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THIS IS THE LAST OF THE SERIES OF DUMB DECISIONS, Thx for reading. Check the rest in my page.
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MY 5TH LOVE

“I tried to help… but he obsessed with who I was in the past and clouded the real me…”

I met him in the most random place ever, not knowing anyone he knew and from a place that I didn’t expect to happen anything. EVEN with the idea of meeting someone else at that particular place. It was a Horror genre Club, first reunion to be held also. We all had a great time and to be honest I saw him from afar not even considering anything. We started talking on Facebook, and we starting seeing a lot in common with each other, he seemed nice enough. He had a good job, a fun one as I consider it… although he hated it with all his guts (and never had a moment to forget that). We went out a couple of times, very normal stuff. Going to the park, watch movies and to the Club with the rest of the gang.

We slowly became the couple of the Club, everyone liked the idea. I liked him, he was funny as hell, he liked the same music as me… there was a lot of things we connected. We did lots of things I didn’t do with anyone else… it was rather normal stuff. He took me to my first horror play, we went to see movies at the museum, and it was a real cultural experience… That lasted like 4 months.

I started noticing him talking a lot about his ex girlfriend, I had a lot of bad experiences as you have witness with foreign women I didn’t knew about, but it was rather strange every detail resembled me… I’m a graphic designer, by then I had been doing it for years. The other one was also a designer, she had resemblance of mine… glasses, hair, she loved dogs, and she studied in my same college… I mean I don’t consider myself UNIQUE, but that became rather creepy.

He spoke of her almost like she saved him from something; but that she was a very possessive girl with his things, his accounts in social media, his phone… she was as he called her “NAZI GIRLFRIEND”. Made me feel bad for him, I didn’t had any type of trust issues towards him, I didn’t see the point of doing it also. I was curious of her, but I never had the balls to look her up… I just left it as it was.

As days passed by, he started to be more distant with me, I normally am a very loving person, he always struck me as a very fragile guy he just gave me that vibe… so I hugged him a lot, I kissed him a lot and for some reason he closed his eyes every time I did any type of those things. His grip was tight, like as if it hurt to grab me. I simply told him that I was worried for all that; he didn’t give me a right reason of what or why.

His family was very nice, but a bit broken. His mom though was very nice, she loved to talk… it was when he wasn’t there when she said something and turned the page quickly on what she was saying… “One day he was a very happy boy, being silly as he was… then poof… BUT ALL IS WELL EVERYTHING IS FINE FINE FINE NOTHING IS WRONG” that was my very first red flag I saw and hit me in the face. After that I became weary of my steps… and I found the cut marks on his arms, he always had long shirts cause of work even when it was summer. He didn’t sleep; I saw his eyes having black bags slowly. He cried, oh god he cried a lot.

I confronted him one day. He didn’t tell me what was going on. I was getting tired of all the mystery and I was worrying a lot, it was affecting me even. I lost weight, I didn’t eat a lot. I could pass an entire day just holding with jello in the morning and a sausage at night… and gallons of coffee.

Almost hitting November and a dear friend of mine called me one day out of the blue. He was really worried for me, not because I was slim or whatever he wasn’t even in the same city. He came directly with this “He asked me about your past, he didn’t say anything just asked for X person… I’m worried for you” that TO THE DATE send chills up my spine. I was angry and very disappointed. I confronted him showing him the text and he turned white almost and his only answer was “I just want to know what kind of person you are…” I then knew that his X had the same problem, he started digging up the past and found things about her.

New years passed and I thought that things worked out after we talked about it.

I fell ill and went for an entire day in the hospital, all that stress and lack of food on my system. I was in bed after getting back from the hospital and called him… no answer. It went for a full day… I was really worried.

6 am… I receive a note from him on Facebook. It was a list, which I didn’t even bother to read, with all what he dug up of me. He found my old blogs, my art blogs, my fotologs, he looked up names, places… Then he answered the call.

I packed his things in a box, and left it on the side of the door.

I think the most baffling thing he did was picking up his things… but NOT BEFORE to read a letter he did for me about HOW he stopped loving me after what he found out about me. Like if it wasn’t crazy enough… he had a script for me to hear. He left and I cried hard… it made me feel so damn miserable and it made me think I was the worse person ever.

Months passed and he kept lurking me… letters randomly getting in the middle of the night, addressed to my family members. Emails about random things. Gifts left at the doorstep of my office. He sat on a bench on a park near my office, just to see me pass by.

Don’t get me wrong… I did care for him. When I knew he had a problem I took him to a doctor. I talked to him about his problems. I worried for him a lot… he spoke of suicide like it was something magical… I did do everything in my hands to help.

