LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-06-21 01:54:06 +0000 UTC]

That happens to me too. On the other hand I always choose to be friends with anyone I meet depending if we have anything in common or anything to relate with.

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godasleep In reply to LadyData [2013-07-19 05:40:16 +0000 UTC]

I choose friends based on what we have in common too. But for me, my choices has no effect on the outcome. Like that one friend that I had told you about recently in the note. I wanted her to stay but it's her choice to leave so I can't do anything about it. Late last year, she said she'll make it a goal to make me happy since I was never happy. But deep inside I knew it's just all words of comfort and I don't have any significance in her life. She got her sister whom she love dearly and I'm just non related person to her. I've been there for her a lot of times and vice versa so it hurts when she posted a Facebook status one time saying how the only thing she's thankful for is her sister.

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LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-07-19 05:55:45 +0000 UTC]

I skimmed through your note right now and I'm trying to organize my thoughts to reply to your note

I'm glad you didn't force her to stay on Facebook because as a person she has a right to be there or not but it comes to prove that she wasn't a real friend. If I was her I would have been thankful for my family and friends rather online or in real life and yes that includes you Probably the only reason she said those comforting words is because she pity's you and your situation. There's a difference from caring and pitying. Caring is when you are actually there for someone rather through rain or shine while pity is just temporarily comforting someone.

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godasleep In reply to LadyData [2013-07-19 06:24:05 +0000 UTC]

Take your time. You can reply any time. I took forever to reply to your note. I actually replied early on but I didn't click send because I sounded all depressed so I waited till I was in a better state of mind.

You're right. She wasn't a real friend. But she's not a bad person. She actually has a lot of good qualities. I guess some people just aren't meant to stay in our lives. Come to think of it, besides your family, is there anyone that stuck with you till this day? Maybe it's just me and my bad choices in friends. Or maybe in this life, it's hard to find a loyal friend. I'm thankful for you as well. You're right, she was pitying me.

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LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-07-23 05:13:04 +0000 UTC]

You know what I did answer your question wrong about if I had anyone that stuck with me until this day. I responded my correct answer on the My Resolution journal. I've realized that the reason I feel so alone is because my friends and I hardly see each other. I mentioned A in the response but i didn't nention that I don't trust her all the way especially since she would gossip and over-exaggerate about events that happend. For example, when my ex-friend, M, and I used to be friends A would ask me about M and I told her that she had a crush on a TA from one of her classes and then she would tell her friend L. that M. would dress like a sleaze to impress her TA and that she's a cochina because she slept with her TA when in realit I never told her that. See where I'm coming from?

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godasleep In reply to LadyData [2013-07-25 08:00:48 +0000 UTC]

I understand your situation better now. I'm sad that you feel so alone.

I could relate to your feelings because I've been there before. After losing all my so-called close friends, I realized I should just focus on myself. It's normal to feel down after a huge blow like that but I've learned things along the way and I realized I can be happy if I could just reevaluate my life and focus on things that really matters. Albert Einstein said, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” People and things are ever changing. One day, you could be bffs with someone and the next, enemies. Humans are social creatures though so we need friends, we need love, etc. to nuture us but we don't have to let others define our happiness. My ex-friends aren't meant to stay in my life. I accepted that fact and I won't let them hold me back from being happy. If I found a BBF in the future, I would be ecstatic but if not, I'm still going to do my best with what I have and believe I could be happy regardless.

If I were you, I would not be hanging out with A anymore. Whether M is a good or bad person, A shouldn't say things about M that isn't true. If she could do that to other people, you could do that to you too. I really hope not but A doesn't sound like a good friend. 

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LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-07-19 06:58:49 +0000 UTC]

I understand and it's good that you edited your note before sending it to me Sometimes when I reply to messages on here I realize after the fact that I did typos or that I wasn't clear on a topic. Also, there are times when it seems like I'm mad or sad when replying.

Unfortunately, I only had my family that stuck with me. Ik this is sort of random and silly but sometimes I imagine my favorite fictional characters in my head while going through good and bad times. 

How is it your bad choice in friends? When you meet someone it's hard to know if your friend(s) are bad influences or aren't whom they seem to be. It takes time until you notice their true colors. I believe it is this life that it is hard to choose loyal friends because most people I've encountered are materialistic meaning they only care for your possessions and not as a person. Or they are back-stabbers trying to put on a front. You are welcome

I can't say if your friend is bad or not but from what  you told me about her actions it just seems like she was pitying you.

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godasleep In reply to LadyData [2013-07-25 08:13:04 +0000 UTC]

That's why it's a good idea to reply at another time if we don't feel like we could present ourselves in the best way. 

That's not silly at all. When I'm down or feeling positive, I would imagine some funny scenarios to temporarily cheer me up or motivate me towards my goal.  

You're right. We do live in a materialistic world. And it's not about buying things that would make them happy. There are people who spent thousands of dollars on things just to show off how wealthy they are. The backstabbers are the worst, in my opinion at least. They act like a friend but when reveal their true colors, they hurt you so bad. 

