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joe-wright — Default
#cyberpunk #dystopia #ffm #scifi #trans #ffm2018 #sciencefiction
Published: 2018-07-31 23:20:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 711; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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JN113 studied her own face on the missing person poster. She almost wanted to laugh at the waste of time it represented – even if the world at large cared about a runaway Default, there were hundreds of people wearing the exact same face in this city alone.


She raised her hood as rain started to shower from the misty neon heights. As much as her new friends tried to tell her otherwise, until she could afford the surgery, she'd always be a missing person. A blank space where something unique and beautiful should be.


She ran into her father on the way to her boyfriend's apartment, and the guilt was almost overwhelming. He looked exhausted, and appeared have been searching tirelessly, putting up posters on every surface. His heartbreak was clear to see.


“May I?” he asked, as he'd likely asked dozens of people already. She rolled up her sleeve and let him scan her fractacode. She'd had it altered, obviously, but she was nervous; it hadn't been tested in practice.


Her father looked disappointed. He hadn't recognised her.


“If you hear anything about JN113, please, please call me,” he said, pointing to the vox number on the poster in her hand.


She nodded, and turned away quickly before the welling tears could spill. Her parents had made themselves identical and submitted themselves to a system that would manage their lives, loves and jobs with objectivity and holism. It was easy to see the appeal of a lifestyle that prioritised safety and the illusion of providence.


Janey screwed up the poster and dropped it to the wet pavement. She had made her choice, and it would be the first of many.



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Comments: 14

TheSkaBoss [2019-07-30 21:27:12 +0000 UTC]

oh yay I love her and I love this

-Lyrrie

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WizardandGalaxy [2019-05-26 23:56:39 +0000 UTC]

This is such an interesting take on a dystopia!  Very well done!

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squanpie [2018-09-18 13:08:24 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful use of the prompts. The first paragraph is my favourite part in its entirety - how much of the setting you imply in just those few words is incredible! 

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xlntwtch [2018-08-04 16:21:57 +0000 UTC]

Seen on LitRecognition 's feature, I'm glad I read this. The pathos, irony and subject are all timeless and well done. Thanks. (:

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joe-wright In reply to xlntwtch [2018-08-07 20:37:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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SCFrankles [2018-08-02 23:21:34 +0000 UTC]

Echoing your other commenters - you make such good use of your assigned item. And the use of dramatic irony is perfect. The accidental meeting between Janey and her father is just heartbreaking, but at the same time it explains so much about this world and why Janey is prepared to cut herself off from her parents. 

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joe-wright In reply to SCFrankles [2018-08-07 20:39:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I wasn't totally sure if it counted as dramatic irony so I added the consequence of the encounter steeling her resolve in order to ensure his words had the opposite effect to their intent. It's a weird thing to play around with, definitely an interesting challenge!

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PennedinWhite [2018-08-02 20:02:08 +0000 UTC]

A wonderful read. Well done!

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joe-wright In reply to PennedinWhite [2018-08-07 20:39:43 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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PennedinWhite In reply to joe-wright [2018-08-07 21:12:29 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure!

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GDeyke [2018-08-02 08:51:29 +0000 UTC]

The worldbuilding is excellent in here - and so is the emotion. Very good use of dramatic irony.

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joe-wright In reply to GDeyke [2018-08-07 20:41:53 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm glad the emotion comes through, I was vaguely worried that having the characters be essentially identical blank slates might take away from that somehow, but I think that was more in terms of the images in my head. It's good to know it worked as I'd hoped!

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ilyilaice [2018-08-01 18:31:05 +0000 UTC]

Great concept, great execution. I love how the ending echoes the beginning, but the change is apparent.

The element of the missing person poster is so well-integrated here.

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joe-wright In reply to ilyilaice [2018-08-01 19:11:28 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! The challenge elements just seemed to want to fit together something like this - it took quite a while to figure out the exact shape of the story, but once I'd got it down I was pretty happy with it!

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