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Chapter two:  Spoken truth

My breath suddenly became terribly uneven. Fear, had me by the throat. Perhaps it didn’t want me to breath at all. Maybe this was a sign to escape from the world by means of unconsciousness.
Because of the rapid loss of air, my legs buckled and collapsed. It was practically in the same exact way that I fell yesterday afternoon. Yesterday seems like such a life time ago. Oh yesterday. Let the world stop and turn back to the day before it.
Nah. That’ll never work. If I was thrown into  this mess. God, or whatever, has decided to punish me for some reason. Why would he…she….whatever, give me an easy loop hole.
…Can one bribe God? If so, I think I have to get some type of offer together.
“Lilac!” asked Monoa dipping to a knee. “Are you alright?”
I looked over my shoulder wide-eyed.  “Was it really trying to kill me?” I breathed. He looked me in the eye and answered so bluntly that my blood froze.
“He’s tried before.”
It took me a few seconds to respond. In those seconds, so many things happened. The world froze, my fingers tingled, and suddenly, my stomach seemed to swallow itself. But then, some type of force brought me back to my senses. I’m sure it wasn’t bravery that did it.
“What do you mean?” I sighed, trying my best not to look surprised. It would have worked if my eye wasn’t twitching so much. He responded by  reaching down and grabbing hold of my arm. At first I flinched a little, but I forgot how strong he was and went along with it.
He pointed to an old scar that ran from my right shoulder to my elbow. “How did you get this?” he asked tracing it. I squinted at him. He’s so damn touchie-feelie.
“A dog scratched me when I was young!” I snapped tearing my arm away. I clambered to my feet. “And please don’t touch me like that, will you?”
Did I just say that? Holy Crap! I am a jerk! I’m a genuine feminist jerk…!
“Very well,” he sighed getting to his feet “but may I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I was about to say sorry two seconds later. But I had to let out my inner womanly beast. Seeing how it was actually difficult for me to stand up for myself in this respect. I’d say my inner beast is a squirrel.
“Did you ever own a dog?”
“No. It was neighbors dog.”
“Do you remember being scratched brutally by your neighbors dog?”
“…Not exactly. I told you, I was young.”
He knelt down again. “I know you don’t intend on me demonstrating for you.” he raised his eyes “Seeing that you’d rather not have me in arms length.” he looked down at the hawk again, “but if you were to put one of his talons to your arm, it would be an exact match.”
I scrunched my mouth to the side and snorted. “This was all planned wasn’t it?” I laughed out while poking at the dead talon. “Yeah! Just perch the dead thing in a tree and wait for the right moment. Then just relate it to some event I can’t remember!” I put the talon to the scar as the jerk had instructed.
“See! It’s-”
It was a pretty good match. So I shut up.
“Alright, I‘ll give you credit for that. But, what about this?” I asked dropping it heavy into the dirt. “Who’s to say that a dogs claws aren’t as big as a hawks.”
“Legitimate idea, indeed.” said Monoa picking up the hawk. “But, dogs don‘t scratch,” he flipped the talon upside down and traced it along the scar for a perfect match. “like that.”
Once again, I was thrown into an awkward silence. I blinked a few times to try and clear my head, but it didn’t work. I sighed finally and got to my feet. “Would it upset you if I still thought of you as a bunch of figments of my imagination with the intention to ruin my life?”
“Not really,” shrugged Jillian. Justin put up a hand and coughed. “Actually” he said raising it higher “I am only supposed to be addressed as Baby, Honey, Stud or, in Jillian’s instance My cookie shnookie coo-coo bean!”
“How about-” Jillian said before she whapped him over the mouth. He let out a small whimper. Jillian smirked and crossed her arms at him.
After the small incident, I glared down at the hawk again. Eyes were piercing the side of my face. I found it out to be Monoa.  I forced a sigh and glanced back down at the hawk. “…I still don’t believe it.” I whispered.
He raised his chin in the air a little and examined me. “Do you realize what has been done to you?”
I only allowed my eyes to snap over to him in a sharp glare of question. He tilted his head towards them, unaffected. “You’re wearing a necklace around your neck, are you not?”
Without breaking eye contact, I ran a finger against it to check if it was still there. Slowly, I nodded, he nodded back. “Take it off, and you can tell as many lies as you’d like.”
“What?” I stammered municipally confused. “What do you mean?”
Out of nowhere, A bright shinning rose diamond was thrust under my nose. I followed the arm up until I reached Jillian with smile on her face.
“We switched your necklace for another one.” she said opening my numb hand and dropping the necklace inside. “You’re wearing a truth stone.”
“Truth stone?” I echoed looking down the sparkling teardrop shaped wonder. Anger pierced me so terribly that I shot to my feet growling at them. “How dare you take this off of me!” I snapped ripping off the fake piece of crap with a snap of its chain of lies. I threw it to the ground in fury.
As soon as I did, I felt like sobbing.
Slowly, I raised my hand to cup my cheek. Carefully, I ran my hand over my mouth and dropped it over my lips whispering sorry twenty times over.
Someone said once or twice that being nice is nothing more than choosing how you hide your feelings. You can hate someone, but not saying anything about it makes you nice. My heart sunk, truth shouldn’t feel like such and open soar.
Monoa straightened up taller and eyed me again. He seemed to filled with a glee of some sort of pity. But according to my law, he was damn well proud of scaring the crap out of me. Again.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked a bit more weakly this time. His eyes sparkled for a moment. “You lie too much.”
“How would you determine something like that when you don’t even know me?”
“But we do  know you.”
“No you don’t!”
“Believe as you wish. But we know.”
“Then…Then…Unknow it!” I threw a hand over my heart “don’t I have a right to some ounce of privacy?!?”
“The more we don’t know, the more we get tricked.” he thrust his hands into his pockets “The more we get tricked, the more people get hurt.” he pointed at my scar “we were tricked before and we intend to never do it again.”
“What happened that day? If you’re so damn sure about it.”
“You’re not ready to know.”
“So why did you bring it up!”
“Don’t snap at me.”
I dropped my jaw and slowly closed it again. His eyes narrowed. “The necklace landed on your foot.”
My eyes dropped. He was right, in my shock I moved my foot over it. No wonder I was yelling. I squinted my eyes shut and backed away from it. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You weren’t doing anything wrong.”
I stayed silent.
“That’s enough Monoa.” snapped Jillian pushing him aside. “C’mon Lilac.”
She grabbed my arm and lead me quickly away from the man. The others trailed behind. I looked over my shoulder to find that Monoa had stayed behind. Slowly, dipped down, picked up the necklace, kissed it, and dropped it in his pocket.
I kept it to myself. I was afraid to speak.
“Don’t pay any attention to that. It was way too soon to do that.” she sighed “Way way too soon.”
“Why did you do it?”
“It’s an easy way to get answers.” she glanced over “I told you, you have to learn to trust us. So instead of trying to earn your trust, we brought it out of you.”
That’s a freaking cruel way of doing things.
“Ok,” I mustered with every ounce of happy in my voice, “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“Stop. Aplogizing!”
“Sorry! Gomen! Lo Siento!”
“Oye!”
“Oye!” I answered swinging my head over my shoulder. James straightened up slightly. “What are you yelling at me for?”
“You’re standing right in front of me.” I answered starring at the buttons of his shirt.
“You’re also heading right for a bush.”
