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Description
(Opening)

Russia’s narration: One day, my older sister said…

Ukraine: Bye! It’s been nice knowing you, brother! At this rate, we’ll never see each other again (crying)!

Russia’s narration: Then she turned around and left my house for good… right now, she’s trying to make new friends in the European Union…!

Ukraine: Please! I have to find a friend! Won’t someone be friends with meeeee?! (sob) I all alone in the cold and lonely world…! I am not ready to fend for myself… I’m scared… and lacking natural defensive borders… and high speed internet!! (crying)

Russia: Hey, sis…! Stop it…!

Russia: Hetalia!

Russia’s narration: A long time ago, we all used to live happily together. After a little genocide, that is… in a place called the Soviet Union. But one by one, everyone left me alone. Lonely… sad… sometimes pathetically inebriated…

Russia: Nh!

[She’s back]

Belarus: I left him when my sister Ukraine went away. But I just feel safer between his strong arms.

Russia: Bela-

Belarus: I’ll stay with you forever, Big Brother. Even if you don’t want me to stay, I’ll stay.
(Russia: What?)

Russia: That’s so sweet! Even though it creeps me out a bit…!

Belarus: And if you marry me, then our souls will be bonded for all of eternity!

Russia: Ah..ah…..

Belarus: Hetalia!

Russia’s narration: Recently, my boss and Italy’s boss, both fabulous dancers and narcissists, have gotten very close! I guess that means I can finally become friends with Italy too!

Russia: I… was thinking that we should start hanging out…!

Italy: Ok! (tremble)
(Romano: *tremble*)

Russia: Hm~!

Romano: Don’t you dare! (tremble)
Italy: Ah…!! (tremble)

Russia: I heard you guys have a really nice house and good food! You don’t mind if I come over, do you?
(Italy Brothers: *tremble*)

Belarus: He’s mine!

Italy Brothers: Ah! Ah…! Ah…! (trembling)

Russia: Huh? Ah…?

[Flustered]

Italy: Hetalia!

Belarus: Boo!

Ukraine: Aaaah! Russia, help! She’s creeping me out with her eyes; they keep turning black!
(Russia: Haha….)

Lithuania: Hahaha…! He gets pushed around by his sisters! That’s so lame; loser! I wouldn’t mind being pushed around by them, though.

Estonia: Yeah, but then he takes all of his passive aggression out on us… it is nice to have sisters around, though…!

Latvia: Jā! They’re so cute! I wish that I had some siblings! Or at least a pet sugar glider!

Lithuania: Ah!
Estonia: Ah!

Lithuania: …yeah…

Estonia: …me too…

[Although they are called the “Three Baltic States,” they are pretty much strangers to one another.]

[International Loner] (Latvia)

Latvia: ……yeah…. I’m alone…

Lithuania and Estonia: (nervous laughing)

[All the best, Latvia.]

Baltic Trio: Hetalia!

Russia: (Sigh)… I wonder when things started changing between us… I remember we used to be so close…

Chibi Russia: It’s cold, huh…

Chibi Belarus: Ye…

Chibi Ukraine: Hold on! This should do the trick!

Chibi Russia: Ah…

Chibi Ukraine: Here! So I can always keep you warm! It makes you look so handsome!

Chibi Russia: But sis! This is your favorite scarf, isn’t it?

Chibi Belarus: Nooooooo!

Chibi Ukraine: All I ask is for control from the Black Sea to Poland! Ahahaha!

[Inheritance rights to Kievan Rus]

Chibi Russia: My sister’s a total nut job…!

Russia: Ok. I guess we weren’t that close.

Belarus: Grr!

Russia: Hetalia!

Russia’s narration: France has this really cool radio show! It’s super popular, so I sent a letter in to him. I hope he reads it today! I’m so nervous…

France: Welcome to the Mental Hug, with your host, France! How about we check the mail? “I am having a problem, France. You seem like such a likeable talk show host. Tell me, what should I do if I want more people to like me?” Ah… that’s a good question! And my answer is even better! You share your love! Dig it? Finding your next friend could be as easy as saying “Hey, do you want to bear my children?” You should try it!

Russia: I’m not sure that would attract the right people…

Belarus: (Hissss!)

Russia: Ah!!

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Russia)

(Pictures of Liechtenstein and Austria drawn with chalk)

Children: To be continued maybe!

Translations
• Lacking Natural Defensive Borders and High Speed Internet: Ukraine borders seven countries—Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Moldova, Romania, Belarus, and Russia—but the only natural boundaries she has with any country is the Carpathian Mountains, which separate her from Slovakia and Hungary, who are probably the least of her worries. They run through Romania too, but there are still places where Ukraine borders Romania without mountains in the way. The Black Sea is directly to the south of Ukraine, but it offers no real boundary, since Russia and Romania are still like right there. And I don’t know how fast her internet was in 1991, but nowadays her internet use is considered to be rapidly growing.
• Everyone left: The order that the countries leave in the anime is shadowy figure on the right, shadowy figure on the left, Ukraine, Belarus, Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania. This is a bit misleading, but they basically show it backwards for some reason. Lithuania was the first to declare independence from the Soviet Union, followed by Estonia, Latvia, Georgia, Ukraine, Belarus (one day later), Moldova, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Armenia, and then Turkmenistan. Strangely enough, Russia declared independence from the Soviet Union before Kazakhstan did. However, the two officially split on Christmas in 1991. Belarus returning is most likely a reference to the Union State (more on that in the translation notes for Episode 42).
• Russia and Italy: Surprisingly enough (in the Hetalia world), Russia and Italy are actually good friends! Even during the Soviet times and WWII, Italy was always nice to Russia. They work together a lot, Italy gave Russia a car assembly plant, and Russia imports oil to Italy, courtesy of Gazprom. Also, Italy for a long time had the largest communist party in the Western world (he DID invent the concept). The two bosses Russia refers to is most likely Berlusconi and Putin, who are personal friends.
• Jā: Yes (Latvian)
• Control from Black Sea to Poland (Kieven Rus): The Kievan Rus was a loose federation of East Slavic tribes. It was around from the 9th to 13th centuries (so Russia really takes good care of that at least 700 year old scarf). Wikipedia lists it as part of the history of Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine, so it’s likely that the three of them lived together as a family during this time, kind of like in the way China used to raise his siblings. The Black Sea to Poland is for the most part, Ukraine’s current territory. Belarus holds the rest of the border with Poland, but she was taken by Lithuania.