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Panic the Pangolin instinctively curled into a ball at the sight of the giant head of his arch-foe, Dr Moustachio, looming above his treehouse in the form of a lime-green hologram. Its booming laugh startled all of Panic's animal friends to attention: Trunks, the elephant with two trunks; Elbows the Aardvark, who had spiky elbows and could glide for some reason; and Rose, who was also a pangolin, but pink and wearing a dress so you knew she was a girl.
Dr Moustachio's hologram reared back and grinned, his prodigious facial hair clipping through the trees and scaring away some birds.
“So good to see you again, pangoloser – for the pango-last time, that is!”
Panic watched with one eye open from behind his tail.
“You may have defeated me three times before,” said the hologram, “but there'll be no running from me this time. There's only one way you can save the world now...”
A shadow fell over the Opal Cliff Zone as the world held its breath.
“Winning a series of go-kart races!” cackled the hologram, before turning into an image of a racetrack, complete with hazards and cool ramps, gently spinning and bobbing in the air.
Panic looked at his friends, then back at the hologram.
“Wait, what?” he said.
The hologram turned back into a head. “You heard me. Unless you can defeat your friends in a go-kart league I've devised, and win these fabulous trophies, I will take over the planet.”
Panic had prevented Dr Moustachio from taking over the planet several times, in three exhilirating quests that critics had described as 'blisteringly fast' and 'the Dark Souls of the platform genre'. Nothing like this had ever come up before.
He shook his head at his friends in bewilderment.
“Do we – Should we just like, go beat him up again?” he asked.
Rose gasped. “You can't do that!”
“She's right,” agreed Elbows, in Steve Blum's voice. “After a trilogy of acclaimed adventures, the next one is always go-karting. It's just what happens.”
Panic chose his next sentence very carefully.
“Whyyyy,” he said.
A big holographic tear splashed down on top of him.
“No reason,” squeaked Dr Moustachio.
“I know why,” said Trunks. “I never forget a birthday!”
They all went go-karting and Dr Moustachio felt a lot better. The next year was a poorly-received selection of party games, and the Panic the Pangolin franchise was put on indefinite hiatus until the mid 2000s when he was rebooted and had an assault rifle.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Panic the Pangolin instinctively curled into a ball at the sight of the giant head of his arch-foe, Dr Moustachio, looming above his treehouse in the form of a lime-green hologram. Its booming laugh startled all of Panic's animal friends to attention: Trunks, the elephant with two trunks; Elbows the Aardvark, who had spiky elbows and could glide for some reason; and Rose, who was also a pangolin, but pink and wearing a dress so you knew she was a girl.
Dr Moustachio's hologram reared back and grinned, his prodigious facial hair clipping through the trees and scaring away some birds.
“So good to see you again, pangoloser – for the pango-last time, that is!”
Panic watched with one eye open from behind his tail.
“You may have defeated me three times before,” said the hologram, “but there'll be no running from me this time. There's only one way you can save the world now...”
A shadow fell over the Opal Cliff Zone as the world held its breath.
“Winning a series of go-kart races!” cackled the hologram, before turning into an image of a racetrack, complete with hazards and cool ramps, gently spinning and bobbing in the air.
Panic looked at his friends, then back at the hologram.
“Wait, what?” he said.
The hologram turned back into a head. “You heard me. Unless you can defeat your friends in a go-kart league I've devised, and win these fabulous trophies, I will take over the planet.”
Panic had prevented Dr Moustachio from taking over the planet several times, in three exhilirating quests that critics had described as 'blisteringly fast' and 'the Dark Souls of the platform genre'. Nothing like this had ever come up before.
He shook his head at his friends in bewilderment.
“Do we – Should we just like, go beat him up again?” he asked.
Rose gasped. “You can't do that!”
“She's right,” agreed Elbows, in Steve Blum's voice. “After a trilogy of acclaimed adventures, the next one is always go-karting. It's just what happens.”
Panic chose his next sentence very carefully.
“Whyyyy,” he said.
A big holographic tear splashed down on top of him.
“No reason,” squeaked Dr Moustachio.
“I know why,” said Trunks. “I never forget a birthday!”
They all went go-karting and Dr Moustachio felt a lot better. The next year was a poorly-received selection of party games, and the Panic the Pangolin franchise was put on indefinite hiatus until the mid 2000s when he was rebooted and had an assault rifle.