I snapped forward again and thanked him. He looked up from a tree grinning brightly “Oh, James, show her to her room.” asked Monoa suddenly.
“What!” he snapped his head down and  looked back and forth between myself and him. He heaved his shoulders and gave in.
“Ok, but if she kills me, it’s on your account.” he waved me over to him. Hesitantly I followed, but clenched my fingernails into my palm.
“Down there,” he said pointed into the hole in the ground.
“James!” scolded Monoa. The stalker wrinkled his nose for a moment and seemed to grumble something. He sighed again and waved
“Ok ok! Follow me.” he swung his foot into the gap and started climbing underground “there’s a latter!” echoed his voice.
I felt the cool steel with my barefoot and shakily sunk lower into the ground as well. As soon as I met with the bottom James stood with his back to me. We were in a small room, six cots sat on the wall, three on each side riding up to the dome ceiling. There was a small door with a pantry on one side and a bathroom on the other. Florescent lights flickered and snapped above us.
“Home sweet home,” he sighed “your cots in the middle right there.” he pointed over to the left side of the room.
“Ok,” I murmured. A deep, thick, unsettling silence limped between us. We both looked up, and I went out first.
“Like?” asked Jillian as I came out of the entrance.
“Cozy,” I answered glaring playfully at Monoa.
He hummed out a laugh and got to his feet.
“Now, I think some savaging is in order.” he pointed to Jillian and Dru “you two, take Lilac back to her house so she can get what she needs.” he looked over to the rest of them “as for you guys,  get firewood we’re camping tonight!”
The boys nodded and started tracking through the woods. Jillian and Dru looked over at me.
“Oh!” said Monoa “give Lilac some clothes.”
Jillian nodded and jumped down into the hole. I followed carefully and was just in time to have a blue skirt and a white blouse tossed into me.
“I don’t think my pants’ll fit you. You know, you being so…”
“Short?” I answered walking into the new bathroom. How the Hell did they get pluming! Jesus I don’t want to know!
As soon as I was set, we made tracks in the opposite way of the guys.
So!” I inquired walking next to the two forced friends “how do you guys stay alive here?”
“What do you mean?” asked Jillian seeming a little insulted if anything. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me a bit more sternly.
“Well, food and stuff.” I explained. “Oh! We all work.” She said suddenly snapping back into a friendly state. I animated an attack with my hands. “But what about the whole idea of homicidal spirits attacking you at every turn?”
“That only happens if we give ourselves away.” she explained looking forward again.
“Ah, a superman theory. Do go on.”
“Um…Well. See, we have a way to contain our souls into a normal state.”
“Right.”
“Should something come along, the soul will become stronger and have it’s own impulses that eventually take over us. And since Chen is basically dead, all he can feel us souls. And sometimes, the ancient instincts of the inner soul take over and reveal itself. Almost like their challenging him.”
“Possessed by your own soul?”
“It’s not like possession. It’s more like an awakening.”
“Ah, excuse me.”
“Why don’t you believe us?” cooed a small voice. Dru had spoken for the first time. She had a gentle tone that was unlike the loud and sparkly ones of  the rest of them. “have you enough proof as it is?”
I remained quiet. Jillian dropped open her jaw and slowly looked over to her.
“D-Dru! You talked!”
The raven haired beauty slowly looked up at her and pierced her eyes into mine. She suddenly sounded very hurt, so it also pierced guilt into my heart.
“A thousand would give up the chance to become a hero…Because they don’t search for a change in their life.” she said stopping “So are you willing to change? Are you a part of a trillion who want their life to change. To be recognized. To be a hero.”
I still couldn’t say a word, I shook my head slightly and felt like shrinking. Or possibly crawling into a small hole in the ground. Humph! Seems I should run back to the shelter about now. I tried to slowly slink away. But that was rude. Wasn’t it? I had to listen to the girl who’s had a vow of silence.
Of course, there’s my luck for you. The chick gives up the vow of silence just to yell at me.
“Do you realize how important you are? Do you realize how long we’ve been waiting for you? Our whole lives!” she turned away, her voice dropped lower, colder. “James said you were sincere and kind in school. We all believed you would accept this whole heartily, as if you knew it was your role. You‘re a liar! A coward to accept things that arrive without meaning! A world rides on some comfort level of pathetic security and to normalize. And you‘re wrapped up in all that false comfort like a flightless dove.”
“It’s too much.” I whispered back and gasped in a breath “it’s impossible. You can’t just expect me to find this true! It‘s crazy!” I walked up to her “I woke up this morning in the middle of the woods with a unicorn and got a whole unexplainable story followed by a bunch of other unexplainable piles of garbage! My head hurts, I’m hungry, and I want to go home! This- isn’t- real! Even if it is, count me out!” I tore my shoulder away and started tracking.
“So you’re going allow thousands to die just because you don’t want to accept it!”
“Dru, that’s enough.” murmured Jillian .
“No!” she snapped back walking up to me “It’s denial, and the only thing to do is to hit her with the truth as fast as possible! All of you have been so viciously safe and sweet that it’s only giving her more reason to lie to herself!”
“Dru!”
“Denial! ” I laughed.
“You little-” she squinted at me “you’ve got a lot of nerve!”
I stormed off, but her thin hands swung me back to face her. Suddenly,  she stuck the side of my face. I stopped dead and stammered on the back of my heals.
“Hawks eat flightless doves! You better believe this and you better believe it immediately! I’m am not letting you out of the woods otherwise!”
“Dru!” snapped Jillian holding her back. I cupped the side of my face in horror. Dru closed her eyes and snapped her head away. She continued.
“If you don’t want to believe us, if you want remain as judgmental as you are, then you’ll only live for seconds in an attack. ” she narrowed her eyes “and they will try and kill you.. They have! And the day will come where there will be nothing to shield you.“
There was a pause between us as the sting of the slap to my cheek slowly died down.
“Let’s go.” she ordered walking ahead of the two of us. Jillian gave me a cold stare and followed after her. Just then, they both stopped, starring at the sky.
The two looked at me coldly still as I strode past them. For some reason, among the events that had occurred, we began to talk. We spoke nothing of it, and I kept my cheek turned from Dru at all costs. It was Jillian’s idea. She seemed to be a peace keeper.
We jumped topics. Everyone was employed in a different position of work. Jillian is a cashier at a videogame store. Dru, a tutor for elementary students. Justin is a waiter at Fridays. Joe, a valet parker trying to earn a degree in auto repair. And James is an assistant fencing instructor.
“Work,” I murmured “I did have a summer job as a babysitter.”
“No, babysitter wont work. We all have to be close by.  We all work around the borders of the park. Check out what you see once we get there.” ordered Jillian.
“Ok.”
We kept walking until was came to the deep end of Walden Park. Traveling onward, we made it to the sidewalk and eventually the shopping complex.
“Waitress?”
“No! Justin hates it! And he LIKES looking like a Jackass. Don’t do it!” ordered Jillian.
“…Oh.”
“Besides, I don’t think your much of a people person.”
“Hey! You don’t know a thing a-”
“-I meant in the sense that you shouldn’t be around too many random people! It’s dangerous!”
“So I guess daycare centers out huh?”
“Gone.” she said with a leaving gesture. I shrugged in return.
“Lilac?” called a voice behind us suddenly I tried to see who it was, but Jillian held me still.
“Keep walking.”
