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CobraToon [2017-12-28 06:27:58 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Merry Critmas from the Samurai Snowmen!

Panels 1-5: It's a bit cliché when heroes oversleep, but as we discover this one has reasons. Also, it's not super obvious that her partner is flying everywhere, some wing flap motion lines might help so readers don't think they keep jumping during every panel – as I did at first.
Panels 11-13: Her partner seems to be managing her life …
Panels 18-20: Yeah, fights! I'm not sure why the protagonist had to wake up and come watch fights (is she a judge or reporter or something?) but I really enjoy the transition from warily watching to excitedly watching to deep focus watching.
Panel 23: the first speech bubble should probably come from the Digimon, not the woman.
Panel 27: Neat mid-triptych drama panel! But is that a scary evil face floating behind the protagonist? Because it's effectively covered up. You're representing an emotion, not reality, so scary evil floating faces can be as big as the entire panel.
Panels 29-33: I quickly figured out the protagonist was talking to a past self, so nice job on that. The dialogue is all things we say to ourselves, not others, plus I like how the illusion refuses to speak.
Panels 34-37: I like the complex emotions here. A hindsight of immaturity coupled with an acceptance of personal failings, and then some dramatic frustration when things don't instantly improve just because we realized and admitted fault.
Panels 43-44: And even better, the protagonist shows she hasn't grown, she still thinks she's special and can become better through asking herself to change, through force of will alone.
Panels 42 and 51: The partner listening at the keyhole is a nice way to remind readers this conversation is sort of about them, but also basically confirms that the partner doesn't trust the protagonist and has to manage their well being, watching them at all times for signs of breaking.
Panel 54: Cut the panel off below the partner's eyes and no one has to see that awkwardly drawn mouth.
Panel 56: I'm sure that's a cool call-back, but I'd also like to say how cool this panel is all by itself. The stretching skin, the extra detailed art implying more focus, the neon bright purple inside contrasting the basic colors outside.
Panels 61-63: Nice choice here to consider violence - the cliche “slap them back to reality” move – but stop out of empathy.
Panel 65: Though shouting their name is no less cliché, or less violent when the thing shouting has that many teeth.
Panels 69-70: Extra repetition of the breathing exercise would make the comic longer, but getting at least three inhales and exhales would let me believe they helped the protagonist. Or try a larger gutter between panels 70 and 71 to imply some unseen time passed, or lengthen panel 70 so that panel 71 starts the next row.
Panels 73-75: I enjoy both the protagonist's uncomfortable admission and her partner's unhelpful but honestly happy reply, but the former feels more important. You might want to stay focused on what the protagonist is feeling, not what the partner is feeling.
Panel 85: An excellent reminder of what the protagonist was trying to tell herself before; you're not special, you have flaws, it's going to be okay.
Panel 86: This panel stopped me because, on the evidence of this page alone, I don't believe the partner. They're basically perfect; warm and empathetic, wise yet also practical, joyful when they have reason for joy and sad when they have reason for sadness.
Panels 90-94: Great dialogue about how self-repression makes things worse and everything has a flip side, even rage. Though it doesn't really help to say, “Be in control and things will be fine” when your brain is making you see horrifying visions of yourself.

Vision: Humans have flaws and change is hard.

Originality: Interesting how you've used Digimon, creatures normally without flaws and for whom change is easy, to present those ideas.

Technique: I kind of just totaled up every positive and negative for this.

Impact: The reason people see hallucinations is not because they forgot to control themselves, it's because their brain has a serious problem and they need serious help. Her partner said and did all the right things but I'm guessing the protagonist is not yet okay … while if she did become okay after this the idea would be undercut. You hit some great dramatic points, but essentially this page moved your plot along without a full resolution.

PS: I would definitely read this comic.

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hydroflorix [2018-01-22 02:41:53 +0000 UTC]

Hronawmon helping Lavvy get ready is super cute. I still love that creepy grin, too!

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slip-of-the-pen [2018-01-01 18:41:56 +0000 UTC]

And sometimes a good talking-to is all it takes

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Galordeus [2017-12-29 12:11:38 +0000 UTC]

YAY! Character growth!

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Helios-No-Jinn [2017-12-28 22:09:33 +0000 UTC]

Welp. 

Who knew it could get worse? 8D 

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Cannonfodder10503 [2017-12-28 21:30:08 +0000 UTC]

I suggest she visit a psychologist. 

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Kage-Bushi [2017-12-28 14:16:27 +0000 UTC]

Shit... Now her past will torment her...

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MinitaurKid [2017-12-28 13:28:26 +0000 UTC]

Whelp.
That's some nightmare fuel you have going on.
Excellent page, Lavvy.

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Truewolfwarriors [2017-12-28 06:59:45 +0000 UTC]

I know she is a very minor character and is just for background action, but....I really like Suzie now 8"D Kangaroo-like digimon regretting over hitting someone too hard whose rusty at fighting is adorable XD

And as I said before, Hronawmon is the best partner. So glad Lavvy was able to share that much with her and she could help her tamer out.

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Vyral-Veros [2017-12-28 04:03:11 +0000 UTC]

CALLED IT.

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slip-of-the-pen [2017-12-28 04:03:06 +0000 UTC]

Touching

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chaoman25 [2017-12-28 03:52:11 +0000 UTC]

that move me !

no joke !

that move me !

20/10

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theWolfdragon21 [2017-12-28 03:39:18 +0000 UTC]

damn this is what i feel sometimes...like you got demons watching coming up reminding you of stuff....heh but you got to remember your not alone and you learn from your mistakes and in this at the end there shes always got Hronawmon with her ^^ no matter what!

i can't wait to see whats next

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JeMiChi [2017-12-28 03:34:16 +0000 UTC]

I love seeing characters like this, with depth, with a darker side, mentally unstable (and well written at that), and this page is especially great because it has those good words of advice and comforting there - and not necessarily for getting over it, but to use that trait for their advantage and to learn to live with it. I find that admirable (and your storytelling is excellent). ^^
It always frustrates me a little when I see that the mental instability or the traumas of a character - their "dark side" - are treated as something they need to get over in order to accomplish anything and be worth something, otherwise they are doomed. And I can imagine that would be discouraging for people that feel like they are in a similar situation but unable to become "normal". Sometimes it just becomes a part of who we are, and we need to learn to live with it. 
But in your comic, you show us that struggle and how hard it is, and how it can make someone do stupid things or even hurt others, but even after all that, even though the problem hasn't vanished, it's not the end. I think that's really amazing! Especially for a comic made for a tournament like this.

I haven't followed the story of these two until recently, so there's definitely a lot I don't know, so I apologize if I interpret something incorrectly. But they are definitely growing on me, and I'm looking forward to see how they'll do in the battle.

Congratulations for drawing your record breaking page too, and good luck!

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WolfryHedgies [2017-12-28 02:45:42 +0000 UTC]

JESUS CHRIST, LAVVY.

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