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[Switzerland Checkpoint]

Narrator: Laik-teh—lee? Lai? Liechtenstein… and Switzerland have a customs agreement which allows people to travel freely between the two countries. As a result, when you cross the border from Austria into Lai-eech-ten-stien-stein stien? Stein? Laichtenstein? Switzerland will perform the customs inspection, not Laicshtenshtien. In other words, since Leechstenshtien doesn’t perform its own inspections, it doesn’t have an entry stamp. Instead, if you go to the capital’s tourist center, they will affix a stamp bearing a crown for you, as a souvenir of your visit to L…Liechtenstein?

(Cheering)

Switzerland: And now we will begin our homeschool training session on self-defense!

[Civil Defense]

Liechtenstein: Right!
Nh…

Switzerland: Pay attention. Don’t talk to strangers, ever! And certainly don’t let them into the house. They’ll try to tempt you with candy and treaties, but don’t listen! If you simply don’t know what to do, just ask me, ok? But always remember, stranger danger is the key! Understood?

Liechtenstein: Ah… Switzy? I hate to interrupt, but…

Switzerland: If you hate to interrupt, then don’t do it; it’s as simple as that.

Liechtenstein: It’s just… the pictures you draw are very cute…! Would you draw them on some paper for me?

Switzerland: Ugh…

Liechtenstein: Hetalia!

Switzerland: Would you please try and focus; this is important! You need to be careful of wild animals. They may look cute, but you can never be sure what they might do! Some of them have sharp fangs readied with poison so they can kill you! And if you decide to take one in, don’t take just one because they deserve to have friends!
(Liechtenstein: *shaking*)

Liechtenstein: Ah ha…..

Switzerland: Ah…!

Liechtenstein: Ah… (not paying attention)

Switzerland: Nh… ghhhhh…
Almost done; we’ll finish the training after this…

Liechtenstein: I’m sorry…

Switzerland: Hetalia!

Japan: Nh…

America: Hm!

Narrator: In order to get to know each other better, and pollute their individual cultures, Japan and America decided to visit each other’s houses.

Children: Japan and America become buddies!

[Japan and America]

Creepy Voice: Hee hee hee hee!

Narrator: In America, they don’t hesitate to sell desserts that use colors and things you’d never expect to see on food and cakes with names like “Devil This” and “Angel That.”

[In America, they don’t hesitate to sell desserts that use colors and things you’d never expect to see on food and cakes with names like “Devil This” and “Angel That.”]

America: Dude, why are you taking a picture of a cake!

Japan: I have compulsive need to take picture of everything.

Japan: Hetalia!

Cuba: I hate America! You’re nothing but a bully grande!
(Canada: Ah… ah… ah!!)

[Cuba]

Canada: Maple…!

[This is basically what Canada’s daily life is like, so he bears a nasty grudge against America. Unfortunately, no one cares.]

Canada: That hurt… this is America’s fault… he better get ready because I’m about to give him a what for…
Listen to me, America…! I wanted to let you know something, mister! You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, and I’ve had enough of it!

America: Hm? Sup, Canadia?

Canada: Oh, nothing! It’s uh… a beautiful day today, isn’t it?

America: …..hahaha! Of course it is, dude! Now why’d you really come here? (Chainsaw~)

Canada: I… just wanted to chat! But it’s nothing important or anything; don’t worry about it…

America: Hetalia!

Canada: Uh… it’s just… you know how you like to boss everybody around? Well they always think I’m you so they take it out on me… I don’t suppose you would reconsider being the asshole of the world, would you?

America: Huh? (Chainsaw~)

Canada: Ahhhhhh!!!!
Gotcha! Just kidding! I was so totally joking with you just then, America…! Wasn’t that funny…?

America: When I said “huh,” I meant I couldn’t hear you! What’d you say, brah?

Canada: I said I love how we’ve become best friends! And that’s all!
I failed; he’s just so strong and so loud….!

Kumajiro: Who are you?

Canada: I’m Canadia…!!

Canada: Hetalia!

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)

Liechtenstein: Ah…ah…! Oh, God… what am I going to do…? Ah…! (crying) The Depression has left my home and everything around it in tatters…! There’s not even enough food to eat… I’m so afraid… well at least it can’t get any worse, right?

[To be continued]

Translations
• Cute animals with fangs readied with poison: Uh, Switzerland? Most poisonous animals aren’t cute. Two poisonous snakes that are native to Switzerland are the common European adder and the asp viper, but I wouldn’t call these cute. Also, the asp viper, which is the one that can have fatal bites, isn’t native to Liechtenstein. The only “cute” venomous animals I could find that’s native to Liechtenstein and Switzerland are all shrews. Which I have to admit are adorable.
• Don’t take just one, because they deserve to have friends!: In Switzerland, it is illegal to keep social animals (guinea pigs, fish, etc.) solitary. Therefore, you MUST own them in pairs.
• America’s food: Haha… until watching Hetalia I had no idea that our bright colors were considered weird. Devil’s food cake is a really heavy chocolate cake, which I don’t like since I don’t like chocolate. On the other hand, angel’s food cake is a very light and fluffy white cake. So the names make sense. Devil is dark and heavy, while angel is lightly colored and light in weight.
• Grande: Big (Spanish)