“Lilac!” called the voice again. Jillian jabbed my side and pushed me forward.
“Keep walking!”
Soon the voice gave up and clicking heals about-faced and traveled away. Jillian removed my arm and I looked at the back of her head.
“Mom…!” I whispered loudly. Jillian slapped my arm and pushed me around a corner.
“Do you want to make this harder or what?” she asked once she was sure we were out of sight and ear of my mother.
“But that was-!” I stopped myself and dropped my voice sadly “I can’t let her know, can I?”
She shook her head “it’s going to be problem now that she saw us. Hopefully she wont remember this once they start looking for you.”
“So, why didn’t you call your mother one of those figment insults?” asked Dru turning her stare darkly onto mine. She smiled with a sense of satisfaction “seems that you have a case of schizophrenia.” she turned her back to me and started crossing the street. “what’s real Lilac?”
I looked at her as she disappeared behind a group of bushes. I hugged my sides.
“Where’s your Mom going?” asked Jillian as we resumed walking.
“She’s off to work.”
“Where?”
“She’s a real estate agent.”
“Good, that places is on the other side of town.”
“Yeah, she takes the bus.”
“Ok, which ways your house?”
I pointed over into the distance “Umbrage Passage.”
“Oh, you live in that lake development huh?”
“Yeah…”
We walked through town. Eventually, we came to my street, my road, and my house.
“Nice place!” said Jillian putting her hands on her hips “anyone home?”
“No.” I took out my necklace, on it was my key, and my diamond rose.
“Look. We‘re sorry about that necklace!” said Jillian looking at my sad expression. “Why is that thing so important to you. You shouldn’t base so much on possessions”
“But this one’s special.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because of where it came from.”
“And that was?” she asked.
“Found it when I was really young in a sandbox.” I looked down at it slowly. “I used to think it was good luck.”
Dru stared at me again, I ignored her. I didn’t want to be proven wrong, I never have been, in this case.
I unlocked the door and entered. The two girls looked around in approval at the black and white stale place that was my house. Every wall, white. The high ceilings caging you in. Long black blocks decorated the room with a bland décor. The room was bright. But it only seemed to blur more white into the museum I lived in.  Eventually they got a change of setting when they entered my room.
They made their comments and eventually I tore out a number of unconscious outfits I owned from my closet. I used a practically ancient suitcase that was piled in one of our closets to store everything. I was just about to leave when I picked up a small book with a lilac painted on it.
“Can’t forget this.” I murmured.
“Is that your poetry book?”
“How’d you know?” I asked dropping it accidentally.
“James said you sat on your roof all the time and wrote in that. You threw a poem you didn’t like at him by mistake.”
“Which one?” I asked going pale.
“The man in shadow”
“HAH!” I exploded and placed my hands on my hips with a surprised chuckle.
“What?” asked Jillian.
“That one was about him!” I dropped the book again “oh no.”
“What!”
“I had Kyle in that one too.” I saw my cheeks going red in a mirror next to me.
“Oh! So that’s the destined solider of your heart?”
“Awwww shut up!” I cried clasping my hands over my face. Drus cool voice filled the room.

“Deep eyes drown into a dry pond. Another light falls into the dawn. And yet your still there in your own shadow, looking upon the hallow flower. Never look into the gems
That crystal hearts dare not speak. Hold close to your destined solider of your heart,
He’ll die in the war for the white rose. And yet amongst the shattered hearts sit the gems, still sparkling in a light you can’t see.”

Both our jaws were open.
“I love your poetry.” said Dru running her fingers along the edge of my rock fountain.
“Lie’s, grab a bathing suit too.” said Jillian returning to a normal state.
“Why’s that?”
“We’ll we can’t have flies around you!“ she pointed over her shoulder “there’s a sunny pond by the shelter, a purified place of perfect hygiene.””
“Group bath?” I asked blandly.
“The shelter didn’t come with anything bath wise. In the winter, we manage to heat the pond up.”
“How’s that?” I asked.
“Well all you have to do is-” Dru jabbed her in the side and she doubled over. “Nothing!” she squeaked.
“I don’t think I want to know.” I said packing my last few items.
I went to my bed and noticed my stuffed animal. A small unicorn doll that I had hardly gone a night without. It had been mine for a long time, and I hoped it to be my daughters. It was old and torn, but whenever it was with me, I always felt safe.
“Monoa,” I murmured picking it up chuckling “I wonder how he knew.”
I kissed the comfort item goodbye and took a last glance at my home. Running my hand along every wall, rubbing my toes into every inch of the rugs. Hearing the creak of the faulty part of the hardwood floor. I took in a deep breath and forced my chin in the air.
“Wait a second!” I announced running into my bathroom. Jillian and Dru stood puzzled until I returned with a case of colored contacts.
“I got these for Halloween, never used them though!”
“Perfect.” said Jillian opening the door. Dru was proud of herself again.
“Well, did you get all you goodbyes out?”
I nodded softly and took one last look. The door closed. I listened closely to every clank of the lock as I shut it away from me.
“I hope they don’t worry too much.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
My street seemed to have changed. It was no longer a path that was a reminder of the education I had to approach at the crack of dawn, nor was is the path of relief that welcomed me as that soothing arrow home for an exhausted high school student. No, now it was a path to forget. A path that was nothing. A slimly, greasy streak of industrial concrete, cold black coal. Boxes of the same house, one mocking the one behind it until there was no difference between homes and a Lego.
I wanted to forget this place, as if I was never there. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much to leave it behind if it meant nothing to me.
“Hmm.” said Jillian putting a finger to her chin. She seemed to be examining me.
“Yes?” I asked swerving away from her.
“Got any doe on you, Dru?”
“Um,” she stalled fingering through her pocket and yanked out a twenty. “yeah.”
“We should get this over with.” she replied taking the money. Dru stared at her coldly then reconsidered in question.
“You want to dye it now?”
“If she’s going to be here. Yeah!”
“Dye?” I asked grabbing the ends of my hair “do we have to?”
“Yeah…Or…” she took a handful of the chestnut ocean that was my hair and clicked her tongue in thought. “Oh, I don’t want to dry out this.” she said shaking it.
“Wig it?” asked Dru felling a section of it as well. I’ve always taken pride in my hair. My mother and I shared the perfect hair gene. The two seemed fascinated.
“Um.”
“Wig it.” agreed Jillian letting go.
Eventually, we made it into town again. A tinkling bell of greeting announced our arrival in MARIES HAIR AND COSMETICS. It stank of old ladies and poodles for some reason. Jillian was humming and clicking as she considered each wig.
“Blond would go good with the eyes.”
I twitched the side of my lip with a shrug and started to venture through the stringy masses of stranger’s colorized skin cells. At last, I stuck with a short strawberry blond. It wasn’t too shocking, but it made me look different at least.
“This is humiliating.” I murmured as I stared at my kooky blonde pretty girl image in the bathroom of a gas station nearby. Jillian swabbed another layer of foundation onto my face.
“It doesn’t suit you, but we can’t take our chances with anyone recognizing you. How are the contacts coming?”
I poked myself in the eye for the third consecutive time.
“Like a glove!”
After the gruesome plastic horror of honey-brown pigment installation, I looked like a new person. Worse, I looked like a preppy.
“Eep.”
“This went over better than I expected. Should we get you a cheerleading outfit?”
“Quite the nightmare, eh Lilac?” asked Dru.
