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Description
England: (panting and other noises of discomfort)

[Britain has caught a cold]

(Opening)

(England: {panting and other noises of discomfort})
France: Oh honhonhon! That is what you get for being so stupid, as well as a nice bouquet!
Huh?
What? Is he for real? Perhaps he tells the truth, no? Friend, I shall be right back! Rrgh, yah! Here! Do not worry! I doubt it’s the plague...!

England: Ghh… as do I… but you should probably still leave just in case…

France: Oui, Britain… you know what?

England: Really? Do you have a cold… as well? Nh…

France: UWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Do not touché your sexual powers with me! Ahhahahahhhhh!!!!

France: Hetalia!

Lithuania: Nmmm… nhhh… uwaa... nh...

[That night, Lithuania dreamed of the day he separated from Poland.]

Russia: Hooray! I have won it again! Russia is the best in all of the world!

Lithuania: Damn you… Russia…!

Russia: Huh? Hey. I like you, Lithuania, so you may stay at my place if you would like to.

Lithuania: What…?!

Russia: I am joking; you do what I say because I win!
I wish you saw your face when I made the joke. Hilarious!

Lithuania: I don’t want to go… no!! Poland, help!! Please, wake up!!

Poland: Nh… ah…

Lithuania: Poland, I’m needing the helps! He’s taking me away!! WAHH!!

Poland: I wish you could see your face right now; it is hilarious~!

Lithuania: (wakes up) Guah…! POLAND YOU ARE A TRAITOR AND A BAD FRIENNNDDDD!!!!

Estonia: Why are you yelling?!

Latvia: Stop yelling!!

Baltic Trio: Hetalia!

[Upright Lithuania was worried by last night’s dream, so he’s calling Poland again…]

Poland: Ya?

Lithuania: Hi, this is Lithuania! Have you perhaps started getting ready yet?

Poland: Riiiiight, yeah of course right. Yeah I am all over the getting ready for things.

Lithuania: Good, talk about a relief! I was so worried last night… I even had nightmare!

Poland: I figured that I could put an engine on my place and then fly it on over to help you! Riiiighteouuus!!

Lithuania: Wowwww… you are such an oaf…

Poland: Then! I will drop my place where you are like “bam!”

[BAM!]
[P]

Lithuanian Citizens: (scream)

Lithuania: What?! Why would you want to squash me?! Also, it would never work!!

Poland: Hetalia!

Poland: Actually, this will work; I double checked yesterday, so please! Try not to wet yourself out of your feet.

Lithuania: Ah…?
(Russia: Heavens to the Betsy! What strange and terrifying news is this?!)

Lithuania: Excuse me just a brief moment, please…! Ahh… dghh…

Estonia and Latvia: So… is everything alright… Russia, sir?

[Tremble] [Nervous]

Russia: I do not think so; this letter is filled with horrifying news!

(Demonic laughter)

[Chain Letter: Within 3 days of reading this letter, forward this same letter to at least 3 other people. If you don’t, Warsaw will become your capital.
Name withheld by request, Warsaw, Poland]

Russia: It says Warsaw will become our capital!

Lithuania: Ahhhhh…
Nhhhhh…

Latvia: Uhhh…

Estonia: Euhh…

Lithuania: Nnn…

Poland: You see? He cannot forward the chain letter! He does not have any friends!

Lithuania: That is true… but you are forgetting he happens to have plenty of subordinates…

Baltic Trio: Hetalia!

Lithuania: Nhh… if he keeps this up… Poland will not have freedom… he’d end up like me…

Poland: (laugh) You pussy! You got ass whipped by Russia again! He beat you like the underfed child who is hidden in the closet and makes friends with rats! Hehe! No one will even know if you die.

Lithuania: Hey! That’s not very nice…! But go on… go on and kick me while I am down in the dumps and feeling blue!

Poland: Ok! Anyway, I do not mind helping you out. All you have to do is whatever I say!

Lithuania: Ughh… and he wonders why so many hate him…

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Russia)

England: (panting and other noises of discomfort)

Children: To be continued!

[To be continued]

Translations
• England’s Cold: According to Funimation, it’s not actually any specific time period, which explains the generic clothes and fairly relaxed interactions. When a nation gets sick in Hetalia, it’s because their economy is not doing very well. The most likely reason for this is a war that drains the money out of a nation to fund it. The Great Depression strip (which is so old America doesn’t have his ahoge yet) shows this pretty well, with Japan (GDP of -3) having a cough and a flushed face while Poland’s (-46) fever was so high he didn’t even have the energy to yell at America.
• Touché: Touch, but I read somewhere that it can also be like testing something out (French)
• Russia has won it again! Now Lithuania has to live with him: The event that Russia won is most likely the Polish-Russian War of 1792, which led to the Second Partition of Poland. The First Partition was a result of the War of the Bar Confederation, which is considered by many to be the first instance of a Polish uprising. Po-Liet didn’t lose nearly as much land in the First Partition as they did in the second, however. The second one cut Poland into a thin sliver compared to what he had been in 1772, with Russia taking a huge amount of what was originally Lithuania’s part. Russia held onto Liet until Germany grabbed him in WWI, and he didn’t reemerge as an independent nation until 1918, after Germany’s defeat. On a side note, did you know that Poland once went to war with Russia with the goal of DESTROYING him? Well, not exactly, but the goal of the Polish-Muscovite War shifted back and forth a hell of a lot, and one of the key points was to threaten Russia’s independence. On another side note, in 1387, compared to Poland, the Grand Duchy of Lithuania was freaking massive!
• Chain Letter: Warsaw has been the capital of a pretty impressive amount of nations, going from Masovia (a historical region in Mid-North-Eastern Poland), to Poland (incorporation of Masovia), to the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth (formation of the commonwealth), to Prussia (Third Partition of Poland), to the Grand Duchy of Warsaw (held by King of Saxony), to the Russian-ruled Polish Kingdom (Congress of Vienna), and finally back to Poland (Treaty of Versailles, WWI). So apparently this is an actual threat, haha. So that’s Warsaw history. On chain letter history, it seems that the first one was started in 1888 as a new fund-raising method. Basically, if you received the letter, you would donate a small amount of money (like, one dime) and send it to three people telling them to do the same. It’s funny how much chain letters have changed since then.
• Poland and Lithuania form a union: Obviously, it talks about this more in the episodes where they literally form a union, with political figures and everything, but with the whole “all you have to do is whatever I say,” the Lithuanian magnates actually discussed for quite some time because they didn’t want their power to be reduced. Anyway, this spiel would have taken place after the Muscovite-Lithuanian War, in which Russia beat Liet up pretty bad. He was seriously threatened by absorption into Russia, and Poland, partially to help the nation he was in personal union with and partially because if Liet falls then Russia is his new next-door neighbor, offered greater military cooperation and an eventual real union.