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Description
Japanese People: (neighborhood chatter)
Japanese Man: (running)

Japan: Fresh milk for sale here…

[Japan and its approaching cultural enlightenment]

Japan: Tasty delicious milk… right from the cow…

(Opening)

[Japan had been shutting himself in for hundreds of years but…]

America: Japan, your lonely loner days are now over!

[The End…
of his days of shutting himself in has come.]

[Japan’s Room]

Japan’s Boss: (knock knock) Hey Japan! Get your butt out here! Monsieur France has come to pay you a visit!

Japan: I don’t want to.

Japan’s Boss: (gasp)

Japan: He probably wants to trick me into a treaty that get him a cheap electronic. And then he liberate all our women, by teaching them to wear pants.

Japan’s Boss: Hey…! If you never let anybody in, (?) to the world! How would they get anime?
(Japan: *trembling*)

Japan: I’m. Not. Coming. アウト! (Auto)

Japan’s Boss: Are you suuuure~? Monsieur France brought cute little kitty-witty with him!

Japan: Gh… ahh…

Japan’s Boss: Finally! Now hurry up and go say hi to Mr. Frenchie!

Japan: I’ll just see the kitty.

Japan: Hetalia!

Japan’s Narration: Our era of cultural enlightenment has reached its peak. Since Mr. France took time out of his busy schedule to visit us here today, I might as well try adopting his culture, by watching, and imitating.

Japanese Girl: Ah, did you see how they kissed?
(Other Japanese Girl: *laughing*)

France: Chu!

Japanese Girls: (squeals and giggles)

Japan: The things France does seem so strange to me and my simple ways… however… shall I give them a try…?
Mmmmmmmm….chu!
………….
Seriously, what am I doing?!

France: Ahhchoo! Ugh…

Japan: Ah…achoo!

France: Oh man, I’ve got a stinking head cold!

Japan: Oh, man, I’ve got a stinky head cold…

France: Huh?
Wow, this guy France is totally super cool! He’s like the best ever!

Japan: Wow, this guy France is totally super--ah...!!

France: Hetalia!

Japanese Children: (concentration) Nhhhhhhh….

Japan: Ah…? What’s wrong? Did you all eat your ice cream too fast?

Japanese Child: It’s a French thing! They call it, “clairvoyance!” Do you want to do it with us?

Japan: Nuah…!!

Japanese Child: Close your eyes, think really hard… and you can see things far away!

Japan: O….kay…? Nhhhh…

Japanese Child: Can you see anything?

Japan: Nhhhhhh…!! Ah, I can…!

Japanese Thought Man: Ah, look! I invented something called an amine styling board!

Japanese Thought Man 2: The worker likes leave it all to meeee!! (That’s what it kinda sounds like, but I have no clue. He’s talking about having to do all the work himself, I believe.)

Japanese Thought Man 3: Uhh… I’ll never be any good!

Japanese Thought Man 4: Please!! Don’t make me draw any more panties!!

Japan: Ah..!!

Japanese Child: Did you see it?!

Japan: No… I could not see…

Japanese Child: Aww…

Japan: Sorry…

Canada: Hetalia!

Canada: (sigh)… hey, Mr. Kumajiro? Why doesn’t anybody ever remember who I am…?

Kumajiro: Hmm… who are you?

Canada: I’m Canada, your owner…!

Kumajiro: Hmm… it’s hard to tell who you are! You should try to look more Canadian.

Canada: Great idea! I just have to change my appearance so it’s completely unmistakable who I am!
And that’s why I ended up tattooing a maple leaf on my forehead!

America: Yup… you sure did… hehe…

Canada: This way I’ll never be mistaken for America—augh….!!
That’s weird… did something just happen to me?

America: Hahaha! I saved you from a life of ridicule!

(Marukaite Chikyuu: America)

America: Sup dudes, I’m America. I came here to teach my new friend a game! For reals, y’all; Japan and I are homies!

Japanese Boy: Wow… a real foreigner…!

Japanese Girl: Why is he so loud…

Japan: Ah…

Children: To be continued!

Translations
• Japan’s lonely loner days are over!: In 1854, Commodore Perry forced Japan out of isolation (more on this in the black ships episode later). The Meiji Period lasted from 1868 to 1912, and was the time Japan used to modernize himself, especially his military. He also adopted western customs, such as men wearing suits and having short hair. During this period, in the early 1900s, Japan fully annexed Korea as part of Japan. So he’s definitely not a loner anymore. Japan actually modeled his military after the French one.
• Monsieur: Mister (French)
• Trick me into treaty and make girls wear pants: The treaty that Perry made Japan sign was basically forced, and after seeing what had happened to China after a series of unfair treaties, Japan wanted none of that. In the 1900s, Japan had many regulations and quotas to keep trade in his favor (nowadays it’s much more lenient). As for pants, women didn’t start wearing pants in the western world until WWI, and it wasn’t popular until the ‘70s, so there’s a bit of inaccuracy in there. Also, up until January of 2013, it was technically illegal for women to “dress like a man” (wear pants) in Paris. The law was changed in 1892 and 1909 so that it would be ok as long as they were riding a bicycle or a horse, and even though it wasn’t enforced by the time it was revoked, they just didn’t get rid of it until then.
• アウト: Out (Japanese). It’s Katakana, which is the alphabet used for foreign words, but I actually can’t find a hiragana or kanji word for just “out.” There’s “absence” and “outside,” but not just “out.” Or at least not on Google translate, but you’d expect them to be able to figure out “out.”
• Clairvoyance: The supposed faculty of perceiving things or events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact. It comes from the French words for “clear vision.” On what happened, I’m guessing Japan didn’t want to admit that being a mangaka is stressful and just wanted to enjoy the finished product.