“Shut up.” I ordered hunching my shoulders as I made my way out of the bathroom “I’m doing this for my own health, if that’s even believable.”
I kept my head down as we strolled along the streets of Walden. Every time any reminder of what was happening hit me, I forced it away with a squint. I was just walking through the streets (playing hooky) with some new friends of mine (who dressed me up like Brittany Spears’ wax double.)
“Contacts bothering you?” asked Jillian.
“I suppose.” I answered rubbing my eye. A silence grew between us and popped.  “I’m sorry I snapped at you Dru.” I said quietly looking over at her.
“You’re one to learn the hard way.”
Well. That was pointless.
“…Oh.” I looked forward again. We continued walking in a strange dibble of broken thoughts. Silence. Erie silence.
“I can’t stand this!” I finally broke out suddenly. It was so fierce that a bird flew away screaming. “OKAY! I’ll accept it! I’ll take it! Okay!”
Jillian snapped a hand over my mouth. “That’s great! But don’t draw attention to yourself. Shesh Dru! You can do an awful lot to people by doing nothing!”
“That’s the plan.” she answered.
We came back to the small place in the woods. Monoa was sitting on a small stump in the center of a large opening in the tress. A bright beam of light was peering down directly in front of him. Sparkling in the center of that beam was the false necklace. As soon as he saw us, he was a little startled, and shoved the jewel away.
“You two.” he said addressing Dru and Jillian. “Go help the boys.”
“Monoa! Dru talked!” exploded Jillian.
“She did?” he inquired. She nodded back. Dru looked between them, and walked away.
“She did!” argued Jillian. Monoa nodded slowly and watched her walk away. Jillian walked away as well. As soon as I went to follow her…
“Lilac. You stay here.”
I looked off to the side. I needed a break.
“Okay.” I said looking over my shoulder. Monoa pointed at the stump he was sitting on previously. “Sit.”
I darted my eyes around and slowly lowered myself down onto it. He crossed his arms behind him and leaned up against a tree across from me. “Tell me,” he began “if that hawk did kill you. Would you want it to happen.”
“What?”
“Do you want to stay alive?”
“Yes…” I answered a little worried. He lifted his head.
“Staying alive why? To come back this?” he tested.
“No, I wanted to-” my eyes struck open, he was grinning about walking me straight into a trap  “I wanted to stay alive for this. Everyone one- Dru, they seemed so dependent.”
He dropped his arms and starred me straight in the eye.
“I know what you’re doing.”
“What?”
“If you know what’s good for you, stop it now.”
After a long pause of silence, he spoke again.
“11:00 o’clock, we’re making good time.” he said walking off. “Follow me.“
I did. But  was mused in deep question for the curious shape shifting mass of energy. We were in a quiet isolated part of the woods. He turned to me and rested up against a tree “Lilac, I need to ask you something.”
“Yes…?”
“Tell me about those people over there.”
He pointed off into the distance, the group was sitting in semi circle on a number of stones. A pond was sparkling behind them, a small brook zigzagged through the area like crystal snakes and moss playing tag. Eventually they both crashed into the brim of the pond. The group was laughing and chattering like families would at thanksgiving dinner.
“Of them…?” I asked myself “They’re fine.”
“Lilac.” he had that look in his eyes again. “stop.”
“Stop what!”
He was silent. Moments later I was thinking.
I rewound that occurred between all of them. What each one had done thus far. Things always came back to Dru’s voice, and the pain in her eyes. The overwhelming guilt was piercing me. If there really was some type of reason or need for me, why don’t I make the best of it? First things first, I have to get the bad weight off my chest.
This…very bad weight…
Words just seemed to tumble out without control. Within seconds, I was murmuring something. He insisted that I repeat it louder. I mustered up my strength.
“I’m scared” I choked dropping to my knees. Tears billowed from nowhere. I was sobbing in moments. I realized I had been wanting to do such a thing for a while now. “I don’t know what to do…” I continued under my breath.
“Then do something” answered Monoa.
“Like what!” I demanded” if you have any ideas please share! I can’t stand this!”
“You’ve never been faced with such a thing. So it’s altering your mood outrageously. To an extent that not one thought can stay suspended for too long. The emotions cycle, twist, and then turn into a tornado of confusion. You don’t know how to behave because there’s no reason to.” he looked down at me “Am I correct?”
I nodded weakly. “So what do I do?”
“Breath…”
“What!”
“You’re going to just get some control over yourself.”
“I know.”
“But you’ve never lost control before.”
“I-I know.”
“So stop feeling so embarrassed.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I am.”
“So stop.”
“I’m trying.”
“Stop.”
“Okay.”
The conversation at the moment whizzed by like a dumb person trying to do a crossword puzzle. You sit there and stare. For a very. Long. Time. I sighed finally and looked up at him.
“What’s it like to be a soul?”
His eyes opened slightly wider. “…What do you mean?”
“You’re not human, right?”
“Correct.”
“So…You can’t feel pain, can you?”
“No.”
“That’s good,” I hunched over onto my knees “Can you feel anything?”
“No.”
I looked up at him with a sad look on my face. He seemed to respond to it. “You seemed happy about not feeling pain.”
I nodded “But that’s different from not feeling anything.”
“It’s nothing bad.”
“How would you know that if you can’t feel anything?”
“I can feel some things.”
We stood there for a few moments. He suddenly shot his hand up in the air.
“Smurf bite,” I laughed un pinching my fingers. He looked down at his thumb sourly.
“Why did you do that?”
I tilted my head to the side. “You said you couldn’t feel anything.”
“And you didn’t believe me?”
“Apparently I have the right now.” I looked up at him “Jillian told me about what you are…I’m sorry about that.”
“About what?”
“I’m guessing it’s a touchy subject but,” I looked down again “how you’re stranded here.”
“Speak for yourself.”
I chuckled a little “Yeah. I suppose that’s true.” I sighed “So I really have to stay here?”
“How many times must I explain this?”
“Okay okay…Then. In that case.” I stood up “I think now that I’m straighten out…I’ll try and talk to them.” I looked over at him “should I?”
“Why are you asking me?”
I shrugged “You seem to have a lot of answers in you.”
I dug my heals into the ground and wondered over to the small group by the rocks. They were talking about cars I think. Jillian noticed me approaching and they quieted down.
“Um…” I scratched the back of my head “Sorry about before…”
“About what?” asked Justin “And for the love of my aunts girdle, why the bleeding Hell do you keep saying sorry every five seconds!”
“It’s the good thing to do.”
“Yeah! But if you do it every five seconds. One, it makes you a total wimp! And B, how are people supposed to know when you’re actually sorry about something. They’ll be sitting there. All like, jaded. And little Lilac walks up and says sorry. And they’ll just say, Aw shit, just another day for Lilac to say sorry. And then it turns out on that particular day, the world explodes!”
“…Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Good theory.”
“It’s not a theory.”
“Oh s-
“Uhp!”
“Oh…Supper.”
“Good girl.”
“Not again,” I murmured under my breath. “Anyway…I guess I’ll stay here. I mean,” I shrugged “What choice do I have?”
“Ah, giving in I see.” asked Jillian. I nodded weakly. She smiled back.
“See, I tried to get that whole trust thing out of the way as soon as I could.”
I still didn’t trust them. I didn’t trust a living soul. That night, I was getting the Hell out of there.

