Dreyfus2006 [2009-07-12 21:18:36 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Ouch. That's all I can say.

No matter how nice the shading is on Raahn, that background really brings the picture's score down. And it isn't because it's a bad background; it is because of how it relates to Raahn. As it stands, there isn't a single point to that background. It doesn't do anything for the picture at all, and the picture would probably look better without it. As the artist, you say you don't care, but as the viewer, we say we do care. If you are going to give us a background and not even care what we think, then why give it to us at all? That's just being disrespectful. If you made a bad background, then at least show us that you hope we like it. Otherwise, why even show it to us in the first place?

First, the puddles. Look at all the rain, and look at the puddles. Why is there only a single drop of rain even showing a single remote sign of hitting the puddle? There should at least be remnants of the last drop. The puddles are at the moment really un-realistic, very last moment. They also lack any perspective at all. Look at Raahn's lower foot. It is at a heads-on view. Now look at the puddle directly under it. We have almost a top view of the puddle. It looks like the puddles and Raahn are from two separate pictures. I'll get back to that in a moment.

There is also nothing connecting the puddles to the rest of the background. They look like we're supposed to give them attention, which we aren't. Puddles aren't flat; they form when water collects in a depression in the earth. These puddles look more like rugs. I hate to be frank, and you know I wouldn't normally be so direct, but there's no other way to describe it. At least show that the rest of the ground is above them.

The puddles also serve to ruin your background. They are so flat-looking and all of the same perspective that they make the horizon look like the nearby edge of a cliff. Perhaps that's what you wanted. But at least to me, it looks more like that's supposed to be mountains in the distance.

Raahn is also serving to murder your background, which I think is sad, because without the puddles and Raahn the background would probably look fine. Back to his feet. If he's on a cliff, things aren't looking good; if he's in the flat lands, things are even worse. Both of his feet are at a front-on angle, even though one is far away from the other. They don't look like one's closer to us at all; it looks like Raahn's raising his right foot in preparation to stomp the ground, or he's walking towards us. Foot perspective is something even I need to work on; but if the foot is farther away it not only needs to be smaller, but considering the angle of the ground we should be seeing the tops of one if not both feet. Right now, Raahn's closer foot is small than his farther away one. That's just not right.

Fortunately, however, you pulled through on the rest of his body. The first thing I looked for was proper shading of the tail; making it shinier than the rest of his body. You did it just fine. The shading is seemless and pleasant to look at. The only thing that bothers me is the direction of the light; it seems that the light should be either above or behind him, and yet a lot of his body (and especially the axe) are lit up underneath instead of on top.

The biggest problem here, though, is that Raahn doesn't fit into the background at all; you could remove it completely and still have an okay picture (even better). You need to give him something that ties him (or, in art terms, unifies him) to the background. Perhaps a shadow on the ground, or some dirt pushed away by one of his feet. A reflection in the puddle. Just something.

The best part of the picture were the wings and tail (you know I'm a sucker for them tails), the worst part was a tie between the puddles and his feet. Neither of them agree with each other, nor the background, nor Raahn.

Originality holds strong thanks to the differences Raahn has from other Raymanians; but what you wanted to accomplish was brought down by the puddles, and the insult to your audience that was your attitude towards the background in its entirety virtually killed the impact. Instead of seeing a cool picture, I instead saw a somewhat interesting picture ruined by a rushed, last-minute attempt at a complex background that was then admittedly thrust at us whether we cared for it or not. Your audience isn't there just because of the characters; they are there because of the art.

Nothing to worry too much about, though; due to the separation between the picture's elements, you can easily edit this and improve the things bringing this picture to the floor. Many pictures aren't really editable by the time you get the critique; but this one is.

Good luck next time. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)" /> Nice to see more of Raahn; problems aside, it was a great treat to see him again. Hope the critique wasn't too harsh, but dire times call for dire measures.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

chaosgods [2009-07-09 18:44:36 +0000 UTC]

cool, looks really awesome

👍: 0 ⏩: 1