HOME | DD

Description
(Just to be clear- this was made as a joke to play on a friend of ours who asked my mom for a reference to help her get an apartment in town... I should have known when my mom and my aunt got together to make a joke it'd be interesting! P.S My mom has great grammer and this friend of ours is acually a really good person and everything in this mock reference is fictional.. And the last paragraph was my idea! lol)

To Whom It May Concern:

..................My name is Jeanette and I have known Julia for a bunch a time. She stays with me at my house when she can’t get home due to bad snow or when she just don’t want to get up real early and come into town when her mom has gotta be to work at 5:30 am. She just sleeps on my couch. Julie is a real good girl who could really use a break (if ‘n you know what I mean.)
.................She has a real sweet nature when she is not drinking, re-hab did a real good job with her. She hardly ever gets that stinking drunk anymore. I was real worried about her there for a spell. You’ll be real glad to know that she doesn’t smoke ‘cept for the pot which seems to mellow out her temper real well.
...............She is very neat and tidy and won’t damage her apartment. The holes in the wall in her last apartment are from her last boyfriend, (that drunk shunk of …) and are not her fault and shouldn’t be held against her at all.
................You will hardly even notice her three pit bulls. They are well behaved and hardly chew on anything or anyone lately, (though I am missing a leg to my new couch).
................You won’t be embarrassed to have her rent one of your apartments since she got her new false teeth, and her wig. Meth is really hard on users’ teeth, and then she was is sympathy with Britany Spears and shaved her head to show her support. She is a loyal gal that a way.
...............Even though she only has a part time job, she always has extra money so you can be sure to get your rent. She has quite the green thumb and grows luscious green herbs which people come quite often and buys from her. I can’t understand why the cops came to her last apartment and took all of her herbs and burned them, such a shame and a waste. She is very popular and people are in and out of her apartment quite a bit. You will find your apartment complex to be a much safer place with Julia living there, the cops are always driving around to check up on her (they must really like her).
..............I must say that you may want to put up a nice privacy fence though cause she tends to sunbathe al freshco if’n you know what I mean, it tends to stop traffic and there has been a coupla fender benders in front of her last place.
.................She shouldn’t be a bothering the neighbors none since she is on drugs to control the nightmares. Those screams of hers from those night terrors will curl your hair. What was worse was when she would go sleep walking in the nude…. Glad that hasn’t happened for a couple of weeks now.
...................Her continuous yard sale is always another way for her to be sure she has your money for you each month, she always has good stuff all over the yard. Her best sellers last year were toilets that she got from the dump and planted petunias in. they were really pretty. She sets them all out there in a row by the sidewalk, it really turns peoples’ heads when they drive by.
....................I think she would be a really good person for you to rent to. And don’t worry, that skin condition that she got from her monkey is clearing up pretty good and the doctors are hopeful that it won’t leave any permanent scars and they are pretty sure that it isn’t contagious. ( I wouldn’t touch her though if I was you, if you know what I mean).
........................yours truly, Jeanette

Description
(Just to be clear- this was made as a joke to play on a friend of ours who asked my mom for a reference to help her get an apartment in town... I should have known when my mom and my aunt got together to make a joke it'd be interesting! P.S My mom has great grammer and this friend of ours is acually a really good person and everything in this mock reference is fictional.. And the last paragraph was my idea! lol)

To Whom It May Concern:

..................My name is Jeanette and I have known Julia for a bunch a time. She stays with me at my house when she can’t get home due to bad snow or when she just don’t want to get up real early and come into town when her mom has gotta be to work at 5:30 am. She just sleeps on my couch. Julie is a real good girl who could really use a break (if ‘n you know what I mean.)
.................She has a real sweet nature when she is not drinking, re-hab did a real good job with her. She hardly ever gets that stinking drunk anymore. I was real worried about her there for a spell. You’ll be real glad to know that she doesn’t smoke ‘cept for the pot which seems to mellow out her temper real well.
...............She is very neat and tidy and won’t damage her apartment. The holes in the wall in her last apartment are from her last boyfriend, (that drunk shunk of …) and are not her fault and shouldn’t be held against her at all.
................You will hardly even notice her three pit bulls. They are well behaved and hardly chew on anything or anyone lately, (though I am missing a leg to my new couch).
................You won’t be embarrassed to have her rent one of your apartments since she got her new false teeth, and her wig. Meth is really hard on users’ teeth, and then she was is sympathy with Britany Spears and shaved her head to show her support. She is a loyal gal that a way.
...............Even though she only has a part time job, she always has extra money so you can be sure to get your rent. She has quite the green thumb and grows luscious green herbs which people come quite often and buys from her. I can’t understand why the cops came to her last apartment and took all of her herbs and burned them, such a shame and a waste. She is very popular and people are in and out of her apartment quite a bit. You will find your apartment complex to be a much safer place with Julia living there, the cops are always driving around to check up on her (they must really like her).
..............I must say that you may want to put up a nice privacy fence though cause she tends to sunbathe al freshco if’n you know what I mean, it tends to stop traffic and there has been a coupla fender benders in front of her last place.
.................She shouldn’t be a bothering the neighbors none since she is on drugs to control the nightmares. Those screams of hers from those night terrors will curl your hair. What was worse was when she would go sleep walking in the nude…. Glad that hasn’t happened for a couple of weeks now.
...................Her continuous yard sale is always another way for her to be sure she has your money for you each month, she always has good stuff all over the yard. Her best sellers last year were toilets that she got from the dump and planted petunias in. they were really pretty. She sets them all out there in a row by the sidewalk, it really turns peoples’ heads when they drive by.
....................I think she would be a really good person for you to rent to. And don’t worry, that skin condition that she got from her monkey is clearing up pretty good and the doctors are hopeful that it won’t leave any permanent scars and they are pretty sure that it isn’t contagious. ( I wouldn’t touch her though if I was you, if you know what I mean).
........................yours truly, Jeanette