Description
Chapter two:  Spoken truth

My breath suddenly became terribly uneven. Fear, had me by the throat. Perhaps it didn’t want me to breath at all. Maybe this was a sign to escape from the world by means of unconsciousness.
Because of the rapid loss of air, my legs buckled and collapsed. It was practically in the same exact way that I fell yesterday afternoon. Yesterday seems like such a life time ago. Oh yesterday. Let the world stop and turn back to the day before it.
Nah. That’ll never work. If I was thrown into  this mess. God, or whatever, has decided to punish me for some reason. Why would he…she….whatever, give me an easy loop hole.
…Can one bribe God? If so, I think I have to get some type of offer together.
“Lilac!” asked Monoa dipping to a knee. “Are you alright?”
I looked over my shoulder wide-eyed.  “Was it really trying to kill me?” I breathed. He looked me in the eye and answered so bluntly that my blood froze.
“He’s tried before.”
It took me a few seconds to respond. In those seconds, so many things happened. The world froze, my fingers tingled, and suddenly, my stomach seemed to swallow itself. But then, some type of force brought me back to my senses. I’m sure it wasn’t bravery that did it.
“What do you mean?” I sighed, trying my best not to look surprised. It would have worked if my eye wasn’t twitching so much. He responded by  reaching down and grabbing hold of my arm. At first I flinched a little, but I forgot how strong he was and went along with it.
He pointed to an old scar that ran from my right shoulder to my elbow. “How did you get this?” he asked tracing it. I squinted at him. He’s so damn touchie-feelie.
“A dog scratched me when I was young!” I snapped tearing my arm away. I clambered to my feet. “And please don’t touch me like that, will you?”
Did I just say that? Holy Crap! I am a jerk! I’m a genuine feminist jerk…!
“Very well,” he sighed getting to his feet “but may I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I was about to say sorry two seconds later. But I had to let out my inner womanly beast. Seeing how it was actually difficult for me to stand up for myself in this respect. I’d say my inner beast is a squirrel.
“Did you ever own a dog?”
“No. It was neighbors dog.”
“Do you remember being scratched brutally by your neighbors dog?”
“…Not exactly. I told you, I was young.”
He knelt down again. “I know you don’t intend on me demonstrating for you.” he raised his eyes “Seeing that you’d rather not have me in arms length.” he looked down at the hawk again, “but if you were to put one of his talons to your arm, it would be an exact match.”
I scrunched my mouth to the side and snorted. “This was all planned wasn’t it?” I laughed out while poking at the dead talon. “Yeah! Just perch the dead thing in a tree and wait for the right moment. Then just relate it to some event I can’t remember!” I put the talon to the scar as the jerk had instructed.
“See! It’s-”
It was a pretty good match. So I shut up.
“Alright, I‘ll give you credit for that. But, what about this?” I asked dropping it heavy into the dirt. “Who’s to say that a dogs claws aren’t as big as a hawks.”
“Legitimate idea, indeed.” said Monoa picking up the hawk. “But, dogs don‘t scratch,” he flipped the talon upside down and traced it along the scar for a perfect match. “like that.”
Once again, I was thrown into an awkward silence. I blinked a few times to try and clear my head, but it didn’t work. I sighed finally and got to my feet. “Would it upset you if I still thought of you as a bunch of figments of my imagination with the intention to ruin my life?”
“Not really,” shrugged Jillian. Justin put up a hand and coughed. “Actually” he said raising it higher “I am only supposed to be addressed as Baby, Honey, Stud or, in Jillian’s instance My cookie shnookie coo-coo bean!”
“How about-” Jillian said before she whapped him over the mouth. He let out a small whimper. Jillian smirked and crossed her arms at him.
After the small incident, I glared down at the hawk again. Eyes were piercing the side of my face. I found it out to be Monoa.  I forced a sigh and glanced back down at the hawk. “…I still don’t believe it.” I whispered.
He raised his chin in the air a little and examined me. “Do you realize what has been done to you?”
I only allowed my eyes to snap over to him in a sharp glare of question. He tilted his head towards them, unaffected. “You’re wearing a necklace around your neck, are you not?”
Without breaking eye contact, I ran a finger against it to check if it was still there. Slowly, I nodded, he nodded back. “Take it off, and you can tell as many lies as you’d like.”
“What?” I stammered municipally confused. “What do you mean?”
Out of nowhere, A bright shinning rose diamond was thrust under my nose. I followed the arm up until I reached Jillian with smile on her face.
“We switched your necklace for another one.” she said opening my numb hand and dropping the necklace inside. “You’re wearing a truth stone.”
“Truth stone?” I echoed looking down the sparkling teardrop shaped wonder. Anger pierced me so terribly that I shot to my feet growling at them. “How dare you take this off of me!” I snapped ripping off the fake piece of crap with a snap of its chain of lies. I threw it to the ground in fury.
As soon as I did, I felt like sobbing.
Slowly, I raised my hand to cup my cheek. Carefully, I ran my hand over my mouth and dropped it over my lips whispering sorry twenty times over.
Someone said once or twice that being nice is nothing more than choosing how you hide your feelings. You can hate someone, but not saying anything about it makes you nice. My heart sunk, truth shouldn’t feel like such and open soar.
Monoa straightened up taller and eyed me again. He seemed to filled with a glee of some sort of pity. But according to my law, he was damn well proud of scaring the crap out of me. Again.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked a bit more weakly this time. His eyes sparkled for a moment. “You lie too much.”
“How would you determine something like that when you don’t even know me?”
“But we do  know you.”
“No you don’t!”
“Believe as you wish. But we know.”
“Then…Then…Unknow it!” I threw a hand over my heart “don’t I have a right to some ounce of privacy?!?”
“The more we don’t know, the more we get tricked.” he thrust his hands into his pockets “The more we get tricked, the more people get hurt.” he pointed at my scar “we were tricked before and we intend to never do it again.”
“What happened that day? If you’re so damn sure about it.”
“You’re not ready to know.”
“So why did you bring it up!”
“Don’t snap at me.”
I dropped my jaw and slowly closed it again. His eyes narrowed. “The necklace landed on your foot.”
My eyes dropped. He was right, in my shock I moved my foot over it. No wonder I was yelling. I squinted my eyes shut and backed away from it. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You weren’t doing anything wrong.”
I stayed silent.
“That’s enough Monoa.” snapped Jillian pushing him aside. “C’mon Lilac.”
She grabbed my arm and lead me quickly away from the man. The others trailed behind. I looked over my shoulder to find that Monoa had stayed behind. Slowly, dipped down, picked up the necklace, kissed it, and dropped it in his pocket.
I kept it to myself. I was afraid to speak.
“Don’t pay any attention to that. It was way too soon to do that.” she sighed “Way way too soon.”
“Why did you do it?”
“It’s an easy way to get answers.” she glanced over “I told you, you have to learn to trust us. So instead of trying to earn your trust, we brought it out of you.”
That’s a freaking cruel way of doing things.
“Ok,” I mustered with every ounce of happy in my voice, “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“Stop. Aplogizing!”
“Sorry! Gomen! Lo Siento!”
“Oye!”
“Oye!” I answered swinging my head over my shoulder. James straightened up slightly. “What are you yelling at me for?”
“You’re standing right in front of me.” I answered starring at the buttons of his shirt.
“You’re also heading right for a bush.”
