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[In order to make good products in Northern Europe]

Finland: Hm hm hm hm… hmmm~

[Finns should do the planning and design]

Finland: Ok dog, what do you think about this?

Hanatamago: Arf!

[Oh my <3]

Sweden: (construction grunts)

[Swedes should manufacture the product]

[Make it look like this!
Please make it cute]

[Now on Sale]
[Lisa]
[Heks Historie]

Denmark: Brand new, just got these in! How many would you like to buy?

[Danes should sell]

Denmark: Come on, you know you want them!

(Denmark: I'll make a special price just for you! Limited time offer!)
Norway: The product is decent enough, but that salesman is annoying as hell.

Denmark: How many was that?

[And Norwegians nitpick]

Iceland: Nom! Nomnomnom…

Mr. Puffin: (slurp slurp)

Iceland: Hm… Surprised? Well what did you expect?
(Mr. Puffin: Hueeh?)

(Opening)

Germany: Eh! Ahh. I am much more exhausted than usual today. Guess I'm not used to being so hard on Japan.

German Soldier: Germany! You look awful, man! Have a beer; that will help!

Germany: Hey, you know what? That does sound good! I think I will have one!

Tomato: CRUNCH

Germany: Aijyhahh! A… ahh… hhhhh… ahghh…

Japan: (determined munching)

Germany: No. Thank you, but… give it to my big brother instead.

German Soldier: Ah!!
(German Soldiers: What?!)

Germany: Hetalia!

German Soldier: Guys, we are in trouble! Germany just told me he didn't want beer!
(German Soldiers: Huh?)

German Soldiers: Whaaat?!
(General commotion) The world is coming to an end!

Prussia: Calm down, freaks! He und I share the same awesome blood, which is made of beer! No way Germany turned it down! I'll check on him und show you. Watch und see, losers!
(German Soldiers: Ah?)

Prussia: Hey, brohas!

Germany: Hmm?

Prussia: Rumor has it you're not drinking beer; what's that about? Hahahahahahahahaha! Did someone threaten you? How fun.
(Gilbird: {still being a demon creature from hell after all this time})

Germany: Don't take it personal, but could you please stay away from me with that?

Prussia: Euahh…!
But today's beer is better than it normally is! Come on! You at least have to have a taste!

Germany: No, please, I can't even look at it, just… go away!!

Prussia: DUAA…!
Wait! How can you turn down a perfectly good beer?! BEER! BEER! Don't try to deny it. Nope, it's beer. Your favorite thing in the whole world!
Ok stop it… now you're really starting to freak me out…! I can't take itttt!
(Slurp) If you don't drink any, I'll have to make a new rule! One that will have you running through the streets naked!
I can't believe that didn't work on you! You hate all things that are nudey and fun!
(GULP GULP)

Germany: Go away. Just leave me alone—

Prussia: PFFFFFFFFFFFT! Germany's refusing to drink beer! Ahhhahahahahaha! Aaaaahahahaha! Haaaahahahaha! Oh my god! Haha!
(Germany: DhhrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR!)

Prussia: You know, part of why I'm so awesome is because I drink beer! The awesome taste of this stuff almost brings awesome tears to my awesome eyes. Yeah. It's so true. I love it. (This one's salty though.)

Children: Japan and America!

[Japan and America]

[Matsuda Books]

America: Uh..

[Let's go to Kyoto]

[Hero! Mysterious Guy!]

America: Hey, Japan dude? You're saying "ah" again.

Japan: That's ok, America. You always say "oh," and don't get me started on "dude."

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on Germany)

Germany: (Determined munching)

Japan: (also determined munching)
You know, Mr. Germany… it is not necessary for you to join me in this endeavor.

Germany: It is. I was the one who started it, und I will be with you until the very end.

[To be continued]

Translations
• The basis behinds the Nordic joke: Apparently it's because Finland is famous for its modern designers, like Marimekko and Iittala Meanwhile, Sweden transformed himself into an industrial power following WWII, and also started IKEA, where you assemble the furniture yourself. Danish ads are edgy??? Or Danes are just friendly, the DVD can't decide. For Norway, it says he nitpicks because he prefers to just chill with nature why other people do the work, but I don't know how legit that one is. Iceland watches from a distance because he is very far away.
• Heks Historie: Witch Story (Danish)
• How many was that?: I think this is a joke from the translation. Norway originally says something that ends in 「やかましい」 (yakamashii, noisy), which I guess sounds a little like 「百万」(hyakuman, one million).
• Brohas: Dude (American slang)