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[1902 Anglo-Japanese Alliance Signed]

England: Ahh… I suppose that’s Mt. Fuji…! He’s a huge bugger!

Japan: It’s big… but that’s just an ordinary mountain…

(Opening)

England: I don’t get it. What on Earth is that bizarre thingy up there?

Japan: “Thingy?” Oh, that is known as Tengu’s Chair. Tengu is the spirit of an ancient monster. He likes to show up and cause much trouble.

[Tengu’s Chair: Various things, such as pine and cedar trees, rocks, etc, that it was said the Tengu would sit on to rest. It was also mentioned when people warned others, saying, “You shouldn’t climb higher than the chair (because it’d be a Tengu’s territory).”]

England: Ah…!? So he’s a bad guy…!

Japan: We are speaking of a mountain god. I do not believe referring to him as a “bad guy” is appropriate.

England: Oh… a god called Tengu, huh? Ah…? He’s waving to us! Hi!!

Japan: Ah…!

England: Hetalia!

Zashiki-Warashi: (giggling)

England: Ah…?
(Zashiki-Warashi: *still giggling*)
England: Hey Japan. Have you heard that child making so much noise?

Japan: I have not. I am sorry… how odd. I live alone, you know.

Japan’s thoughts: Strange… I’m sure it’s just the long trip. He must be hallucinating out of exhaustion.

Japan: So Britain… perhaps you should take a bath and go get some rest.

England: Hah… Japan has been acting more than a bit unusual this evening… I’m sure it’s simply a cultural difference. I hope I didn’t do anything offensive, though…
Ah…!

Kappa and Youkai: Hwaah!

Kappa: Look, a human has come here to take a bath…!!

Youkai: Sorry! We’ll leave now, sir!

England: Ah…

Kappa and Youkai: Eeeee!

England: To be honest, I don’t mind you being in the bath with me.

Kappa: Ohh… well thank you very much, “gov’na.”

England: I hate to ask this… we’ve only just met and we are naked… but could you fill me in a bit about Japanese culture?

Kappa: Sure! No one could inform you more about that particular topic than us! Right?

Youkai: Right!

Kappa: First of all, the sushi you’re familiar with was only recently created. Did you know that?

England: Really…! No, I had no idea.

Youkai: You could always check out Wiki! I’m sure they’ve nailed it!

Youkai, Kappa, and England: (laughing at that joke)

Japan: So Britain… you were in the bath quite a long time…

England: Yes… well, I was a bit distracted while chatting with the two blokes that were already in there.

Japan: What…?!

England: Well… I’m off to bed now.

Japan: Ok… goodnight, then…
…I live alone… who on Earth is he talking about?!

Japan: Hetalia!

Kappa: Excuse me! “Gov’na?”

England: Ah…

Kappa: Um… I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful evening…

England: Ah? Oh, hello fellows… ah… it was rather fun, wasn’t it? We should take a bath together again tomorrow!

Kappa: Ahaha… oh, we would love to… but we were just about to leave this area for the mountains…

England: Ah…

Kappa: You see… we were taking a bath to celebrate our last day here…

Child: Ah…? ありがとう! (Arigato)

Kappa: Long ago, although humans were afraid of us, they still believed we were real…! In a way I guess you could say we had a mutual respect for each other. But then, something changed… before we knew it, our very existence became nothing more than a silly superstition to people… we used to be able to talk to Mr. Japan too…

Youkai: Nowadays, he won’t even look at us.

England: Ah… but still… that doesn’t mean you both have to leave… does it?

Kappa: Yes…

England: Ah…

Kappa: I guess you could see we feel as if we’ve overstayed our welcome. But… it was a pleasure for us to spend our last hours here with you.

England: I see…

Kappa: Take care, “gov’na!” Nice to meet you!

England: Hey! We should still get together for a bath again someday!

Kappa and Youkai: Yes! That would be wonderful!

Zashiki-Warashi: (laughing again)

England: Ah…? Hwaah!! Uh!
Zashiki-Warashi: (laughing)

England: Ahhhh ha! You were the one making the noise! Stop right there! Hey! What are you?! Damn, you’re fast! Come back here, you little…!

Japan: Ah…! So Britain is insane…! How many times do I have to tell him I live alone…
(England: You’re not one of those little children from those horror movies, are you? Ah! AHH!)

England: GYAAAAH!!!

(Maurkaite Chikyuu: Japan)

Translations
• Anglo-Japanese alliance: The relationship between Iggy and Japan goes into more detail in a later episode, but the reason for the signing of this alliance was basically a team up against France and probably also Russia. This may be why Russia has a grudge against Iggy too. The alliance was renewed in 1905 after Japan’s success in the Russo-Japanese War, a war that was fought over who would control Manchuria (poor China). The treaty basically said that the two would be honest and frank with each other, and that should either side be involved in a war, the other would be neutral. If they got involved in a war against two or more powers, the other would assist them. Obviously, this was no longer in play during WWII.
• Zashiki-Warashi: Spirits that are childlike in nature and appearance. It is said that in order to keep one in your house, you must notice and care for it like you would a child, though too much attention may drive it away.
• Kappa: Another Japanese mythical creature. These turtle-like creatures live in rivers and their pranks vary from looking up women’s kimonos to drowning people, according to legends. There’s also the belief that kappas are extremely polite. In other tales, they actually help farmers.
• Youkai: Japanese mythical creatures in general. I called the onion headed creature “Youkai” because I didn’t have a better word for it.