I snapped forward again and thanked him. He looked up from a tree grinning brightly “Oh, James, show her to her room.” asked Monoa suddenly.
“What!” he snapped his head down and  looked back and forth between myself and him. He heaved his shoulders and gave in.
“Ok, but if she kills me, it’s on your account.” he waved me over to him. Hesitantly I followed, but clenched my fingernails into my palm.
“Down there,” he said pointed into the hole in the ground.
“James!” scolded Monoa. The stalker wrinkled his nose for a moment and seemed to grumble something. He sighed again and waved
“Ok ok! Follow me.” he swung his foot into the gap and started climbing underground “there’s a latter!” echoed his voice.
I felt the cool steel with my barefoot and shakily sunk lower into the ground as well. As soon as I met with the bottom James stood with his back to me. We were in a small room, six cots sat on the wall, three on each side riding up to the dome ceiling. There was a small door with a pantry on one side and a bathroom on the other. Florescent lights flickered and snapped above us.
“Home sweet home,” he sighed “your cots in the middle right there.” he pointed over to the left side of the room.
“Ok,” I murmured. A deep, thick, unsettling silence limped between us. We both looked up, and I went out first.
“Like?” asked Jillian as I came out of the entrance.
“Cozy,” I answered glaring playfully at Monoa.
He hummed out a laugh and got to his feet.
“Now, I think some savaging is in order.” he pointed to Jillian and Dru “you two, take Lilac back to her house so she can get what she needs.” he looked over to the rest of them “as for you guys,  get firewood we’re camping tonight!”
The boys nodded and started tracking through the woods. Jillian and Dru looked over at me.
“Oh!” said Monoa “give Lilac some clothes.”
Jillian nodded and jumped down into the hole. I followed carefully and was just in time to have a blue skirt and a white blouse tossed into me.
“I don’t think my pants’ll fit you. You know, you being so…”
“Short?” I answered walking into the new bathroom. How the Hell did they get pluming! Jesus I don’t want to know!
As soon as I was set, we made tracks in the opposite way of the guys.
So!” I inquired walking next to the two forced friends “how do you guys stay alive here?”
“What do you mean?” asked Jillian seeming a little insulted if anything. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me a bit more sternly.
“Well, food and stuff.” I explained. “Oh! We all work.” She said suddenly snapping back into a friendly state. I animated an attack with my hands. “But what about the whole idea of homicidal spirits attacking you at every turn?”
“That only happens if we give ourselves away.” she explained looking forward again.
“Ah, a superman theory. Do go on.”
“Um…Well. See, we have a way to contain our souls into a normal state.”
“Right.”
“Should something come along, the soul will become stronger and have it’s own impulses that eventually take over us. And since Chen is basically dead, all he can feel us souls. And sometimes, the ancient instincts of the inner soul take over and reveal itself. Almost like their challenging him.”
“Possessed by your own soul?”
“It’s not like possession. It’s more like an awakening.”
“Ah, excuse me.”
“Why don’t you believe us?” cooed a small voice. Dru had spoken for the first time. She had a gentle tone that was unlike the loud and sparkly ones of  the rest of them. “have you enough proof as it is?”
I remained quiet. Jillian dropped open her jaw and slowly looked over to her.
“D-Dru! You talked!”
The raven haired beauty slowly looked up at her and pierced her eyes into mine. She suddenly sounded very hurt, so it also pierced guilt into my heart.
“A thousand would give up the chance to become a hero…Because they don’t search for a change in their life.” she said stopping “So are you willing to change? Are you a part of a trillion who want their life to change. To be recognized. To be a hero.”
I still couldn’t say a word, I shook my head slightly and felt like shrinking. Or possibly crawling into a small hole in the ground. Humph! Seems I should run back to the shelter about now. I tried to slowly slink away. But that was rude. Wasn’t it? I had to listen to the girl who’s had a vow of silence.
Of course, there’s my luck for you. The chick gives up the vow of silence just to yell at me.
“Do you realize how important you are? Do you realize how long we’ve been waiting for you? Our whole lives!” she turned away, her voice dropped lower, colder. “James said you were sincere and kind in school. We all believed you would accept this whole heartily, as if you knew it was your role. You‘re a liar! A coward to accept things that arrive without meaning! A world rides on some comfort level of pathetic security and to normalize. And you‘re wrapped up in all that false comfort like a flightless dove.”
“It’s too much.” I whispered back and gasped in a breath “it’s impossible. You can’t just expect me to find this true! It‘s crazy!” I walked up to her “I woke up this morning in the middle of the woods with a unicorn and got a whole unexplainable story followed by a bunch of other unexplainable piles of garbage! My head hurts, I’m hungry, and I want to go home! This- isn’t- real! Even if it is, count me out!” I tore my shoulder away and started tracking.
“So you’re going allow thousands to die just because you don’t want to accept it!”
“Dru, that’s enough.” murmured Jillian .
“No!” she snapped back walking up to me “It’s denial, and the only thing to do is to hit her with the truth as fast as possible! All of you have been so viciously safe and sweet that it’s only giving her more reason to lie to herself!”
“Dru!”
“Denial! ” I laughed.
“You little-” she squinted at me “you’ve got a lot of nerve!”
I stormed off, but her thin hands swung me back to face her. Suddenly,  she stuck the side of my face. I stopped dead and stammered on the back of my heals.
“Hawks eat flightless doves! You better believe this and you better believe it immediately! I’m am not letting you out of the woods otherwise!”
“Dru!” snapped Jillian holding her back. I cupped the side of my face in horror. Dru closed her eyes and snapped her head away. She continued.
“If you don’t want to believe us, if you want remain as judgmental as you are, then you’ll only live for seconds in an attack. ” she narrowed her eyes “and they will try and kill you.. They have! And the day will come where there will be nothing to shield you.“
There was a pause between us as the sting of the slap to my cheek slowly died down.
“Let’s go.” she ordered walking ahead of the two of us. Jillian gave me a cold stare and followed after her. Just then, they both stopped, starring at the sky.
The two looked at me coldly still as I strode past them. For some reason, among the events that had occurred, we began to talk. We spoke nothing of it, and I kept my cheek turned from Dru at all costs. It was Jillian’s idea. She seemed to be a peace keeper.
We jumped topics. Everyone was employed in a different position of work. Jillian is a cashier at a videogame store. Dru, a tutor for elementary students. Justin is a waiter at Fridays. Joe, a valet parker trying to earn a degree in auto repair. And James is an assistant fencing instructor.
“Work,” I murmured “I did have a summer job as a babysitter.”
“No, babysitter wont work. We all have to be close by.  We all work around the borders of the park. Check out what you see once we get there.” ordered Jillian.
“Ok.”
We kept walking until was came to the deep end of Walden Park. Traveling onward, we made it to the sidewalk and eventually the shopping complex.
“Waitress?”
“No! Justin hates it! And he LIKES looking like a Jackass. Don’t do it!” ordered Jillian.
“…Oh.”
“Besides, I don’t think your much of a people person.”
“Hey! You don’t know a thing a-”
“-I meant in the sense that you shouldn’t be around too many random people! It’s dangerous!”
“So I guess daycare centers out huh?”
“Gone.” she said with a leaving gesture. I shrugged in return.
“Lilac?” called a voice behind us suddenly I tried to see who it was, but Jillian held me still.
“Keep walking.”