But I don’t think his thing was depression…I think it was more obsession. He needed of someone to feel pity for him. He tried to drag me in his game to deform me in something I wasn’t. He was in love with someone he thought I was and he discovered I was someone completely different.

He also said once “Well doesn’t matter I know what KIND of person you are and now I have to deal with that” in a very disgusted way. He didn’t have to though. If something isn’t working for the best of both of you just leave it, it was not a healthy relation…

It didn’t end quickly though… I never DID see him again. Not that I recall. Beside the random letters… I got random emails. Always in my birthday though. This ended on 2011; he kept emailing me till this year. I never answered, I had it on spam. I thought it be the best thing to ignore him. I sent him the only and last email, because my fiancé was starting to get angry with his drama… he did respond but to be honest I imagine it was the same gibberish he wrote about HIM being a pain (which he was) but yeah that was that… or I hope.

My brother had him on his Feed on Facebook… he got tired of him a couple of years ago, he said that it was more than obvious that he was still obsessed over me.

Earlier on 2014 a guy I knew started to talk randomly with me again, turns out he just wanted to know if I met this guy he was lurking on his Rolplaying group. He spoke of someone that sounded FAMILIAR to him and went just to me and asked if I knew him. I found funny that now the character that was the one that saved him was ME. He just asked me what I did to him, he was really messed up. My only honest response was “I found him that way; I couldn’t do anything to help him, and if someone is interested on him just … RUN VERY FAR and save yourself”

What I learned?

I was lucky I had someone that stood beside me at the last moments, and I was lucky to know everything in time. I was simply lucky he didn’t do anything to me.

To be honest this relationship puzzled me for a long time, sometimes in very random moments I recall something and drags me back to the … what actually happen to him to be like that? Every time I bumped with a post about mental disorders I wondered what was going on in his head. I tried to study a bit on my free time at work but it only puzzled me more… Sometimes the best thing one can do, when you can’t do much, is leave it to a professional… one honestly can’t help but just support the person.

My conscience is clear though, I did what I could. I offered what I had. If someone won’t accept it and just keeps digging himself just leave this person be. Make yourself a mental note… sometimes don’t let yourself be dragged in to a personal Hell.

Before taking care of someone, take care of yourself. No one is more important than yourself; you are stuck with your body, your spirit and your mind. Don’t let yourself ROT.

Description

THIS IS THE LAST OF THE SERIES OF DUMB DECISIONS, Thx for reading. Check the rest in my page.
-------------------
MY 5TH LOVE

“I tried to help… but he obsessed with who I was in the past and clouded the real me…”

I met him in the most random place ever, not knowing anyone he knew and from a place that I didn’t expect to happen anything. EVEN with the idea of meeting someone else at that particular place. It was a Horror genre Club, first reunion to be held also. We all had a great time and to be honest I saw him from afar not even considering anything. We started talking on Facebook, and we starting seeing a lot in common with each other, he seemed nice enough. He had a good job, a fun one as I consider it… although he hated it with all his guts (and never had a moment to forget that). We went out a couple of times, very normal stuff. Going to the park, watch movies and to the Club with the rest of the gang.

We slowly became the couple of the Club, everyone liked the idea. I liked him, he was funny as hell, he liked the same music as me… there was a lot of things we connected. We did lots of things I didn’t do with anyone else… it was rather normal stuff. He took me to my first horror play, we went to see movies at the museum, and it was a real cultural experience… That lasted like 4 months.

I started noticing him talking a lot about his ex girlfriend, I had a lot of bad experiences as you have witness with foreign women I didn’t knew about, but it was rather strange every detail resembled me… I’m a graphic designer, by then I had been doing it for years. The other one was also a designer, she had resemblance of mine… glasses, hair, she loved dogs, and she studied in my same college… I mean I don’t consider myself UNIQUE, but that became rather creepy.

He spoke of her almost like she saved him from something; but that she was a very possessive girl with his things, his accounts in social media, his phone… she was as he called her “NAZI GIRLFRIEND”. Made me feel bad for him, I didn’t had any type of trust issues towards him, I didn’t see the point of doing it also. I was curious of her, but I never had the balls to look her up… I just left it as it was.

As days passed by, he started to be more distant with me, I normally am a very loving person, he always struck me as a very fragile guy he just gave me that vibe… so I hugged him a lot, I kissed him a lot and for some reason he closed his eyes every time I did any type of those things. His grip was tight, like as if it hurt to grab me. I simply told him that I was worried for all that; he didn’t give me a right reason of what or why.

