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IvanRadev β€” It's Not
Published: 2014-07-22 09:08:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 1061; Favourites: 40; Downloads: 0
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Description It's not the lipstick gloss
that makes a kiss
but
the warm pulse beating through
her lips.
It's not their size
nor shape
but the words they whisper,
afterwards.

It's not the color
nor the length
nor the glint
of her hair
that makes her special
but
it is her smile
in the falling rain
reflecting the joy
of yet another Spring,
together.

It's not the time
she spent getting beautiful
that makes her so

but in fact
it is the hours
she was besides my bed
when I was sick
and in fact
it is the minutes
I could hear her breathe
in my embrace
AND in fact
it is the seconds
I saw her cry
(out of happiness)

Because she's beautiful.

It's not the clothes,
nor the jewellery,
nor the colored nails,
nor the drawn-in brows,
nor the words she says
to other people,

and neither it is
her past.

...

It is her mind
that entertains my poems,
it is her charm
that paints my cheeks
(pink)
and averts my shy eyes from her
most briefly.

It is her soul,
that I love.
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Comments: 25

sammywammy123 [2014-08-16 04:54:41 +0000 UTC]

Words like "reflect" andΒ "glint" and the parenthesis were a little off-setting but the overall story flowed great! This is done well for simplicity. Maybe a little too simple for my taste but it is lovely none the less!!

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IvanRadev In reply to sammywammy123 [2014-08-16 10:54:00 +0000 UTC]

I used glint for its generally negative hue, reflecting was just the simplest word for what I meant. I could've used mirrored, would that be better? The parenthesis were used instead of formatting, it just looked better to me this way. I am happy you thought it was good!

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sammywammy123 In reply to IvanRadev [2014-08-17 04:23:08 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I have troubles with things requiring parenthesis. It is unsettling but there isn't much of a solution :/ uhg. Mirrored seems to be less abrupt yes.

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IvanRadev In reply to sammywammy123 [2014-08-18 10:57:48 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I know. I personally don't mind them, but there are quite a lot of people who are bothered by them. I might change it to mirrored next time I edit it

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Anninhaxox [2014-08-03 15:56:06 +0000 UTC]

You should be All of it is so beautiful, and emotive, but I really like the purity of the concluding words.Β 

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IvanRadev In reply to Anninhaxox [2014-08-03 18:52:43 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so very much for the kind words! I really think that it is the most important thing in a relationship... to love the person, not how they look

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Anninhaxox In reply to IvanRadev [2014-08-03 20:05:59 +0000 UTC]

I very much agree Β 

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haphazardmelody [2014-07-25 03:56:33 +0000 UTC]

This is just lovely! When I started reading, I was worried that this would read in a stilted way due to the formatting, but really the flow is perfect. You caused me to pause in all the right places by having the line breaks just so, so that this read with the maximum emotional impact. The imagery is just perfect as well - not an excessive amount of imagery (which really wasn't necessary in this case), but just enough to add your own artistic flair to the piece. And of course, this is just overall very sweet.

Wonderful job!

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IvanRadev In reply to haphazardmelody [2014-07-25 09:16:35 +0000 UTC]

I am really happy you liked it!! The breaks here were an experiment, since I am not really into this sort of formatting, but thought it could make things better. I am happy it did for you! And yes, I was trying to run away from my usual style of having too much imagery for this one, glad it felt good.

Once again, thank you!

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legomaestro [2014-07-25 03:20:24 +0000 UTC]

Nicely done

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IvanRadev In reply to legomaestro [2014-07-25 09:13:11 +0000 UTC]

You are too kind... Thanks!

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ArwynRie [2014-07-23 11:13:00 +0000 UTC]

These words would make any woman about whom they were written feel special! Β 

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IvanRadev In reply to ArwynRie [2014-07-23 12:32:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks This is inspired by three women, only two of whom actually exist though Anyway, I am really happy you liked it

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saevuswinds [2014-07-23 00:50:50 +0000 UTC]

Lovely and simple imagery. Very great work.Β 

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IvanRadev In reply to saevuswinds [2014-07-23 09:26:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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saevuswinds In reply to IvanRadev [2014-07-23 14:46:50 +0000 UTC]

No problem~

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StardustNuke [2014-07-22 17:03:16 +0000 UTC]

Great poem! Respect~!

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IvanRadev In reply to StardustNuke [2014-07-22 18:44:51 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks!!

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idoreallytry [2014-07-22 16:38:45 +0000 UTC]

That's unbelievably sweet, definitely enjoyed it! (:

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IvanRadev In reply to idoreallytry [2014-07-22 18:45:17 +0000 UTC]

You flatter me too much

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greenemerald200 [2014-07-22 13:33:42 +0000 UTC]

AMAZING~! It's so beautiful, and the meanings are very deep. I love it~! Keep up the great work~!

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IvanRadev In reply to greenemerald200 [2014-07-22 15:38:18 +0000 UTC]

I am happy you liked it! And I promise I will

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Neb-Storm [2014-07-22 12:23:43 +0000 UTC]

That's very beautiful!

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IvanRadev In reply to Neb-Storm [2014-07-22 15:37:43 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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Neb-Storm In reply to IvanRadev [2014-07-22 16:29:25 +0000 UTC]

No problem!

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