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kmills95 — Dialectical.
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Published: 2013-10-04 02:39:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 84; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
I have always had this feelingThat I am going to die young.
Maybe it’s just my depression talking.
But the older I get,
The fear keeps building.
To cope,
I cut and burn my body,
Revelling in guilty pleasures.
I’m living a lie,
Inside screaming for help.
“I’m OK,”
“I’m just tired,”
“It was the cat.”
As my lies
Add up,
The scars do too.
The God that I
Have always known
And loved
Seems distant,
Cold, even.
I start to wonder
If He’s even there.
If He even cares.
The things that were once
So black and white,
Now fade together
Into shades of grey.
The good and the bad
Twisted together,
Distorted and warped.
I’m blind,
Though I look.
I’m deaf,
Though I listen.
I’m mute,
Though inside
I’m screaming.
My life is a paradox;
This world,
A dialectical.
And I have never
Felt so
Alone.
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Comments: 6
I’m living a lie,
Inside screaming for help.
“I’m OK,”
“I’m just tired,”
“It was the cat.”
As my lies
Add up,
The scars do too.
Those lines seem to perfectly describe my life as of late. I seem to find myself saying, "I'm Ok" nearly every day even though inside I'm screaming with each "I'm Ok," I utter. It's nice to know other people lie and hate lying about the turmoil they feel.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Wow, I'm sorry you have to deal with it too <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I have always had this feeling
That I am going to die young.
This line. I have the same feeling.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
He didn't go anywhere /whisper
I still have to mention, I greatly admire your courage and not merely facing, but even publishing what you face.
I blanked out the inward stare long ago and even when I use a mirror I never really look at myself even
👍: 0 ⏩: 1