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Japan: こんにちは (Konnichiwa). I am Japan. I enjoy sensing the mood and refraining from speaking.

Germany: It’s true! Ok, so I brought someone who will be our new ally!

Japan: Do you speak of Italy? Alright; I am in agreement. Although I am curious…

Japan: He surely is not the obviously suspicious character over there, is he?
(Italy: *laughing*)
(Girls around him: *making sigh noises*)

Germany: I don’t want to believe it either, but… that’s him…
Japanese soldier: Improper!

Cat: Meow!

Japan: I have signed the paperwork, but he appears to be sleeping.

Germany: Ja, that is kind of his thing.

Cat: Meow!!!

[September 1940: The Tripartite Pact among Japan, Germany and Italy was signed.]
[Of course, they didn’t sign it while getting warm under a kotatsu table.]

(Opening)

Germany: Now, Japan. Do you think you could make U-boats using those blueprints we had from the other day?

Japan: Well, I think your design is much too big to do in my home. But please do not worry. We succeeded in miniaturizing it using technology.

Germany: No way!!!

[U-boat]
Japan: We have twelve color random assortment, and we will release new additional colors to match each season. A popular voice actress will advertise it for us too.

Germany: Cool!

Mecha-U-boat: *robotic roar*

Japan: And that is its ultimate final form.

Germany: This is wunderbar, Japan!

German civilian: Ah…!!

Italy: Hetalia!

Italy: Ciao, Japan! Guess what I heard! Germany said you were good at miniaturizing! Do you think you could shrink me too?

Japan: Apologies, but no, we are not currently accepting orders to miniaturize Italians.
(Italy: You shrank it! Your thing!)

Japan: *Sigh*… Japanese people grow-a, not show-a.

Italy: Whoa! What is this?! Stupendo!! Amazing!!! HWOAAA!!!!!!!
Kids: Chibitalia!

Narrator: Oh no! I wonder what happened. Mr. Spain isn’t his usual cheerful self!

Chibitalia: Big brother Spain looks lonely… hey, what happened? What’s wrong with you, fratello?

Spain: Hola, mi hermano. Let me give to you some advice. You should go do all of the things you desire as soon as possible.

Chibitalia: Eh… why do you say that?

Spain: Don’t worry. You will find out soon enough.

[Hapsburg territory]

(Austrian army: Hwaaaaaaaaaah! *victory cry!*)

Chibitalia: Oh, yes, I get it now…

Kid: The Italian Wars!

[The Italian Wars 1522-1544]
Narrator: During the Italian Wars, all of Italy was victimized. It was beaten up by rude little countries here and there, and was eventually sold piece by piece to the real bullies: the powerful countries. It wasn’t long before young master Italy began his new life as a suffering underling.

(Chibitalia: *crying*)
Austria: Alrighty. You belong to me, Austria, so suck it up. Your new job is going to be to serve me and do what I say; do you understand? Now then, I’ll supervise all the industry and politics in your land. The only thing you have to do is loyally obey me without asking any questions. Do you have any questions for me?

Chibitalia: Eh… just-a one… by any chance do you serve pasta he-
Austria: No we don’t.

Italy: Hetalia!

Germany: This Asian country has become a great power in such a short amount of time. It’s hard to think Japan was closed off to the world only 60 years ago. He’s a little naïve, but he’s hardworking, honest, and knows many different whale recipes! He senses the mood, and refrains from speaking! He’s not half bad.

Japan: I’ll think about it. Perhaps next time. We shall see. I always say no. It’s a quirk.

Germany: His name is Japan. He’s rather mysterious. And then there’s that one. All he does is follow me around all the damn time.
(Italy: *laughing* Pasta~!)

Germany: And then there’s that one… and then there’s that one…
Kid: To be continued maybe!

[To be continued… maybe…]

Italy: Ciao, it’s Italy! We were right in the middle of WWII! By we, I mean Germany, Japan, and me! We’re all part of the Tripartite Pact, and we drifted to a southern island to take a little vacazione! Wow! We were dragged into drama after drama! It was crazy! What’s going to happen to us? Find out in the next episode of Hetalia! Crying Out SOS at the Center of the World! Hasta la pasta!
[Next episode: Crying Out SOS at the Center of the World. Tune in next time!!]

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)

Translation:
• こんにちは (Konnichiwa): Hello (Japanese)
• Kotatsu table: “A kotatsu (炬燵) is a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits. Underneath is a heat source, often built into the table itself.” It’s like a Japanese heated bed table! (source: Wikipedia)
• U-boat: German submarines used during the World Wars. It’s the Anglicized version of U-boot, the German word for the ships, which is in turn short for its full name: Unterseeboot, meaning undersea boat. The German term refers to any submarine, while the Anglicized version (and some other languages) is limited to the ones used during the wars. (source: Wikipedia)
• Wunderbar: Wonderful (German)
• Stupendo: Superb, wonderful (Italian)
• Fratello: Brother (Italian)
• Hola, mi hermano: Hello, my brother (Spanish)
• Japan was closed off to the world only 60 years ago: Starting with the Tokugawa period in the 1600s, Japan went into isolation with two exceptions—the Dutch and Chinese were allowed to trade in Dejima and some small ports outside the country. In 1853, Commodore Matthew Perry came with “Black Ships” and requested for Japan to open itself up. This goes into more detail in a later episode. Later on, Emperor Meiji began a rapid modernization period so that Japan would avoid its neighbors’ fate of imperialism, known as the Meiji Restoration. (sources: Last year’s World Studies notes and Wikipedia)
• Vacazione: I think they made a little mistake with this one. Italy speaks Italian, but vacazione means professional attendance, or accommodation, or something of the sort (vacazione is not in my Italian-English dictionary.) Vacation, what I’m pretty sure they meant to say, is vacanza in Italian. The closest thing to vacazione that means vacation is vacaciones, which is Spanish.