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Cat: MREEOOWWWW!!

America: Ah??

England: Huh?
China: EH?!
(Cat: Meow!! Meow!!)

Russia: Ah?
France: Ah…
(Cat: Meow!! Meow!!)

Pictonians: Blub?! Blub?!
(Cat: Meow!! Meow!!)

Cat: Meowwww… meow meow! Meow!!
Germany: Ow!! Nein!! Stop it with the scratching!! Argh! Ow!! Not my (?)!! Stop it!! I will (??) on you!!
(Japan: Please! Calm down! This is not going to end up well for us…)

Germany: Guaaaaahh!!

Japan: Hwoaaah! Ah…

Italy: Hwaaa!

Germany: Ahh… g-gh..!!

Japan: Nh… ah...!
(Cat: Meow!)

Italy: Oh…h-waaaaa…

England: Welcome to the party. Thanks for nothing.

China: You could not have picked worse place to fall at moment!

America: Hahaha! At least they stopped them for a sec! Now we can all die together!

Liechtenstein: What do you think?

Switzerland: I think… it tastes like sandwich.

Liechtenstein: Thank you; I’m glad you like it.

Liechtenstein: Hetalia!

(From episode 3)

Italy: Hey Germany, come listen; I wrote a song especially for you!

Germany: What? Even though I’m your enemy? Ok, let me hear it…

Italy: ♪Germany! Germany! Germany is a really really nice place! Even though I’m your prisoner you give me food, and it doesn’t suck like English food! Sausages with cheeses always taste so good! It’d be heaven for a dog… yeah that’s Germany! Tel l me, how is it that you Germans are so robust? You’re crushing me with your intimidation! My fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear… your women terrify me! Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody’s head? Please don’t come to my place in large mobs… German tourists are scary! Even the girls that are from Germany are more rugged than I am. Yahoo~!♪

Italy’s Boss: Welcome home, Italy.

Germany: Hetalia!

(From episode 13)

Italy: Ahhhahahahaha! That was great, Germany!

England: Damn them both! If I wasn’t bested by that [beep!] German blitzkrieg again!!
Hehe… I let them beat me without much of a fight this time. But next time won’t be so easy. They don’t know it, but… I still have a top secret weapon left. More powerful than conventional bombs, even.
Gentlemen, it is time to attack with black magic!

Gentlemen: Ooohh…

England: Hahahahaha! Germany will learn the power of the dark side, which fears no man- huh?!

America: Britain! What are you doing?

England: I say! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!

Gentleman: Where did you put the eye of newt?

England: Hetalia!

England: Dammit! Since I was interrupted before, I’ll do it at my place this time! Our family’s magic is number one in the world! You’re no match for me! Stupid America! Santa Rita Mita Meada… Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin… Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer! Santa Rita Mita Meada… Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin… Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer! I have summoned you from the depths of hell. SHOW YOURSELF!!!

Russia: You called?

England: …..n…nn…n… I wasn’t calling you!!

Russia: Hetalia!

(From episode 48)

Italy: Hey, hey Germany! What are you doing?? Can we go play football, can we??

Germany: Nein; I’m reading.

Italy: But it’s so pretty outside! Let’s go play football!

Germany: Agh… hh…

Italy: Hey~ Germany~ play football, Germany~ heyyy~ football Germanyyy~ Germany, football~

Germany: Are you wanting me to gas you!?

Italy: Ah…

Italy: Hetalia!

(From episode 34)

Tōgō Heihachirō: Hey Japan, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Japan: I’m cooking potatoes in broth along with fresh mountain vegetable.

Tōgō: I had some beef stew at Britain’s house once. Can we have that instead?

Japan: What?? You want me to make British food? But it is so bland!

Tōgō: Thanks! I knew you’d do it!

Japan: What kind of fool want food from Britain when they could have something delicious I make. I can make better stew than Britain! I have the finest palette in the world! I am not certain how to make, but it will be better than anything from that tasteless island! Let me see, I will need beef, potato, a carrot… what else… a noodle! Soy sauce to make brown… wait, this doesn’t look right!!
Sir, stew is complete…!

Tōgō: See? I knew you could do it!

Japan: I apologize if it is not correct.

[This is the dish later known as nikujaga.]
Male Narrator: This is the dish later known as nikujaga.

Japan and Tōgō: Nom nom nom…

Japan: I love it!

[Big Discovery!!]

Tōgō: Delicious!

England: (jealous rage)

[Nikujaga]

Japan: Hetalia!

Japan: We are left with no other chance at this point! Please listen, Pictonians! We have come here today to show you our hospitality!

Russia, France, Germany, America: Huh?
(Cat: Meow?)

Italy, England, China: Huh?

