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MY VALENTINE WHITE RABBIT - "My Valentine Wonderland" Part 4

Valentine's Day.

You never knew such a cheerful occasion could be so hard to swallow as you walked through town unaccompanied. Red and pink heart-shaped decorations found their way on every shop's windows and street corners, while balloons of such were tied along every lampposts and streamers strewn from one end of the street to the other. Though they were faceless, the locals of Wonderland looked extremely blissful as couples strolled past you without a care; hand in hand, arm in arm. No matter how many times you kept telling yourself that today is just like any other normal day, Valentine's Day was annoyingly insistent in making itself known… by showing that you had no place in it at all.

Great. Just Great! Another lovey-dovey pair just had to kiss right in front of you before snuggling up to each other. You always believed that you were a girl made for passion and romance, but all these mushiness was slowly choking your heart to death. You always believed that he was the right man for you too, but now he's the reason for the heavy and throbbing pain you feel in your chest. It should never have ended that way, but it did, and that was the harsh and irreversible fact which you currently forced yourself to focus on. Grimacing, your fingers gripped at your white apron front and your pace quickened, unconsciously trying to get away from the place, to get away from love…

To get away from Valentine's Day.

The word was beginning to taste bitter on your tongue. You fixed your eyes to the ground as the floor passed beneath your feet quickly, silently screaming to yourself words that were lost in the numbing heartache. Everyone said time heals all wounds. Unfortunately, your time must be ticking too slowly and unwanted memories were spilling back into your mind. Sure, the bad times hurt, but it was the good ones that hurt even more; a mocking reminder of what you had once possessed but lost. As you ran, the lovebirds around you gave incredulous and pitiful looks. You couldn't stand it. Of course, no Wonderlander would expect the beloved Foreigner to be dateless today, but your heart was cold. You didn't want to celebrate, didn't want Valentine's Day to mean a thing, but the emptiness you initially thought you could handle was becoming unbearable. If you knew it was going to be this bad, you'd never have left home in the first place.

A low lying thorn bush scrapped past your knee, causing you to wince and your legs finally paused. Looking around breathlessly, your location finally registered to you when you saw the surrounding trees of the forest and the quiet clearing that revealed the Plaza of the Clocktower up ahead; the place where you had first come to in Wonderland. You sighed aloud your relief and pent-up emotions as you settled down on the cool, stone steps and the furrows between your brows deepened as you pondered. Why were you brought to Wonderland in the first place? This day was making it all look like a joke. Did you really think you could find happiness in guys falling for you just because you're a Foreigner? Well, look where you are now! You could laugh… sadly… at the mere naïve notion of it. From what you've experienced so far, you're clearly not the type of girl any man would want. So then, what was your purpose here in Wonderland? Love is fickle and illusionary, but it didn't stop you from wanting it...

That's right. You came here because you just wanted to love… and be loved.

"My darling, you're back!"

Startled, you searched for the source of that familiar voice to see a familiar face with two long snowy ears. The figure clasped his gloved hands in front of his impeccably neat red-checkered waistcoat as he walked out from behind a tree and you inwardly cringed on reflex.

You told yourself you wanted love but you're not that desperate! You braced yourself for a bodily attack which the rabbit-eared man is so fond of, but Peter White just stood there quietly a feet from you, his blissful smile changing into an incomprehensible expression, a mixture of melancholy and surprise, and you knew something was off. His now solemn crimson eyes gazed at you and his once lax bunny ears were pulled slightly back.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?" The albino man questioned with a tilt of his head. Was he expecting you to be with another Role-holder? That was just foolish. But there was something in the way he said it. It was like he was reading your heart and trying to share the raw pain which you have been so desperately denying.

Peter's observant eyes narrowed at you from behind his specs, a frown curving his lips downwards. "And you're hurt." He simply pointed out with a hint of worry in his voice as he gracefully walked towards you, his ashen lock drifting across his delicate features. Instinctively, you tried to get up when a stinging sensation blossomed from the knee-cut you had received earlier and you sat right back down on the steps while he shook his head exasperatedly. Hastily, your hand covered the small gnash, shielding it from his sight but Peter knelt in front of you and gently pried your hand away with that soft reprimanding look he would always give whenever he felt you were doing something unnecessary. The familiarity of that look stopped your heart for a moment because the concern in it was always genuine. It was something you never thought to appreciate and now, as weird and random as it may be, you actually missed it...a lot.

Swiftly, the white-haired youth pulled out his pink and clean handkerchief from his breast pocket and began to treat your wound. You looked down at the way his fingers tenderly and cautiously moved over your skin. And those silky white strands of his; it seems to know just how to fall in front of his face. It was so soft and pure to look at, just like snow, and it was so peculiar… how his usually annoying presence was inducing such a soothing and calming effect on you at this moment.