I can assure you that she is a good person. She just isn't a good friend. Sadly. I don't want pity so it's good that she left me. 

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LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-07-29 09:56:32 +0000 UTC]

I definitely agree with you on replying at another time if we are in a bad mood

I'm glad you didn't think of my fictional character scenarios silly "When I'm down or feeling positive, I would imagine some funny scenarios to temporarily cheer me up or motivate me towards my goal." Sometimes I do that too. I remember in choir class when I performed a solo for a choir event, I was so nervous because I had stage fright and the TA told me that when I'm singing on stage to just imagine the audience without any clothes. The idea was hilarious but I thought it would make me loose my concentration since I would be doing more laughing than singing. So I closed my eyes temporarily while singing and imagined that I was singing to myself in the shower.

I'm glad you agree with me about our society being materialistic. It kind of reminds me of elementary school where there would be this kid in your class that would ask you for something and if you do it then he/she be your best friend. You know like if a kid in your class approached you and said, "Can I have your candy? If you give it to me I'll be your best friend in the world." I used to fall for that trick when I was little because I never had any friends and I was desperate but later on when I was growing up I didn't buy that trick anymore. I realized that if someone wants to be my friend they should be my friend because they want to know me as a person and not for my possessions. Unfortunately, there are people who buy off their "friends" with money or expensive stuff just to prove how wealthy they are I definitely agree with you that the back stabbers are the worst of them all. It's sad that they waste our time and fool us with their lies.

"Sadly, I don't want pity so it's good that she left me." I think that it's a blessing in disguise because it's a relief to know that you don't need someone in your life who only pities you. 

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godasleep In reply to LadyData [2013-08-05 08:06:48 +0000 UTC]

It's okay to be different. I've always been on the weird side. 

Awesome. It's always nice to have things in common with each other. That's a great way to overcome stage fright. When I was a junior in high school. I was in the school orchestra. One time, we had to perform in front of the school. I know the song but I got so nervous that I literally froze. Then I pretended to play the rest of the time because I didn't know what part of the song we were at. lol. It was so embarrassing but my teacher was really nice and encouraging. We play in front of a much larger crowd later on and I did really well.

I've never fell for that trick because I was quiet and shy so I kept to myself a lot. Friends came natural for me though. Both in Vietnam and in the States. There were the casual friends then later on, a few close ones, and so forth.  My problem isn't in making friends, it's in keeping them. I think I need to get to know more people. I'm sad to know that you've always had trouble making friends. I didn't expect that problem to start at such a young age though. Yeah, unfortunately. I'm glad you agree. Have you had any experiences with backstabbers? Like you've actually been deceived and betrayed?

I agree. I feel less burdened now that all my fake friends are gone.

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LadyData In reply to godasleep [2013-08-12 05:47:05 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad we have the stage fright situation in common. At least with a group it's less embarrassing to loose your place or lines with music compared to performing alone. What instrument did you play in your high school orchestra? YupI don't understand why being weird is looked as something bad. When I think of weird I think of uniqueness. I even came up with my own acronym for weird. 

Wild

Exotic

Intelligent

Rare

Daring

Opinions?

Yup I've had trouble making friends ever since I was young. I remember my first friendship in elementary school I met this girl named K and we would always have fun hanging out with each other until she hanged out with other friends and left me in the back burner as if I didn't even exist. She would pretend to be my friend but then she would ignore me. After that I remember I would ask other kids if I could be their friends and of course they said yes but later on they would do the same thing as K. 

As far as back stabbers go I remember in Middle School I befriended R who used to bully me in 6th grade by taking my lunchbox away. Then in 7th grade she wanted to be my friend and while I was making new friends she would talk crap about me behind my back to one of my new friends and one of my new friends would ask if that crap was true and I told her no and you know what she didn't believe me and she started to avoid me and she started to hangout with R more than me so I ended my friendship with both of them. Then another backstabber was in middle school named S. She would make me believe that I was her friend if I helped her out with class work and then later she left me in the back burner and hanged out with the popular kids. 

And with all of those fake friends out of your life you can finally be able to make new friends

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LadyData In reply to Starlow-FTW [2013-06-14 03:48:53 +0000 UTC]

I didn't think of foe at the time I was writing this 6 worded poem. I thought of enemy because when you meet someone they might not like you and start treating you unfairly. You know like the nerdy girl who gets picked on by cheerleader girl in high school.

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LadyData In reply to tairfeu [2013-03-15 16:47:20 +0000 UTC]

Sounds like love thy enemy to me

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LadyData In reply to WaKip [2013-03-12 01:55:32 +0000 UTC]

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LadyData In reply to Kronos2501 [2013-03-08 04:53:37 +0000 UTC]

Same here. In my opinion I think relationships (friendships,marraiges, bf and gf, etc) are complicated.

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Kronos2501 In reply to LadyData [2013-03-08 20:20:52 +0000 UTC]

I agree with the last part.

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LadyData In reply to RyoLovesMe [2013-03-07 06:20:29 +0000 UTC]

Same here

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RyoLovesMe In reply to LadyData [2013-03-08 22:54:18 +0000 UTC]

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