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Published: 2010-01-09 07:25:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 8257; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 14698
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Description
There was no space in the title for a 'the.'Already this guide is ruined. But for your sake, I shall persevere. You should be thankful, you should.
Welcome to this slightly outdated and relatively useless guide on how to endure your arduous... trip? into the world that we call the Complaints Forum. I would at this point like to say that you are obviously retarded for wanting to go to the Complaints Forum in the first place. What in the world is wrong with you? Have you seen what goes on in there?
But, if that's just your thing, then by all means, continue ahead! The following is an incomplete guide filled with a plethora of personal bias and random gibberish, whimsical nothings designed to confuse and confound you to the point where you are crying to yourself in a corner.
If you have already reached that stage, go on. Let it all out. We'll wait.
.....
If you are masochistic enough to be ready to continue on, then let us sally forth, into the world that is the Forum for Complaints!
But first, proper introductions must be made! Now, random deviant reading this guide, this is the Complaints Forum. Say "hi," Complaints Forum.
...now, that was completely uncalled for, Complaints Forum.
Now, the 'official description' of the Complaints Forum is a place where one can 'Complain about anything that you feel the need to, just do not expect things to change!' A more (in)accurate, unorthodox, and non-official description would be a nesting ground of trolls and failures, a meeting place of distorted users and confused deviants, and a few asshats thrown in for good measure.
Plus, other people.
Moving on!
Now, the first thing you might notice upon entering the Complaints Forum is that, my word, it's saturated with threads! This forum is just full of threads (and has two stickies)! Well we better get posting right?
HahahaWRONG. You doof.
That is a horrible idea, and you are a horrible person for suggesting it.
NEVER just start posting right away. NOT IN THE COMPLAINTS FORUM, SIR/MA'AM/GORILLA FEATURES. It is unwise, it is acting in complete disregard for your own safety, and you're an doof for even wanting to do so in the first place.
...doof.
NEVER, never, never never never never, enter Complaints without any forum experience tucked under your belt, slipped into your shoes, or crammed into your pantyhose. Unless you're a genuine cynical asshat (or something along those lines), chances are you have absolutely NO IDEA how something like the Complaints Forum works.
See, the Complaints Forum is like... a machine. A machine with... gears in it. You see, those gears, they represent... nothing. Because the gears really aren't all that important.
Seeing as how that metaphor is not going anywhere, let's keep on moving.
Now, say you do have some forum experience stuffed into your bra! Well then, that's good. At the least, it's better than having nothing, right? HahahaWRONG. You doof.
See, the Complaints Forum is different from the rest of the deviantART forum. Do you want to know why?
Well, I don't know why. Go ask somebody who's knowledgeable.
But it is, and you should behave accordingly.
Now, there are really multiple ways to go about with this. However, this guide is on how to "endure" Complaints. That is to say, how can we go through this procedure with the majority of our sanity left intact and without having to soil ourselves too much by having to wade through the muck that is commonly associated with dealing with trolls?
Here are a handy-dandy list of steps, provided for your convenience (your welcome, doofs):
1) Run away and never come back.
2) In the case that option #1 is not feasible, refer to option #3.
3) Grow. A. Thick. Skin.
4) Always be indecisive. Never have a strong opinion about anything.
5) Type with as impeccable spelling and grammar as possible. While some people might do something like complain about typing correctly on the Internet (you are all lazy doofs, and you all know who you are D:<), it's still a good idea considering the Internet is a medium in which communication is solely by text.
6) When making a complaint, don't beat the dead horse. And that means that you shouldn't complain about something that's been born, beaten, killed, reincarnated, beaten, killed, re-birthed, beaten, killed, re-created, beaten, killed, restored, beaten, and killed. Anime, Twilight, and all that other shit. There's no reason to dirty yourself complaining about those.
7) Come up with a legitimate complaint. What consists of a legitimate complaint varies from person to person. You're on your own there.
8) Have a sense of humor. You doof.
9) ????
10) Profit!!!
"But insidexml!" you might proclaim. "You have used some vocabulary that I am wholly unfamiliar with!"
