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Description
[Mr. Rome]

Rome: Ohoho! Ohohoho! Oho! Hohohoho! Ohohohoho!...

[Mr. Germania]

Germania: Ugh…

[“Explanation”
Europe before Christ.
Mr. Rome and Mr. Germania are here.]

Rome: I saw this-a crazy hot lady the other day. So I started-a chatting her up and impressed her by getting-a totally wasted! It works every time! Man, those drinks were craaazy good! I had the sex, which is the important-a thing. Anyway, after that I won an overwhelming victory in a battle!

Germania: Hey.

Rome: Huh?

Germania: Why don’t you talk about something other than women, liquor, and battles for once in your pathetic life.

Rome: …ohhh…

Germania: Grr…

Rome: That then leaves only seafood, and unless I’m doing a sexy mermaid, why would you want to hear that??

(Opening)

Germany: Hmm…

Germany’s thoughts: I know I formed an alliance with him, but I can’t figure this guy out at all… perhaps an observation diary will help!
(Squirrel: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!...) (Italy: Hahaha!...)

Squirrel: (chomp)
Italy: Ooh! Ahahaha~!

Germany’s narration: I woke up at six o’clock. For some reason he was right next to me.
(Italy: Ve~)

Germany’s narration: Nine o’clock.

Bucket: (whoosh)

Italy: Oof! Uhhhhhh…. (sway sway)

Germany: Ah!

Germany’s narration: I do not know why, but a bucket fell out of the thin air. Despite the astronomical odds, it hit him directly on the noggin.

Italy: Ohhhh…

Italy: Uh… umph! Umph!...

[Umph]

Germany’s narration: Ten o’clock. He had chased a cat around, so we had to apologize to Greece for playing with his p•••y without permission.

Italy: Umph…

Germany’s narration: One o’clock. He is mass producing white flags. I then lecture him on not being such an idiot.

[Umph]

Germany’s narration: Half past two. He falls into a pit, dug by that jackass, Britain. Is he fighting for Napoleon?
(Italy: Germany! Germanyyyyyyy! Oohoo!)

[Germany! Germany!]

Italy: Ha…. Sleeping…

Germany’s narration: Three o’clock sharp. He took a siesta.

Germany: Hmm…

Germany’s narration: From what I can tell, he has never folded his laundry.

Germany: Good grief…

Germany’s narration: He awoke at four o’clock, and immediately started fighting with a cat over food.
(Cat: Meoww!! MEOWWWW!!)

Italy: Oh! This is my pizza…! Oh..!!
Cat: Hisssssss!

[Hiss]

Germany’s narration: Five o’clock. I think he is doing something with Japan.

Italy: Hey, Germany, your timing is, like, perfect!

Japan: “Like perfect” is most correct. We just made some rice balls.

Germany: Nom… hmm… wow… ist gut!

Germany’s narration: Und so, the day ends.

Italy: Pasta!

Germany: Drrgh…

Germany’s narration: However, once again I was unable to figure him out. By the way, I’ve been doing this for 28 days straight, now.

Germany: Hetalia!

Austria: Nh…
Spain: Ah!

Chibitalia: Please don’t, big brother! (cry cry)

Austria: Spain, this is Italy’s older brother; you want sovereignty over him?
(Chibitalia: {cry sob})

Spain: ¡¿Qué?! Are you serious?! Wowzers, thank you!!
I finally have an underling, I finally have an underling~! All this time, I thought Austria was a puta, but it turns out he’s actually a pretty nice guy!
Hooray, I’m so happyyyyy! Heeheehee!

[Zzzzzzzzz]

Chibiromano: (snore)

[Drool…]

Spain’s thoughts: Oh, I get it. He just dumped this kid on me because he’s a lazy jack wagon.

Spain and Chibiromano: Spain the boss, and Chibi Romano.

[Spain the Boss and Chibi Romano]

Spain: Listen to me, Romano. As of today, I am the boss of you, which means you have to do whatever I say, ok?

Chibiromano: Ahhhh… if I wanted to follow someone’s directions I would listen to a sexy lady, not you! No thanks, la Spain!

Spain: I do not think you are understanding me.

Chibiromano: Nom nom…

Spain: Romano! Hi! Go clean my house immediately.

Chibiromano: Why don’t you hire a maid, eh?

Spain’s thoughts: ¿Qué?

Spain: No se… I do not think I can control this Romano…

France: Well then, give him to me! I’ll take him! Come on, give him to meeeeee!

