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heysawbones — DD ROUND 1-4
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Published: 2009-12-19 04:50:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 2266; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 19
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I lied. I got time. More nice pages ahead.
*lazysmirk
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Comments: 22
I actually did have the same issue that the judges did with clarity the first time I read through this. I blame it on there being too many blondes. ...and also on my apparently not reading the entire audition. There was a whole chunk at the end of that which I apparently missed.
It was all good on the second read-through though. (And may I congratulate you on aborting a child in your very first round? *golf-claps*) With a few exceptions. It could just be me, but the characters seem to almost pop in and out of existence as the scene requires. Giving the viewer more of an idea of where they are--shadows in the background, a stray shoulder in the foreground, that kind of thing--might help with that.
This page (hence my decision to comment here), and the one immediately previous to it have a slight issue as well, to my thinking. The pregnant woman and her expressions take up a lot of the focus... but they don't really change all that much. There are people here, she hopes they can help her, she's in pain... this doesn't really change much. Some more focus on Sef's emotional progression would have a) gone a ways to explaining his reaction, and b) really been more interesting, as far as I'm concerned. The viewer is left to infer the "my friend/associate is dead --> my plans are fucked --> it's all this bitch's fault" thought process after the fact.
It is meant to be a versus match, though, and I can see why you'd sacrifice some of that emotional buildup to more strongly feature your opponent's character.
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DING DING DING omg you're the first person to mention that Sam has the same face over and over in this comic. u_u; Thanks for noticing! It's pretty weaksauce and I didn't notice it until I was done drawing all of it out, unfortunately - but there it is.
You're right; I could do more to anchor the characters into the setting. I draw at high levels of detail and it takes a lot of time. I tend to drop people out of the scene if they aren't contributing to it and are conceivably not visible from that angle, anyway. You're right about Sef, though - dude kind of disappears out of the middle of the round, and that isn't exactly helpful.
Thanks so much for stopping through!
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Well... shock and pain were probably taking their toll on the subtler nuances, and all. I don't consider it a tremendous oversight or anything.
I can understand the feeling (although I probably drop details way too easily, in my art). Still, even a heavily simplified presence could go a long way.
No problem! I'm looking forward to the next round.
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Teeny tiny thing. I read this three times before I realised that you were trying to emphasise the words DEAD and YOUR and not quote them sarcasticly as in "dead" and "your".
I'm probably just being dumb but it really changes the tone of the dialogue if you say someone is "dead". Might be worth emphasising in bold instead?
Following this with relish btw. When are you guys making a comic book I can buy? Seriously. Good luck.
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You're about to be hell of disappointed, ha ha, the rest of the pages are HILARIOUSLY BAD ROUGHS.
lolingly bad.
And wait until next year. :'D comics are a-comin'. Maybe you can't buy them, but they'll be full digital paints and you can see them online!
SECRETLY THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO BOLD THAT FONT.
<<
>>
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AM I THE ONLY ONE SAD ABOUT THANE
also pregnancy beatings, but mainly thane
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they don't know who he is, that wonderful manly-brow'd fellow :'D
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He died being a hero. ;A;
And protecting the wrong person, apparently.
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CURSE HIS BLEEDING HEART. Now Sef is stuck relying on no one b'aw.
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he was fucked up enough before
LOOK WHAT YOU DID
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Oh that man.
The tension in the "You cow." panel is ideal. As always.
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Fucking goddamn cumswilling fuckmattress SEFFFFFF
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This is the best comment ever.
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He just makes me so angry
plus I really needed to use the word "fuckmattress"
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I IRL lol'd and showed all my friends this comment.
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Awesome--it's pretty much my goal to initiate some lulz! :V
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Sef, you are clearly THE WORST EVER.
Wake up, Bawb. ;A; Bawb, Sam needs yoouuuuu...!
Uuugghhhh well you already know how much I love your pencilwork but I suppose it is about time I gush in more detail. Maybe the best thing to point out, in my opinion, is Samantha peering timidly out from beneath the desk in panel 2 while Sef appears to tower over her with all the focus on that gun.
Glory, friend.
You are so very close, then it's nap-time and handshakes all across the board. I know you can finish and that you won't stop 'til you do.
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i am a bulldozer, bb.
a killdozer
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