Well, that is obviously because you are a doof. I recommend you Google whatever it is you're asking. Chances are you'll find something slightly accurate. Maaaaybe.
In conclusion, if you limit your exposure to the Complaints Forum, are indecisive, humorous, and just blend into the background, congratulations! You've endured the Complaints Forum.
Now, becoming a forum whore, on the other hand...
Related content
Comments: 32
SkyFire2008 [2021-12-07 23:19:34 +0000 UTC]
π: 0 β©: 0
Veevsi [2014-09-28 00:49:50 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, it sure is a nice place to get some Trolls to give you a bunch of Pageviews... But since my Image of the Complaints Forum is slightly the same of a burning pit with rotting human limbs that get devoured by Zombies, I rather wouldn't want to run into this place. No one with common sense would want that.
Well, one thing is for sure: Even if this Guide is old you gave me a great laugh, heh. uvu
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to Veevsi [2014-10-01 02:14:39 +0000 UTC]
We've all done things when we were young that we regret now.
π: 0 β©: 0
neenj61 [2011-03-02 03:38:10 +0000 UTC]
So whatt your saying is waste of time to complain!TY forving me the fucking trouble,I'll delete my account.
π: 0 β©: 1
ClumsyTwirler [2010-05-16 05:25:16 +0000 UTC]
This made me laughβ¦ and Iβm still laughing about it, by the way.
I kinda, sorta, maybe wish that I had seen this guide before ever coming to the Complaints forum.
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to ClumsyTwirler [2010-05-16 06:54:46 +0000 UTC]
Be smart, act safe, type intelligibly, have safe sex, eat your vegetables, kick the neighbor's dog, and flush some magazines down the toilet.
π: 0 β©: 1
ClumsyTwirler In reply to insidexml [2010-05-16 14:55:52 +0000 UTC]
But... but... but... I'm too nice to kick the poor dog! I think I'll just settle for blending into the background.
π: 0 β©: 0
SafetyInSingular [2010-01-16 05:04:17 +0000 UTC]
Somehow, I figured all this out the hard way
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to SafetyInSingular [2010-01-16 05:06:18 +0000 UTC]
That's because you didn't read this guide.
π: 0 β©: 1
SafetyInSingular In reply to insidexml [2010-01-16 17:15:37 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the petting, I needed it.
But the guide wasn't here when I went to the Complaints Forum
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to SafetyInSingular [2010-01-16 18:37:19 +0000 UTC]
Well you obviously should have waited until there was a guide before venturing into the Complaints Forum.
π: 0 β©: 1
SafetyInSingular In reply to insidexml [2010-01-16 22:48:04 +0000 UTC]
But I was so eager to be part of the forum community! How could I not click on the Complaints forum when it tempted me with it's promises?
π: 0 β©: 1
SafetyInSingular In reply to insidexml [2010-01-17 05:50:25 +0000 UTC]
But willpower doesn't like me
π: 0 β©: 0
mngamojemo [2010-01-09 15:47:14 +0000 UTC]
I can't stand it when people open a piece of literature with descriptions of how bad it is.
π: 0 β©: 1
j1mmyj6zz [2010-01-09 10:35:04 +0000 UTC]
*you're
Yes I see the irony that I pointed out a spelling/grammar mistake
π: 0 β©: 1
Juliabohemian [2010-01-09 07:56:51 +0000 UTC]
I can't wait for the made for TV movie. That chick from Life Goes On will play the Complaints Forum.
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to Juliabohemian [2010-01-09 07:58:36 +0000 UTC]
I really have no idea what you're talking about.
π: 0 β©: 1
Juliabohemian In reply to insidexml [2010-01-09 08:16:40 +0000 UTC]
Sorry. I have a habit of making jokes that you need to either be American or at least 30 years old to get.
π: 0 β©: 1
Professor-Random [2010-01-09 07:35:45 +0000 UTC]
I simply throw rocks at people that I don't like.
π: 0 β©: 1
insidexml In reply to Professor-Random [2010-01-09 07:37:03 +0000 UTC]
Good sir, I do believe that goes under step 9 (????)
π: 0 β©: 0







