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Published: 2010-03-10 10:26:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 12863; Favourites: 301; Downloads: 200
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Description
The conifers played the piano the night you died.On reflection, because of what happened, I expected there to be rain and stricken bolts of lightening. A perfect storm for an imperfect night.
In reality, the sun set in a perfect ball of glowing embers. There was no need for fire, catastrophe would occur that night in many other ways.
Our paths had never crossed before. Or if they had, we never knew it. I hadn't heard your voice, and I didn't know your name. Your voice and your name would never combine to enlighten me that night, nor ever again. The most important moment of your life, and possibly the most memorable of mine tugged us roughly together. You were given me as your human contact. And I imagine now, that I must have looked to you like the ghost you have now become.
There were others around, of course. Somebody dialled three digits and another kept people at a respectable distance. But it was I that you were dealt to preserve your life. I remember scolding you for your timing. If you had waited a few minutes more, maybe the next person that drove along would have been a surgeon. Or a paramedic. Somebody who knew more than the basics. Somebody who could do more than breathe pathetic sighs into your body. I wondered if you were always early for everything.
For minutes there was only us sprawled in the road. As I held your hand I felt the pain in your body throbbing through your fingertips. It felt like life was being forced out and death being sucked in. I didn't feel pain until long after they had taken you away. I was consumed by a broken version of you. Version because to many others, you would always be full of life. I knew you only in death. The copy of you lying crumpled in the road dotted with crimson patches of hurt and pain was all I would ever know. I will never consider the colour red with the emotion of Love again.
My fingers had fluttered desperately for a pulse, tapping along your neck until I found nothing. I had laughed, remembering those times in school when I had failed to find my pulse from the teachers instruction. We had always joked we were dead. I had looked for a teacher that night, to come and show me where your pulse was. Because I could not believe it didn't exist in a person.
As they took you away, amidst blue lights and coded talk, I looked up at the darkening sky. The wind whipped leafy fingers and coaxed stretching limbs of evergreen into action. They beat to the sounds of people crying and sirens wailing as somebody started to mop the stains from my face. But I only heard sweet melancholy music.
The conifers played the piano the night you died.
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Comments: 187
Kaz-D In reply to ??? [2010-04-22 19:35:09 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! I'll have a look at those things and have a play with the wording when I have time !
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zerotozune In reply to Kaz-D [2010-04-27 14:33:59 +0000 UTC]
No problem, I'm glad it helped.
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LindArtz [2015-05-12 01:45:12 +0000 UTC]
Sobering and numbing. From a perspective we neverΒ get toΒ hear.Β Β
If more could be said with fewer words...Connecting us so intimately to the partaker's feelings... Well,Β I don't think there is such a way...
The words ring in my mind's ears; a knot in my throat which has caught me by surprise and off guard....I imagine you are haunted by the imagery... Just as I too, now am.
(Congrats on the DD )
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Kaz-D In reply to LindArtz [2015-05-20 05:21:25 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for the kind comments
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coconatsu [2012-08-20 13:35:33 +0000 UTC]
"I will never consider the colour red with the emotion of Love again."
Your words are beautiful....
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Christianonfire7 [2011-04-25 03:11:07 +0000 UTC]
[link]
This piece has been featured in my news article.
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Christianonfire7 [2011-04-25 03:09:33 +0000 UTC]
[link]
This piece has been featured in this News Article.
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Aegis-Illustration [2010-10-13 01:49:21 +0000 UTC]
Had this situation occured to you? I have been thinking about it... about knowing someone only when dying... I'd be wondering the rest of my life about that human being... who s/he was...
Really shocking writting. The conifers metaphor is really, really beautiful and dramatic. Chapeau!
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Kaz-D In reply to Aegis-Illustration [2010-10-13 11:09:56 +0000 UTC]
Yus.
Exactly, hence this piece
Thank you
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HypnoticPrecognition [2010-07-24 22:48:38 +0000 UTC]
This is a very well deserved DD. 'm sure you've heard that before.
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HypnoticPrecognition In reply to Kaz-D [2010-07-25 07:36:29 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome.
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silvernium [2010-04-21 09:57:12 +0000 UTC]
I love the imagery of the conifers playing piano. I can see them. There is music in life and death. There is music in imagery. There is music in memories. Putting such a poignant image to a memory creates a space for the conifers to play, when they need to.
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Nymphe-AR [2010-04-20 22:21:37 +0000 UTC]
"I wondered if you were always early for everything."
"I didn't feel pain until long after they had taken you away. I was consumed by a broken version of you. Version because to many others, you would always be full of life. I knew you only in death."
