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Description
[Orders]

Germany's Boss: This letter contains your next mission, so please read it carefully. It's important.

[Orders]

Germany's thoughts: Why doesn't he just tell me right now? I'm standing right here! Usually when they do this it's because I'm getting some Scheiße job.

[Take Austria into your care at your place. (It's ok to beat him!)]

Germany's Boss' Voice: We need you to watch Austria at your place for a while, or maybe forever. But it's ok to beat him snotless!

Germany: You can't be serious! There's no way I will see him and not kill him!

Germany's Boss: Germany! This is an order from your superior! And he is one mean strudel pancake.
(Germany: Duagh…. Argh… Dghhhh!)

(Opening)

Italy: Germanyyyy!

Germany: N..ah…

Italy: I don't want you to take over Austria because then you'll like him best and I won't be your Number One anymore!

Germany: I have no choice; Herr Mustache ordered it! Now back off und stay to the right!

Italy: No, Germany! Please! Don't do this to me! Huwawawahh…

Hungary: He's right! Besides, Austria's way too pretty for you anyway!

Germany: Let go of me this instant, you swines! Yyyyagh!
(Italy and Hungary: Uhhhhh!!)

Germany: Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your only choice, Austria, is to submit to my manliness!

Austria: Nh... hm?
I love the hard way. But I suppose I could just submit to you.

Germany: Eugh…
Italy: Nn?

Narrator: Italy and Hungary were worried for Austria, but Austria, being the semi-freak that he is, decided he would roll over like a sweet little Wienerschnitzel. That word is almost as fun as swizzle stick!

[Imposing]
[Freeloading Noble]
[After this and that, they started living together.]

Austria: Mmh~

Germany: Ah…a..rrgh.

Austria: Hetalia!

(Spain: Just give it up, France! You've failed four times already!) (France: Uwaaawaawa!)
(Chibiromano: Ah! Uwaaah!)
Narrator: When Romano found out that Spain was stalking him, he freaked out and ran away. He was fine at first, because he found a sweet pond, but then he started to realize he was kind of a loser and most people were only friends with him because of his inheritance. Poor guy, his tiny little feelings got hurt.
(Chibiromano: Nhhhrnhnhnh.)

Spain and Chibiromano: Spain the boss, and Chibi Romano.

[Boss Spain and Chibi Romano]

Bird: CHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHRIP!

Chibiromano: Ah! Ah…!

Bird: CHACHAH! CHACHAH! CHACHAH! CHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRP!

Chibiromano: Jerk! What's-a his problem!!
Hnnhhh…

Chibiromano's thoughts: Well this was a brilliant plan… what am I supposed to do now?

Chibiromano: Ah…!
Ah!!

Sword: (shing)

Chibiromano: HUAAAH! What's the big idea; you nearly chopped my arm off! Ah!

Turkey: Huahahahahahaha! If I had intended the death of Romano, I would not have missed, I assure you.
(Chibiromano: Hh…)

Chibiromano: Look here, Princess Jasmine! I am not afraid of your devil eyes!

Spain: I am not kidding this time! Where the heck did Romano go?! It's dangerous for him to be all alone!

Chibiromano: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH…

Birds: (flying away)

(Chibiromano: …HHHHHHhhhhhh…)
Spain: Ah? Wait… that is Romano! Ah! No, Romano!! I'm cominggg!!!

[Boss Spain and Chibi Romano]
[To be continued]

Spain: Hetalia!

Austria: Ah.

Germany: Hmm?

Austria: My throat is a little scratchy. Would you get some tea for me?

Germany: You will make your own damn tea!

Austria: You don't have to spit. You could try asking me nicely.
(Germany: Ah…)

Germany: Uhh?

Austria: I'll just see what Italy's doing. Ah-!
Germany: Here!

Germany: Nrrrrrgh.

Austria: You know, it would be even better if I could have some snacks with my tea.
Germany: I am not your slave! In my house you'll make your own food, or starve to death!

Austria: It's no big deal. I shall apply my creative genius to hors d'oeuvres pomplefomfomfom.

Germany: Fine, whatever floats your boats.

Austria: (humming) Mmhmm..

Germany: Nhh? Nhhh…

Austria: Hohh. That's done. Ok until the cake is finished baking I might as well see what Italy is doing right now.

Germany: Hold on just a minute. I might have some extra cupcakes.

[Freeloading Noble]

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on France)

Translations
• Scheiße: Shit (German). This was a missed opportunity, because Scheißjob is "shit job"
• Taking Austria into Germany's care: This event is the famous Anschluss, the annexation of Austria into Nazi Germany. Up to this point, there was a considerable level of popular support in both Austria and Germany to unite the two nations. Austria had tried to move in with Germany following WWI, but the triple entente decided "no fuck that and also stop calling yourself German-Austria." It's hypothesized that Austria would have probably joined Germany anyway, but Austrian Nazis started a terrorist campaign and the idea lost its popularity as a result. Germany stated that he was going to leave Austria alone, but then decided he wanted a piece of those sweet iron deposits. Austria was supposed to have a vote about the matter, but Chancellor Schuschnigg resigned before it could happen and Germany took over without bloodshed.
• Italy doesn't want Germany to do it: In truth, Italy was actually worried that he would become TOO popular with Germany. To put it shortly, Mussolini was afraid that if Germany and Austria unified as one nation, Germany's next course of action would be to demand the return of the Italian territory the Austrian Empire once held. Meaning, Italy saw Austrian annexation as a threat to his own independence. One German official stated that they would go through with the annexation of Austria even if it meant losing the alliance with Italy. Obviously, this didn't happen, and Germany promised to not ask for any Italian territory.
• Neither does Hungary: Hungary's opinion was basically more that of "Austria's nonchalant attitude about this is very worrying." On the one hand, Hungary wasn't very happy about the post-WWI treaty either, so bending its rules was beneficial to her as well. However, on the other hand, there was a threat of "maybe I'm next," similar to that of Italy's. Hungary and Italy started cooperating quite a bit in wake of their technically-friend-but-he's-getting-kinda-scary Germany.
• Wienerschnitzel: I don't think it's unknown but I want to mention how EVERYWHERE schnitzel is in Austria. When I was in Vienna a store specializing in it was on every commercial street. A lot of the places were definitely their own interpretation of fast food. It was kind of surreal, haha.
• Swizzle Stick: A stick used to stir drinks. It seems to be able to make still drinks frothy and bubbly drinks less bubbly.
• Turkey attacks!: At this time, Turkey was the head honcho in the Ottoman Empire, which I go into more detail about next episode, because the episode itself does too. The Ottomans were an incredibly powerful force in the Mediterranean, only rivalled by Venice and Spain, and historically they bullied Europe a lot. Anyway, Turkey and France were becoming close enough at this time, so basically Spain's fighting off France gave Turkey a legitimate reason to show up. South Italy was in a strategic position for Turkey, because it would help to connect the Balkan territories with the North African ones. This takes place during one of the Italian Wars; my guess is 1536, since that was the first one Turkey participated in and they all seemed pretty surprised by his appearance.
• I'll see what Italy's up to: It's never mentioned properly, which makes this entire section really confusing, but at this time Germany is under the impression that Italy hates Austria for their previous military conflicts, including the Italian territories that were still under Austria's control at the time of the strip.
• Hors d'oeuvres pomplefomfomfom: This means absolutely nothing, do not fret. Also, Austria bakes a cake which I'm pretty sure does not qualify as an hors d'oeurve in any way. It's an appetizer. An antipasto. I don't know any other way to say it but the roll cake he makes is not an appetizer.