guys, of course!
(Lithuania: Hahahaha…)
Estonia and Latvia: Ah…!!
The Baltic States’ thoughts: He can have us killed if he wants…! Fear of death is loyalty to Russia…
Baltic States: We’re happy to go with you…
(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)
Japan: Hey Germany… I was doing some cleaning and I happened upon this paper.
Germany: Ah… ehheheh….
Children: To be continued maybe!
Translations
• Russia and Germany are getting acquainted: Germany and Russia signed a non-aggression pact in August 1939, a month before the invasion of Poland. This meant that Russia, Poland’s neighbor to the east, would in no way help him fight off Germany, his neighbor to the west. In fact, Russia assisted in invading Poland and then joined the allies, planning to stab Germany in the back while he wasn’t looking. Germany learned about this and was like “Nooo my oil!” because Russia was really close to his only oil supply in I think Romania (who was split in half when choosing the German and Soviet spheres of influence). That’s why Germany attacked Russia with such horrible timing. Also, the name of the German who signed the non-aggression was Ribbentrop, which is a pretty killer name, even though it doesn't sound very German to me for some reason.
• Mein: My (German)
• Deutsch: German (German)—LOL German German German
• Shari Lewis (1933-1998): She was an American ventriloquist, puppeteer, and children’s show host. The pictures of her I’ve seen are actually pretty attractive, so I guess it isn’t THAT weird, but during the time of this episode she was only six, so ah…
EDIT: I'll leave Shari up, but Jerry Lewis is an American comedian, actor, singer, film producer, screenwriter and film director, mostly known for his comedy. The French love him so much it became a British stereotype of them. He was at his late teens at the time of the episode I believe.
• Train to Siberia: Soviet prisoners would be sent to Siberia to labor camps (aka the Gulag.)
Related content
Comments: 8
Yeriin [2016-03-09 02:34:49 +0000 UTC]
"Yeah! ‘Cause you told me butts were the universal language of friendship, remember?!"
That part killed me. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
chriswolvie [2015-07-07 01:40:32 +0000 UTC]
Actually, France didn't say "Shari Lewis" but "Jerry Lewis". It's said the Jerry has almost God-like followings in France. Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure but, at the least, it fulfills the "stereotype" quota.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HetaliaENGTranscript In reply to chriswolvie [2015-07-07 11:51:52 +0000 UTC]
Huh, really? They're pronounced exactly the same in a French accent, so thanks! I'll fix that up when I have spare time at work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
chriswolvie In reply to HetaliaENGTranscript [2015-07-07 14:51:16 +0000 UTC]
Sorry to keep correcting you...hope you don't take it in offense. Just trying to help make these accurate is all. If you want me to stop, I will.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HetaliaENGTranscript In reply to chriswolvie [2015-07-08 16:24:45 +0000 UTC]
No, no, by all means, it's really a help! I'm only one person, so I'm obviously not going to know everything. I really appreciate all your help! I'm sorry if I made it seem otherwise Please keep doing what you're doing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ClaymoreGirl649 [2015-02-05 14:24:11 +0000 UTC]
"I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute."
Gospel truth!! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HetaliaENGTranscript In reply to ClaymoreGirl649 [2015-02-06 19:44:14 +0000 UTC]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ClaymoreGirl649 In reply to HetaliaENGTranscript [2015-03-12 16:40:01 +0000 UTC]
Also, Russia's gone into kolkol mode. Run, Lithy, run!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0