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Japan: Hm…

Greece: Hmmm…
Hey.

Japan: Hm.

Greece: I was thinking. You don't really get angry, do you. So does that make you constipated? At all?

Japan: Yes it does. I have a hard time with anger.

Greece: Well then. I'll do it with you. Come on. We can get mad at things together.

Japan: Ah…

(Opening)

Greece: Nnnnnnn… nnn…

Imaginary Turkey: HuahaHAhahahahahahahaha!

Japan: Nn…

Greece: Nnn…
(Imaginary Turkey: Hahahahahahahaha!
Imaginary Turkey 2: HyeHAAhaha!)

Japan: Nnyyhh…
Regrettable.

Greece: Ohh. Was that… anger?

Japan: It was. I was unbelievably furious.

Greece: Hetalia!

Chibiromano: You jerk! Leave-a me alone! Hmmph.

Narrator: Spain was worried sick about Romano travelling home for three days all alone, so he decided to secretly follow him. Like a stalker! But on his way, he quite literally bumped into France, who apparently has a thing for Italian boys.
(Spain: Look at all that danger out there waiting to kill you!!
Chibiromano: If I said I'll be fine, I'll be fine!
Spain: I'll follow him until he gets to his home. Mm… mh! Oh! Pardon me! Ah?)

France: Oh hon! Oh honhonhon! Oh honhonhonhonhonhonhon!

Chibiromano: Spain the boss, and Chibi Romano.

[Boss Spain and Chibi Romano]

Spain: Just give it up, France! You've failed four times already!!
(France: Uwaauaauaauaa!)

France: But I want Italy, please Spain! You misunderstand me!
(Spain: Hrrrrrr!)

Spain: I do not!

Chibiromano: Huh? Uwa!!
(France: Well, maybe not but still!)

Spain: Seriously, how many times do I have to kick your ass before you get it!
(France: Uwaauauauaua!)

Chibiromano: Gyehh!!

Spain: Romano!!

France: Ohh…

Chibiromano: Huaaahhh!

Spain: Ah… ahhh…

Chibiromano: (pant pant) Spain is such a freak! I can't believe he was following me!! What is this, the Inquisition? Why doesn't he get off my back! Hmph!

Chibiromano's thoughts: Big surprise, ah? He's probably after Grandpa's inheritance just like everybody else. I can't blame them, though. (Sigh) the only thing I have is that stupid cashola. It doesn't matter what I do. I'll never be as good as Veneziano. Take yesterday. I was just trying to clean, ah? And I knocked the bookshelf over before I could even start.
(Chibiromano: Huh? Huah!!)

[Argh!]

Chibiromano's thoughts: I can't draw, and I suck at business. My little brother has always been better than me at that stuff. I can't do anything right. On top of all that, I don't look anything like Grandpa! I might as well quit trying.

Bird: Chirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirp!

Chibiromano: Ah!

Bird: ChirpchirpCHIRP! ChirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpCHIRP! CHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRP…

Chibiromano: Huh?? Hey! Are you laughing at me!? Who are you to judge; you're just a bird! I'm serious, stop doing that right now you jerk! Screw you and your chirping!!

Bird: Chirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirp!

[The difference between Northern Italy and Southern Italy]

Narrator: Northern Italy and Southern Italy have two very different personalities. Northern Italy was the most talented, so he was naturally Grandpa Rome's favorite. He had the benefits of Renaissance culture on which to thrive. On the other hand, Southern Italy has spent his time pacifying tourists and farming like he was a third world country. Some people say he hasn't changed in a thousand years, and they don't mean it as a compliment. Apparently poor equals pasta and tomatoes. However, Southern Italy seems to be cheerful in spite of the whole "should be bitter towards Northern Italy" thing. Northern Italy is gentle, nonchalant, and just conservative enough to be charming. Southern Italy is what they call easygoing. I call it lazy with no ambition.

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on China)

France: Urrrrgh! Dammit, Spain is acting too cocky lately! So, that's it!! I'm calling in the sexy cavalry!! Pierre, attack!!!

Pierre: Waaaaa! Chirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirp… chirp… chirpchirp.