"This wasn't all that I was referring to." You hear him murmur as he finally wrapped and tied the cloth around your knee. He lifted his head and passionate red orbs bore straight into your wide, inquiring ones. Peter then cupped your face and smoothed a thumb gently over your eye and you closed your lids, relishing at his touch. It was as if he was wiping away invisible tears that only he could see.

"Always, I was waiting for you. I tried so hard to give you space but why do you return… still looking so in pain?" He said, his voice sounding a little strained with anguish while his ears lowered.

Pain. That word had you flinching back from him.

"Please don't push me away. Not today." His larger hand immediately encased yours and he pulled you forward, pressing your palm against his chest, his slender fingers locking it there and you blushed at the contact. You could see he was determined not to let you escape this time. "Can you feel it? My clock can't bear to see you this way." Peter spoke forlornly as his 'heart' ticked and droned beneath your hand, his wide wine-red eyes filled with a turbulence of so much unspoken sentiments, even though he professes his love to you at almost every possible waking moment.

It never seems to be enough for him.

"My dearest, you should never have to be alone on such a day." He raised his other hand, running his fingers from under your bangs before tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The rabbit was somehow making your own heart beat faster and you tried to look away but failed, because right at that second, Peter broke into a small smile as he moved that same hand to his chest and bowed slightly in a gesture of servitude.

"I only live for your happiness and yet everything I do seems to achieve the opposite. Won't you tell me then, what you want… what you need?" he implored. On his chest, Peter curled his fingers in between and through the back of yours and the young Prime Minister of Wonderland opened and brought your hand up to press a kiss amorously in the centre of your palm, causing a sweet chill to run down your arm and tingle your every nerve, suddenly making you feel more alive than you have ever been since the day started.

"As long as you request, I'll never leave you, never hurt you. This, I can always promise." White swore wholeheartedly, never removing or faltering his honest eyes from yours. It was one of the things you always liked about him. The man may lie just to be with you but he would never lie how he felt towards you. Suddenly, without warning, he tugged your hand over and hauled you into his arms, making you gasp in shock.

"So please, stop tormenting my poor heart and love me already!" Peter exclaimed with his typical teary-eyed antics and you sighed resignedly against his shoulder. Old habits die hard. You should have known. But surprisingly this time, it made you smile.

He made you smile.

"I'm selfish, I know." Peter barely whispered in you ear as his strong arms continued to hold you body as if you were a beautiful china doll that was about to break any moment. Or run away for the matter of fact. But a conflicted part of you yearned to stay like that with him a little longer. "I don't care if you hate me. Cut my ears and tear my clock out if that is what it takes for you to see how much you mean to me." He said, cradling the back of your head closer to his, longing apparent in his tone. What frightened you the most was how much he actually meant it.

All of it.

You could feel him treading his fingers through your hair, brushing his lips against it and the intimate sensation was making you wonderfully dizzy. Were you always this susceptible to him? Or was it just because it was Valentine's Day?

Neither. You always knew there was a deep and innate connection that existed between the two of you, but you never dared to let yourself admit it because his devotion was so strong, so unbelievably ardent… it was scary. Was it really right to accept it now?

Unable to answer your own question, you shook your head and your hand clutched at his jacket for support. As if he knew, Peter straightened up whilst continuing to kneel before you, an arm wrapping around your waist to mould your soft, pliant body onto his hard, dependable chest, while the fingers holding your head slid from behind your ear, tracing your jaw-line down to your chin before tipping your head up to meet his warm, smiling eyes. The rabbit man leaned his head down and rested his forehead on yours as he reassuringly replied, "It's ok. I exist for you and only you. From the beginning I was yours all along."

His breath was so close now it warmed your already burning cheeks and his long furry ears brushed the top of your head. You never knew it would be this comfortable to be with him even though he was always there. The red-eyed role-holder beamed even more when you smiled up at him. He can be so satisfied with just the little things you did and it made you want to give him more. Peter slowly lowered his head, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose, his half-lidded eyes finding your lips before moving even lower. Gradually, you closed your own eyes as well, trusting him; the very first Role-holder you met and the very person responsible for bringing you down the hole to Wonderland, the keys that locked away your shattered heart, feeling the pieces completing itself after such a long time.

Maybe... just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to look forward to the next Valentine's Day.

"Let me be the one you need. Let me stay by your side." You heard him ask huskily as the space between the both of you closed in even more. "Please?" Peter whispered softly, his soothing voice with just that one word was enough to melt your entire being to the core.

"My love, my sweet… choose me."

Love. You didn't have to look far for it. Because even before you knew him, somewhere out there, he was always waiting to be found by you, and that was the best Valentine present one could ever ask for…

Your very own, one-of-a-kind White Rabbit of Wonderland.