“Lilac!” called the voice again. Jillian jabbed my side and pushed me forward.
“Keep walking!”
Soon the voice gave up and clicking heals about-faced and traveled away. Jillian removed my arm and I looked at the back of her head.
“Mom…!” I whispered loudly. Jillian slapped my arm and pushed me around a corner.
“Do you want to make this harder or what?” she asked once she was sure we were out of sight and ear of my mother.
“But that was-!” I stopped myself and dropped my voice sadly “I can’t let her know, can I?”
She shook her head “it’s going to be problem now that she saw us. Hopefully she wont remember this once they start looking for you.”
“So, why didn’t you call your mother one of those figment insults?” asked Dru turning her stare darkly onto mine. She smiled with a sense of satisfaction “seems that you have a case of schizophrenia.” she turned her back to me and started crossing the street. “what’s real Lilac?”
I looked at her as she disappeared behind a group of bushes. I hugged my sides.
“Where’s your Mom going?” asked Jillian as we resumed walking.
“She’s off to work.”
“Where?”
“She’s a real estate agent.”
“Good, that places is on the other side of town.”
“Yeah, she takes the bus.”
“Ok, which ways your house?”
I pointed over into the distance “Umbrage Passage.”
“Oh, you live in that lake development huh?”
“Yeah…”
We walked through town. Eventually, we came to my street, my road, and my house.
“Nice place!” said Jillian putting her hands on her hips “anyone home?”
“No.” I took out my necklace, on it was my key, and my diamond rose.
“Look. We‘re sorry about that necklace!” said Jillian looking at my sad expression. “Why is that thing so important to you. You shouldn’t base so much on possessions”
“But this one’s special.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because of where it came from.”
“And that was?” she asked.
“Found it when I was really young in a sandbox.” I looked down at it slowly. “I used to think it was good luck.”
Dru stared at me again, I ignored her. I didn’t want to be proven wrong, I never have been, in this case.
I unlocked the door and entered. The two girls looked around in approval at the black and white stale place that was my house. Every wall, white. The high ceilings caging you in. Long black blocks decorated the room with a bland décor. The room was bright. But it only seemed to blur more white into the museum I lived in.  Eventually they got a change of setting when they entered my room.
They made their comments and eventually I tore out a number of unconscious outfits I owned from my closet. I used a practically ancient suitcase that was piled in one of our closets to store everything. I was just about to leave when I picked up a small book with a lilac painted on it.
“Can’t forget this.” I murmured.
“Is that your poetry book?”
“How’d you know?” I asked dropping it accidentally.
“James said you sat on your roof all the time and wrote in that. You threw a poem you didn’t like at him by mistake.”
“Which one?” I asked going pale.
“The man in shadow”
“HAH!” I exploded and placed my hands on my hips with a surprised chuckle.
“What?” asked Jillian.
“That one was about him!” I dropped the book again “oh no.”
“What!”
“I had Kyle in that one too.” I saw my cheeks going red in a mirror next to me.
“Oh! So that’s the destined solider of your heart?”
“Awwww shut up!” I cried clasping my hands over my face. Drus cool voice filled the room.

“Deep eyes drown into a dry pond. Another light falls into the dawn. And yet your still there in your own shadow, looking upon the hallow flower. Never look into the gems
That crystal hearts dare not speak. Hold close to your destined solider of your heart,
He’ll die in the war for the white rose. And yet amongst the shattered hearts sit the gems, still sparkling in a light you can’t see.”

Both our jaws were open.
“I love your poetry.” said Dru running her fingers along the edge of my rock fountain.
“Lie’s, grab a bathing suit too.” said Jillian returning to a normal state.
“Why’s that?”
“We’ll we can’t have flies around you!“ she pointed over her shoulder “there’s a sunny pond by the shelter, a purified place of perfect hygiene.””
“Group bath?” I asked blandly.
“The shelter didn’t come with anything bath wise. In the winter, we manage to heat the pond up.”
“How’s that?” I asked.
“Well all you have to do is-” Dru jabbed her in the side and she doubled over. “Nothing!” she squeaked.
“I don’t think I want to know.” I said packing my last few items.
I went to my bed and noticed my stuffed animal. A small unicorn doll that I had hardly gone a night without. It had been mine for a long time, and I hoped it to be my daughters. It was old and torn, but whenever it was with me, I always felt safe.
“Monoa,” I murmured picking it up chuckling “I wonder how he knew.”
I kissed the comfort item goodbye and took a last glance at my home. Running my hand along every wall, rubbing my toes into every inch of the rugs. Hearing the creak of the faulty part of the hardwood floor. I took in a deep breath and forced my chin in the air.
“Wait a second!” I announced running into my bathroom. Jillian and Dru stood puzzled until I returned with a case of colored contacts.
“I got these for Halloween, never used them though!”
“Perfect.” said Jillian opening the door. Dru was proud of herself again.
“Well, did you get all you goodbyes out?”
I nodded softly and took one last look. The door closed. I listened closely to every clank of the lock as I shut it away from me.
“I hope they don’t worry too much.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
My street seemed to have changed. It was no longer a path that was a reminder of the education I had to approach at the crack of dawn, nor was is the path of relief that welcomed me as that soothing arrow home for an exhausted high school student. No, now it was a path to forget. A path that was nothing. A slimly, greasy streak of industrial concrete, cold black coal. Boxes of the same house, one mocking the one behind it until there was no difference between homes and a Lego.
I wanted to forget this place, as if I was never there. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much to leave it behind if it meant nothing to me.
“Hmm.” said Jillian putting a finger to her chin. She seemed to be examining me.
“Yes?” I asked swerving away from her.
“Got any doe on you, Dru?”
“Um,” she stalled fingering through her pocket and yanked out a twenty. “yeah.”
“We should get this over with.” she replied taking the money. Dru stared at her coldly then reconsidered in question.
“You want to dye it now?”
“If she’s going to be here. Yeah!”
“Dye?” I asked grabbing the ends of my hair “do we have to?”
“Yeah…Or…” she took a handful of the chestnut ocean that was my hair and clicked her tongue in thought. “Oh, I don’t want to dry out this.” she said shaking it.
“Wig it?” asked Dru felling a section of it as well. I’ve always taken pride in my hair. My mother and I shared the perfect hair gene. The two seemed fascinated.
“Um.”
“Wig it.” agreed Jillian letting go.
Eventually, we made it into town again. A tinkling bell of greeting announced our arrival in MARIES HAIR AND COSMETICS. It stank of old ladies and poodles for some reason. Jillian was humming and clicking as she considered each wig.
“Blond would go good with the eyes.”
I twitched the side of my lip with a shrug and started to venture through the stringy masses of stranger’s colorized skin cells. At last, I stuck with a short strawberry blond. It wasn’t too shocking, but it made me look different at least.
“This is humiliating.” I murmured as I stared at my kooky blonde pretty girl image in the bathroom of a gas station nearby. Jillian swabbed another layer of foundation onto my face.
“It doesn’t suit you, but we can’t take our chances with anyone recognizing you. How are the contacts coming?”
I poked myself in the eye for the third consecutive time.
“Like a glove!”
After the gruesome plastic horror of honey-brown pigment installation, I looked like a new person. Worse, I looked like a preppy.
“Eep.”
“This went over better than I expected. Should we get you a cheerleading outfit?”
“Quite the nightmare, eh Lilac?” asked Dru.