[Continued Next Episode…]

Translations

• Japan and Greece: It's not unique to the episode or anything, but the official DVD's notes talk about how the two signed the Treaty of Amity, Commerce, and Navigation in 1899 and became good friends ever since (save a brief interlude of not talking to each other during WWII. They went right back to being friends afterwards). They're pretty in love with each other's cultures and histories, and in 1999 they celebrated their 100-year anniversary!
• Greece and Turkey: Don't you hate it when your masked neighbor laughs maniacally at your suffering? Anatolia (the peninsula that Turkey now occupies) had, historically, been a pain in Greece's butt ever since the Hellenistic period, what with the Persian Wars, in which Persia attempted to take control over the Greek city states. By the way, this war was when the Battle of Thermopylae, which inspired the movie The 300 Spartans. Continuing from there, the Ottoman Empire (1299-1923), which as a region was politically not Turkey but heavily dominated by Turkish rule, had control over Greece. Greece won his independence in 1829.
Turkey also killed his mother, which personally wouldn't sit well with me either. When the Roman Empire split in 285, the eastern half was ruled through Constantinople. This was eventually called the Byzantine Empire, as it existed for a considerably long time following the fall of Western Rome. In an early Drama CD, Greece's mother was referred to as the Byzantine Empire; it also claims that Turkey had feelings for her before conquering Constantinople and killing her in 1453. It seems that the 400-pleat fustanella found in old Greek military uniforms is a commemoration of the 400 years of Ottoman rule.
• The Inquisition: The Spanish Inquisition (Tribunal of the Holy Office of the Inquisition) was a period beginning in the late 1400s during the reign of Ferdinand and Isabella that basically said "if you're not Catholic please become Catholic or otherwise please leave." It was intended to regulate and keep an eye of Jews and Muslims who lived in Spain, keeping an eye out for heresy. Prior to this, Spain was actually quite tolerant towards other religions, and there are a couple hypotheses as to why this changed. I'm partial towards the idea that the newly united monarchy wanted to consolidate their power through analogous law enforcement and cultural similarity. However "keeping the Pope in check" is certainly a fun hypothesis too.
It's estimated that 2-3% of those who were prosecuted during the 3 centuries of Inquisitorial influence were executed, and recently suspicions have risen that the "ruthless and pervasive murder spree" nature of the Inquisition may have been anti-Catholic propaganda. Nevertheless, nowadays "what is this, the Inquisition?" is a phrase that suggests that someone is prying into your personal life far too much.
• Grandpa's inheritance sure looks tasty: Rome may have died, but he sure did leave a lot behind, including countless ruins and an entire road system, a fascinating culture and language, and whispers of having politically being part of the Roman Empire at one point. Middle Age Europe was OBSESSED with being the Roman Empire, to the point where for a considerable time every nation swore up and down that they were Rome. Latin was the language of prestige, and for a really long time religious texts were only in that language. Holy Rome is a good example of insisting you're Rome. Italy was a very popular target for conquest attempts because control of Rome was another reason to call yourself Rome 2.0. France, Spain, Britain, the Ottoman Empire, Italy himself, and even Switzerland joined the HRE in the fight to call yourself Roman.
• Cashola: Money (slang). Romano's basically saying he's a wealthy trophy child
• Dammit my brother is so much better than me at literally everything: In the 15th century AD, Venice, Naples, Milan, and Florence were some of the largest cities in Europe, which gave the Italian peninsula a lot of economic weight. North Italy then invented banking, which is a fancy way to not need to carry physical money around to have access to it and therefore not get robbed. Protected from being mugged, Italy's wealth grew, and the Renaissance was able to begin. The classical languages, science, math, medicine, philosophy, and various art forms were all skills that North Italy boasted. South Italy also studied these skills, but the majority of the educated Renaissance Italians were from the North. Romano was also hindered by France, Spain, and the Ottoman Empire fighting over him constantly. However, Romano's food is more famous, with pizza and mozzarella and some of the most popular pasta shapes. Also, apparently South Italy wanted to be a monarchy, but the pro-republic North got his way instead.
TL;DR: Everyone fought over Romano so the Renaissance occurred at a much smaller scale.
• Pierre: Pierre may be a reference to Pierre Terrail LeVieuz, seigneur de Bayard?? He was a French soldier who fought a lot of battles in France and Spain's squabble over Italy. Apparently he was a super cool dude. Didn't expect that to be an actual person.