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Description
Austria: Hmmng.

[Austria's Freeloader Series]
[Morning and a Noble]

Narrator: Morning and a Noble.

Germany: (groan) I guess I can thank Italy the Idiot for another terrible day.

(crash)

Germany: Ddyeugh!

Austria: Euughheughhheugeugehhehghh…
You saw nothing!!

[A Noble's Pride]

(Opening)

[Austria's Freeloader Series]
[Pushy Noble]

Narrator: Pushy Noble.

Austria: It was all your fault, you know.

Germany: Quit blaming others! Take the responsibility for once! For a disgusting freeloader you sure are acting self-righteous.

(Germany: Dh!)
Austria: Please shut your big mouth and listen to these words a great man from my country left us. Ahem. (dramatic pause as the wind blows and the sky is blue) "For all of its wretchedness, my life was a princely one. The colonel of this life of mine, nobility." Ludwig van Beethoven.

Germany: Mmm… gh-hh! First of all, that was barely even Hesse and both of them were German!

Austria: Beethoven? He was Austrian! Was Hesse a German?

Austria: Hetalia!

Germany: Selfish prick! I withstood your boss! Don't take away my good things!

Austria: Would you kindly stop pulling my Mariazell!

[Mariazell]

Germany: Now, you will kindly stop stealing great German composers!

Austria: Listen. I hate to break it to you but he was Austrian. Beethoven would count 60 beans to make his coffee every day; he was serious! That means he must be from Austria!

France: Boing! We could just say that he was from France!

Germany: Ah-…

Austria: Ah…

France: ……hyep! All the real talent comes from France…

[These two are fighting over Mozart, too.]

France: Hetalia!

France: Nhh.. ehhyehhh…

Germany: Why are you here, cheese eater?!

France: Pptouh! Well, to take sexy pictures. I mean, Britain. For him. It is espionage. But! You are too late, my darlings. I have already taken pictures of this entire episode!

Picardy: I finished developing the photos from Mr. France's camera.

Austria: Oh my. It looks like someone needs a spanking.

Germany: Do it.

France: No, you've got it all wrong! Blame Britain!! Hyeaaaaaaugh!! Ohh~.

France: Hetalia!

[Nekotalia]
[If the world was made up of cats…]

Italy-cat: Ve-meow!

Japan-cat: Hey, what is the matter?

Germany-cat: Hm? Oh. Hey, Japan-cat. You want to know what's the matter? This guy, that's what!

Italy-cat: Meow!! Germany-cat is squashing me because I might have touched his balls!

Germany-cat: Nein!

Japan-cat: Ah… well that would upset anyone!

Germany-cat: Drrrrghh… damn Itie. Don't ever do that again!

Italy-cat: Ve-meow, okie dokie.

Japan-cat's thoughts: Germany-cat is always so quick to forgive others. I like that quality about him.

Italy-cat: Phew, that was a close one! Alrighty then, I think I'll go over there and play for a little while! Ehehe! Meow!

Germany-cat: Go. Und make it a long while.

Japan-cat: Watch out for bicycles, Italy-cat!

[Nekotalia]
[If the world was made up of cats…]

Italy-cat: Ve-meow!
Germany-cat: Meow.
Japan-cat: Meow.

Germany-cat: Well, I suppose I can go back to my break now.
Meow? Why don't you join me, Japan-cat? One break won't kill you.

Japan-cat: I am a 24-hour service cat, so, it's not about me.

Italy-cat: Meowwww.

Germany-cat and Japan-cat: Hmm?

Italy-cat: Hey cutie, I like your bow! Are you a magic mushroom, because you're making me grow! You wanna come have some tuna with me? I have some catnip too! What do you say, BABY—AADEGH!

Germany-cat: DRRGH!

Japan-cat: こんにちわ (konnichiwa), I am Japan-cat. I enjoy sensing the mood and refraining from speaking.

Italy-cat: Me-owww…

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on America)

Translations
• Hermann Hesse: The author of Steppenwolf, a widely successful novel published in 1927, and where this quote comes from. He was having a crisis when he wrote it, and he was upset that people only focused on the suffering in the novel while ignoring the chance for healing. I haven't read it, but the DVD notes say that the protagonist thought very highly of both composers mentioned here.
• Was Hesse German: Yes, although he was also a Swiss citizen.
• Mariazell: Mariazell is a small city in the Alps of East-Central Austria, famous for being a pilgrimage site for Catholics who come to see the lime-tree carving of the Virgin Mary, thought to be able to work miracles, that resides there. Austria's little hair curl represents it. It's got a population of under 1500 (c. 2016), so it must be really quaint!
• Is Beethoven German or Austrian: Beethoven was born in Bonn, in the Electorate of Cologne in what is now Germany. Eventually, he moved to Vienna and established a career as a composer there. He remained in Vienna until his death. So the question is, is he German because he was born there? Or is he Austrian because that's where he lived and worked for most of his life?
• Counting 60 beans: It seems that this is true?? At least anecdotally. Beethoven was so particular about his coffee that he hand counted 60 beans per day. I don't know much about coffee, but that seems strong.
• Let's just say he's from France: Apparently France was a big fan of him because he admired the ideals of the French Revolution, and some of his middle period/"heroic" phase (works such as Symphony No. 3 Eroica and Sonata No. 21 Waldstein) were influenced by that.
• So what about Mozart: Mozart was born in Salzburg, now in Austria but then part of the Holy Roman Empire. Although like Beethoven he did some of his most famous work in Vienna, he considered the Holy Roman Empire to be "Germany, [his] beloved fatherland." So while Beethoven is up for grabs because Beethoven changed nations, Mozart is up for grabs because Salzburg changed nations.
• Picardy: It's never mentioned explicitly that it's him, but the designs and association with photography in the franchise are both present. Picardy is a historical territory in northern France, now part of the Hauts-de-France region.
• Itie: A term meaning Italian. Not very nice, and also pronounced wrong here I'm pretty sure.