“Shut up.” I ordered hunching my shoulders as I made my way out of the bathroom “I’m doing this for my own health, if that’s even believable.”
I kept my head down as we strolled along the streets of Walden. Every time any reminder of what was happening hit me, I forced it away with a squint. I was just walking through the streets (playing hooky) with some new friends of mine (who dressed me up like Brittany Spears’ wax double.)
“Contacts bothering you?” asked Jillian.
“I suppose.” I answered rubbing my eye. A silence grew between us and popped.  “I’m sorry I snapped at you Dru.” I said quietly looking over at her.
“You’re one to learn the hard way.”
Well. That was pointless.
“…Oh.” I looked forward again. We continued walking in a strange dibble of broken thoughts. Silence. Erie silence.
“I can’t stand this!” I finally broke out suddenly. It was so fierce that a bird flew away screaming. “OKAY! I’ll accept it! I’ll take it! Okay!”
Jillian snapped a hand over my mouth. “That’s great! But don’t draw attention to yourself. Shesh Dru! You can do an awful lot to people by doing nothing!”
“That’s the plan.” she answered.
We came back to the small place in the woods. Monoa was sitting on a small stump in the center of a large opening in the tress. A bright beam of light was peering down directly in front of him. Sparkling in the center of that beam was the false necklace. As soon as he saw us, he was a little startled, and shoved the jewel away.
“You two.” he said addressing Dru and Jillian. “Go help the boys.”
“Monoa! Dru talked!” exploded Jillian.
“She did?” he inquired. She nodded back. Dru looked between them, and walked away.
“She did!” argued Jillian. Monoa nodded slowly and watched her walk away. Jillian walked away as well. As soon as I went to follow her…
“Lilac. You stay here.”
I looked off to the side. I needed a break.
“Okay.” I said looking over my shoulder. Monoa pointed at the stump he was sitting on previously. “Sit.”
I darted my eyes around and slowly lowered myself down onto it. He crossed his arms behind him and leaned up against a tree across from me. “Tell me,” he began “if that hawk did kill you. Would you want it to happen.”
“What?”
“Do you want to stay alive?”
“Yes…” I answered a little worried. He lifted his head.
“Staying alive why? To come back this?” he tested.
“No, I wanted to-” my eyes struck open, he was grinning about walking me straight into a trap  “I wanted to stay alive for this. Everyone one- Dru, they seemed so dependent.”
He dropped his arms and starred me straight in the eye.
“I know what you’re doing.”
“What?”
“If you know what’s good for you, stop it now.”
After a long pause of silence, he spoke again.
“11:00 o’clock, we’re making good time.” he said walking off. “Follow me.“
I did. But  was mused in deep question for the curious shape shifting mass of energy. We were in a quiet isolated part of the woods. He turned to me and rested up against a tree “Lilac, I need to ask you something.”
“Yes…?”
“Tell me about those people over there.”
He pointed off into the distance, the group was sitting in semi circle on a number of stones. A pond was sparkling behind them, a small brook zigzagged through the area like crystal snakes and moss playing tag. Eventually they both crashed into the brim of the pond. The group was laughing and chattering like families would at thanksgiving dinner.
“Of them…?” I asked myself “They’re fine.”
“Lilac.” he had that look in his eyes again. “stop.”
“Stop what!”
He was silent. Moments later I was thinking.
I rewound that occurred between all of them. What each one had done thus far. Things always came back to Dru’s voice, and the pain in her eyes. The overwhelming guilt was piercing me. If there really was some type of reason or need for me, why don’t I make the best of it? First things first, I have to get the bad weight off my chest.
This…very bad weight…
Words just seemed to tumble out without control. Within seconds, I was murmuring something. He insisted that I repeat it louder. I mustered up my strength.
“I’m scared” I choked dropping to my knees. Tears billowed from nowhere. I was sobbing in moments. I realized I had been wanting to do such a thing for a while now. “I don’t know what to do…” I continued under my breath.
“Then do something” answered Monoa.
“Like what!” I demanded” if you have any ideas please share! I can’t stand this!”
“You’ve never been faced with such a thing. So it’s altering your mood outrageously. To an extent that not one thought can stay suspended for too long. The emotions cycle, twist, and then turn into a tornado of confusion. You don’t know how to behave because there’s no reason to.” he looked down at me “Am I correct?”
I nodded weakly. “So what do I do?”
“Breath…”
“What!”
“You’re going to just get some control over yourself.”
“I know.”
“But you’ve never lost control before.”
“I-I know.”
“So stop feeling so embarrassed.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I am.”
“So stop.”
“I’m trying.”
“Stop.”
“Okay.”
The conversation at the moment whizzed by like a dumb person trying to do a crossword puzzle. You sit there and stare. For a very. Long. Time. I sighed finally and looked up at him.
“What’s it like to be a soul?”
His eyes opened slightly wider. “…What do you mean?”
“You’re not human, right?”
“Correct.”
“So…You can’t feel pain, can you?”
“No.”
“That’s good,” I hunched over onto my knees “Can you feel anything?”
“No.”
I looked up at him with a sad look on my face. He seemed to respond to it. “You seemed happy about not feeling pain.”
I nodded “But that’s different from not feeling anything.”
“It’s nothing bad.”
“How would you know that if you can’t feel anything?”
“I can feel some things.”
We stood there for a few moments. He suddenly shot his hand up in the air.
“Smurf bite,” I laughed un pinching my fingers. He looked down at his thumb sourly.
“Why did you do that?”
I tilted my head to the side. “You said you couldn’t feel anything.”
“And you didn’t believe me?”
“Apparently I have the right now.” I looked up at him “Jillian told me about what you are…I’m sorry about that.”
“About what?”
“I’m guessing it’s a touchy subject but,” I looked down again “how you’re stranded here.”
“Speak for yourself.”
I chuckled a little “Yeah. I suppose that’s true.” I sighed “So I really have to stay here?”
“How many times must I explain this?”
“Okay okay…Then. In that case.” I stood up “I think now that I’m straighten out…I’ll try and talk to them.” I looked over at him “should I?”
“Why are you asking me?”
I shrugged “You seem to have a lot of answers in you.”
I dug my heals into the ground and wondered over to the small group by the rocks. They were talking about cars I think. Jillian noticed me approaching and they quieted down.
“Um…” I scratched the back of my head “Sorry about before…”
“About what?” asked Justin “And for the love of my aunts girdle, why the bleeding Hell do you keep saying sorry every five seconds!”
“It’s the good thing to do.”
“Yeah! But if you do it every five seconds. One, it makes you a total wimp! And B, how are people supposed to know when you’re actually sorry about something. They’ll be sitting there. All like, jaded. And little Lilac walks up and says sorry. And they’ll just say, Aw shit, just another day for Lilac to say sorry. And then it turns out on that particular day, the world explodes!”
“…Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Good theory.”
“It’s not a theory.”
“Oh s-
“Uhp!”
“Oh…Supper.”
“Good girl.”
“Not again,” I murmured under my breath. “Anyway…I guess I’ll stay here. I mean,” I shrugged “What choice do I have?”
“Ah, giving in I see.” asked Jillian. I nodded weakly. She smiled back.
“See, I tried to get that whole trust thing out of the way as soon as I could.”
I still didn’t trust them. I didn’t trust a living soul. That night, I was getting the Hell out of there.