Spain: I do not think so.

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)

Germania: …

Rome: Nhhhhh….

Children: To be continued!

[To be continued]

Translations
• Germania: He wasn’t really a country in himself, but rather a region of independent Germanic tribes, including the Lombards, the Hermunduri, and the Vandals. Beginning around the end of the second century BC, with the Climbrian War between Rome and the Climbri and Teutons, but really picking up in 270 AD, they fought a bunch of wars against each other. During his time alive, Rome was only really able to control a few Germanic tribes, and even then sometimes only for a short while. In Hetalia terms, it would kind of be like Rome walking into Germania’s house and staking claim to the drawing room and downstairs bathroom only. It was the Visigoths and the Vandals, in that order, that sacked Rome, spelling his demise.
Germania’s influence can still be seen in Italy today, with the most spoken language in the Italian province of Südtirol (German)/Alto-Adige (Italian) being German. Additionally, one of Italy’s northernmost provinces is Lombardy (Lombardia), and as we can see, one of the Germanic tribes was the Lombards. For reference, Milan is the capital of Lombardy.
• Rome and seafood: Apparently, in Ancient Rome, seafood was often used as part of a dessert! They were also famous for their fish sauce, which had a lot of uses, from actual sauce to a replacement for salt. One kind of wine actually called for seawater as an ingredient! Rome really liked putting things from the sea in his diet.
• Italy fell into a ditch! Is he fighting for Napoleon?: After escaping from his exile on Elba (the largest island in the Tuscan Archipelago), Napoleon ruled France for a second time until basically all of Western Europe (The Seventh Coalition) went up against him in the Battle of Waterloo. (Except Spain, since they were heavily tied to France by this time). At one point in the battle, the French Cavalry was diverted by a sunken road that effectively acted like a trap, and forced them to move away from the British infantry waiting on the other side of the road. Hedges lined the road on either side. The Hetaila DVD notes say that over three thousand fell into the ditch, but I’m not entirely sure how true that is; it seems that both sides were well aware that the road was not level. It’s more likely that they advanced and then found themselves walled in and confused. The same event is mentioned in France’s “I am strong!” monologue in episode 10.
Britain digs the pit that Italy falls into as well, so he must personally be fond of this prank-like war strategy.
• Rice balls: The kind they make is the Japanese onigiri (おにぎり), which is the well-known kind; it’s usually in a triangular shape (unless decorative) and wrapped in seaweed. Italy also has a rice ball in his cuisine, called arancini. They are fried riceballs, usually stuffed with meat, mozzarella, and peas. It’s said to originate from Sicily.
• Ist gut: Is good (German)—such grammar
• The crying chibi: Austria points at Chibitalia and calls him Italy’s older brother, so… Italy also sounded a bit different from how I remember, but Romano is colored significantly differently in the same episode, so I think it can be concluded that the crying chibi was Italy and that Austria needs to have a reality check.
• Qué: What (Spanish)
• Spanish sovereignty over Romano: Italian history is far too complicated to go deep into, but I’ll try to make a long story very shot. For a really long time, Italy was split into the Northern Half, which consisted of independent city-states, and the south, which consisted of the kingdoms of Naples and Sicily, separated by the Papal States. Spain and Austria were united in 1516 through marriage under Habsburg Charles V (Charles I of Spain). Austria’s offering of Romano to Spain probably takes place when their kingdoms were divided between Charles’s brother (Ferdinand I of Austria) and his son (Philip II of Spain), as Romano was left under Spanish rule when this happened. For much of Romano’s history, he was ruled by viceroys of Spain, until Spain took direct control.
• Puta: Bitch (Spanish)
• La Spain: This literally means nothing in neither Spanish, nor Italian. Spain in Spanish is “(La) España” and in Italian, it’s “(La) Spagna.”
• No se: I don’t know (Spanish)
• France wants Romano: As mentioned in the last episode, France and Austria have a history of hating each other, and they fought over the peninsula in the Habsburg-Valois Wars. Prior to this, French Charles I ruled all Southern Italy, until Sicilian Vespers expelled him from their island and the Spanish House of Aragon took Sicily. After this, France repeatedly returned to the area, and Spain repeatedly eventually expelled him. France’s last claim on Romano was incorporating him into the Napoleonic Empire, and upon the dissolution of that, he became independent as the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies until joining Italy to form one nation in 1861.