Japan: Calm down. Just think about it for a moment, really careful. It may be true that they have come to Earth to invade it, but on the other hand, they are still our guests, are they not? It’s Japanese custom to be hospitable! No, it is humanity custom to be hospitable! Now then! I think we should hold reception for Pictonians!

Russia: Hold what?! He’s kidding!

France: He has to be...

Germany: No way...!

Italy: Cool...?

England: Ok...?

China: I do not think this is best idea...

America: Y’know, nothing else is working, so we might as well give ‘er a shot! Ahhhahahahahahaha! Ahhhahahahahahahahaha! Ahhahahahahahahahahaaa!

Pictonians: ?

街華中[Chinatown]
热烈歡迎 [A Warm Welcome]

China: If you want to have big reception, just leave it all to me!

Man on Left: Meatbun!
Man on Right: Shumai!

China: Tada! You go ahead and eat as much as you want to!

England: How did you manage to build a Chinatown on a spaceship in five seconds?!

Pictonians: Blublubnomnomblublubnomnom…

China: Well? Do you love it? There is plenty to go around so keep eating! No worry!

Italy: Sì! Aaaaah—

Germany: That is not for you!!

Italy: Aw…

Chinese people: (doing things that shouldn’t be possible)

Pictonians: Blublublublublublub… (clapclapclap)

China: Aw, thanks! I hope this is a fun time for you! So you Pictonians enjoying yourselves?

Pictonians: Fwoosh… we don’t know.

China: That is wonderful! I had feeling you would!

Allies and Axis: Ah?!

China: Wait… you don’t… know…? But, um… you are liking the food, aren’t you?

Pictonians: We don’t know.

China: Aiyah…

[Crushing Defeat]

France: Allons~! It is my turn to show you what true hospitality means! I never leave a guest unsatisfied. Now, enjoy! Mwa~! I have for you a full course from a five star restaurant, and served with the finest French wines.

Italy: Sì!

Germany: Nein! That is not for you either!
(Italy: Uwaa!! U-ah! Ahh!!)

Pictonians: Blublubnomnomblublubnomnom…

France: Tell me the truth! S’il vous plaît, you love it, am I right?

Pictonians: We don’t know.

France: Pourquoiiii!?!?!

[Defeated]

Russia: Yes. I would like to be going now. Don’t let me down.

Baltic Trio: Yes, sir… we’ll… try… sir…

Latwa: Wahh…
Estonia: Wahh…
Lithuania: Gahh…

Baltic Trio: Honestly, we’re not finding this very entertaining for anybody…

Russia: You like it… да~? (Da)

Everyone else: Duah! Ehehehehe…
(Baltic Trio: {crying})

Pictonians: We don’t know.

Baltic Trio: Time for twirling away… (crying)

Russia: Почему? (Pochemu) Почему? Почему? Почему?

Germany: Alright. You can have a taste of my hospitality, then!
Ahhhh… well… hello…! This is an especially good German beer we like to drink where I am from, so… I… hope that you like it…! Ahhhahahhhh

Germany’s thoughts: I don’t like this…!

Pictonian: ?

Germany: Gh!

America: Yo, dude! You look nervous, bro!
Hello, ladies and gentlemen! And! Hello to you Pictonian dudes too! When humans think the word hospitality, they all think about me because I know how to have a good time! Check it out!

Bunny Ladies: Heeheehee!

Pictonians: Blublublublublub… we don’t know we don’t know we don’t know we don’t know… we don’t know… we don’t know…! We don’t know…!!

Bunny Ladies: Mwa!

Pictonian: I’m not sure…

Pictonians: We don’t know we don’t know we don’t know…!

Italy: Hey! I want to say it too! I’m not sure either! I’m not sure! I’m not sure!

America: Rad! Things are like totally starting to get exciting for reals! Now all I gotta do is allow them into the V.I.P. and let them win like crazy, give ‘em tickets to the shows, then before they know it, I’ll trick ‘em into signing this rockin’ peace treaty!

[Peace Treaty
That we, Pict Star,
Will have close connections with the Earth!!] (this is basically what it means)

(America: Ah?)
Japan: Not yet. It’s still far too early for that. We have not yet successfully buttered them up enough. A treaty is premature. Let me give a try! Because I am known throughout the world for incredible festivals.

America: Sure…! Go for it, dude..!

Translations
• Shumai: A pork dumpling served as dim sum
• Allons: Come on (French)
• S’il vous plait: Please (French)
• Pourquoi: Why (French)
• The ballet: Well, I think everyone recognizes it, but just in case, it’s Swan Lake, by Tchaikovsky. He’s like my favorite composer.
• Почему (Pochemu): Why (Russian)