His family was very nice, but a bit broken. His mom though was very nice, she loved to talk… it was when he wasn’t there when she said something and turned the page quickly on what she was saying… “One day he was a very happy boy, being silly as he was… then poof… BUT ALL IS WELL EVERYTHING IS FINE FINE FINE NOTHING IS WRONG” that was my very first red flag I saw and hit me in the face. After that I became weary of my steps… and I found the cut marks on his arms, he always had long shirts cause of work even when it was summer. He didn’t sleep; I saw his eyes having black bags slowly. He cried, oh god he cried a lot.

I confronted him one day. He didn’t tell me what was going on. I was getting tired of all the mystery and I was worrying a lot, it was affecting me even. I lost weight, I didn’t eat a lot. I could pass an entire day just holding with jello in the morning and a sausage at night… and gallons of coffee.

Almost hitting November and a dear friend of mine called me one day out of the blue. He was really worried for me, not because I was slim or whatever he wasn’t even in the same city. He came directly with this “He asked me about your past, he didn’t say anything just asked for X person… I’m worried for you” that TO THE DATE send chills up my spine. I was angry and very disappointed. I confronted him showing him the text and he turned white almost and his only answer was “I just want to know what kind of person you are…” I then knew that his X had the same problem, he started digging up the past and found things about her.

New years passed and I thought that things worked out after we talked about it.

I fell ill and went for an entire day in the hospital, all that stress and lack of food on my system. I was in bed after getting back from the hospital and called him… no answer. It went for a full day… I was really worried.

6 am… I receive a note from him on Facebook. It was a list, which I didn’t even bother to read, with all what he dug up of me. He found my old blogs, my art blogs, my fotologs, he looked up names, places… Then he answered the call.

I packed his things in a box, and left it on the side of the door.

I think the most baffling thing he did was picking up his things… but NOT BEFORE to read a letter he did for me about HOW he stopped loving me after what he found out about me. Like if it wasn’t crazy enough… he had a script for me to hear. He left and I cried hard… it made me feel so damn miserable and it made me think I was the worse person ever.

Months passed and he kept lurking me… letters randomly getting in the middle of the night, addressed to my family members. Emails about random things. Gifts left at the doorstep of my office. He sat on a bench on a park near my office, just to see me pass by.

Don’t get me wrong… I did care for him. When I knew he had a problem I took him to a doctor. I talked to him about his problems. I worried for him a lot… he spoke of suicide like it was something magical… I did do everything in my hands to help.

But I don’t think his thing was depression…I think it was more obsession. He needed of someone to feel pity for him. He tried to drag me in his game to deform me in something I wasn’t. He was in love with someone he thought I was and he discovered I was someone completely different.

He also said once “Well doesn’t matter I know what KIND of person you are and now I have to deal with that” in a very disgusted way. He didn’t have to though. If something isn’t working for the best of both of you just leave it, it was not a healthy relation…

It didn’t end quickly though… I never DID see him again. Not that I recall. Beside the random letters… I got random emails. Always in my birthday though. This ended on 2011; he kept emailing me till this year. I never answered, I had it on spam. I thought it be the best thing to ignore him. I sent him the only and last email, because my fiancé was starting to get angry with his drama… he did respond but to be honest I imagine it was the same gibberish he wrote about HIM being a pain (which he was) but yeah that was that… or I hope.

My brother had him on his Feed on Facebook… he got tired of him a couple of years ago, he said that it was more than obvious that he was still obsessed over me.

Earlier on 2014 a guy I knew started to talk randomly with me again, turns out he just wanted to know if I met this guy he was lurking on his Rolplaying group. He spoke of someone that sounded FAMILIAR to him and went just to me and asked if I knew him. I found funny that now the character that was the one that saved him was ME. He just asked me what I did to him, he was really messed up. My only honest response was “I found him that way; I couldn’t do anything to help him, and if someone is interested on him just … RUN VERY FAR and save yourself”

What I learned?

I was lucky I had someone that stood beside me at the last moments, and I was lucky to know everything in time. I was simply lucky he didn’t do anything to me.

To be honest this relationship puzzled me for a long time, sometimes in very random moments I recall something and drags me back to the … what actually happen to him to be like that? Every time I bumped with a post about mental disorders I wondered what was going on in his head. I tried to study a bit on my free time at work but it only puzzled me more… Sometimes the best thing one can do, when you can’t do much, is leave it to a professional… one honestly can’t help but just support the person.

My conscience is clear though, I did what I could. I offered what I had. If someone won’t accept it and just keeps digging himself just leave this person be. Make yourself a mental note… sometimes don’t let yourself be dragged in to a personal Hell.

Before taking care of someone, take care of yourself. No one is more important than yourself; you are stuck with your body, your spirit and your mind. Don’t let yourself ROT.