"I had looked for a teacher that night, to come and show me where your pulse was. Because I could not believe it didn't exist in a person."
I'm out of words.. this was beautiful! Love everything about it, especially toward the end! Bravo!
P.S. That's a perfect picture of conifers you got.. now I get it
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Kaz-D In reply to Nymphe-AR [2010-04-21 05:18:27 +0000 UTC]
Thank you!
Glad you like the pic too, i googled
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Eloquent-Weapon [2010-04-20 07:56:35 +0000 UTC]
I fuckin' cried. I don't say that often, it takes a lot to actually make me cry.
I hardly ever read the Lit DD's anymore, but I'm incredibly glad that I got bored at 3AM to read this. It deserves every bit of recognition it has.
You've written a wonderful piece, the imagery is fantastic, mesmerizing even. I read it three times, in order to make sure I missed nothing of it. It had me hooked from the first line. *runs away real fast to +watch you.*
I'm so very sorry that you've had to experience something such as this before in your life, but it's made you a better person and it's quite clear to me through reading this piece.
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Kaz-D In reply to Eloquent-Weapon [2010-04-21 05:24:26 +0000 UTC]
Wow...i'm sorry to make you cry! But also...it's amazing to know I had that effect!
I'm glad you read
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sesam-is-open [2010-04-20 07:09:09 +0000 UTC]
Speachless!
Emotion, compassion, so many basic human feelings!
Beautiful writing
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jaxon-riddle [2010-04-20 05:20:29 +0000 UTC]
i don't know what to say about this...it's amazing. i've never even thought about that part of the "other person"s perspective
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Chaldemone [2010-04-20 04:43:15 +0000 UTC]
Woah, this isn't fiction?! I guess that explains why this feels awkward as a stand-alone piece. You write beautifully though; you really do.
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StitchesintheWind [2010-04-20 04:29:04 +0000 UTC]
It's a lovely piece, especially, "I was consumed by a broken version of you."
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JSteinman [2010-04-20 03:53:35 +0000 UTC]
beautiful lovely poem. the words are wonderfully written; i can almost feel the emotion
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Kardia-Fractus [2010-04-20 03:38:44 +0000 UTC]
I really felt it.
So truly deserving of the D.D. it received. Congratulations.
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darksporechild [2010-04-20 02:23:21 +0000 UTC]
Note to self: learn first aid!
Beautifully put, expertly phrased, and touchingly expressed. Never mind my synonyms.
I don't normally comment or even read lit DDs (shame on me, too) but the first line jumped out at me and hooked me somewhere behind my trachea. Or was it my aorta? The imagery for me was very vivid, even though you focused more on the emotions involved than the strictly observational senses. Brilliant, and I hope I never have to deal with this.
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Nimfalas [2010-04-20 02:15:37 +0000 UTC]
Stunning. I'm sorry that I can't find the proper words to describe my reaction. This is a pretty pathetic comment. Just know that this piece of work is brilliant.
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Kaz-D In reply to Nimfalas [2010-04-21 05:25:29 +0000 UTC]
No that's perfect comment! Thank you for reading
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MeEYaoX3 [2010-04-20 01:56:53 +0000 UTC]
took me a while to understand this... at first i thought they were like aliens and you were assigned to an alien to protect it but it got hurt and... yah... Conifers... I can sort of see what you mean for a second but the next it flys away..... I dunno TT TT I always thought they looked like rain and clouds and green stuff....
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Kaz-D In reply to MeEYaoX3 [2010-04-21 05:25:46 +0000 UTC]
Wow you have an imagination
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shironechan [2010-04-20 01:40:55 +0000 UTC]
Amazing. Just...simply amazing. I can almost feel the despair and angst. This is a truely wonderfully written piece, and thank you for sharing it with us.
You're very amazing, and you deserved the Daily Deviation. Good job!
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gasolinecandles [2010-04-20 01:40:12 +0000 UTC]
Simply wonderful. One of the best DA lit pieces I've read. Such powerful imagery. Such strong emotion. I ended up with a little lump in the back of my throat that I'm still fighting to swallow. My favorite part had to be the little section about looking for a pulse. It reminded me of my childhood, for some reason.
And, the more I think about it, the conifers do look like they're playing the piano... Never going to be able to think about them the same way ever again.
All in all, amazing. Keep up the good work.
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Kaz-D In reply to gasolinecandles [2010-04-21 05:26:05 +0000 UTC]
thank you so much for reading
I can't look at them in the same way either now!
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