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Published: 2013-07-23 04:52:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 191; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
Changing lanesIn the mirror you were closer
Aged ten years
At least
Now I'm trying to get sober
When you left
You left my lips dry
Leaving me to die
Swollen, bruised, and hungover
These words are not beautiful
But these words are what you meant to me
It wasn't much of a life,
But for what it was, you were the centerpiece
Life is always a struggle,
But I struggled happily
Now I don't even care
If you care
To remember me
Far away you sit and ponder,
And I wander on
Happy days have come and gone
Happy days have come and gone
Sitting pretty on your cross
All those who wander are not lost
No, I'm not lost
I'm not lost
Tell me,
Does it feel holy to play the victim?
Did you convince yourself,
It was right to run to him?
Then back to me
When he wasn't who you thought he was
Breaking dreams,
Breaking hearts,
Killing trust
Was it everything you thought it would be?
Were you happy?
Were you satisfied?
Were you finally free?
Because you always ever thought of me,
And I know you did before
But when my face came into your mind
You still let your clothes hit the floor.
Oh, well
Far off somewhere you sit and ponder,
And I wander on
Happy days have come and gone
Happy days have come and gone
Sitting pretty on your cross
All those who wander are not lost
No, I'm not lost
I'm not lost
Never have been
Never will be
So don't worry about me
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Comments: 16
Dawn-Riddler [2013-07-23 15:08:28 +0000 UTC]
"All those who wander are not lost"-cheers to that!
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THFan259 [2013-07-23 07:19:45 +0000 UTC]
This poem it's pretty good I like the theme and the way you chose to describe it.
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THFan259 In reply to THFan259 [2013-07-23 07:33:30 +0000 UTC]
Also, you've been featured in my new journal entry thfan259.deviantart.com/journa...
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Less2TheTruth In reply to THFan259 [2013-07-24 15:05:03 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, and thanks for the feature.
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ravynkatt [2013-07-23 04:59:21 +0000 UTC]
Dat flow. I love writing that flows and moves when you read it. Strong words, and well delivered.
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Less2TheTruth In reply to ravynkatt [2013-07-23 05:04:18 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you liked it. It was meant to be spoken like a ballad then sang at the chorus. So I'm especially glad that you liked the flow
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ravynkatt In reply to Less2TheTruth [2013-07-23 05:06:29 +0000 UTC]
I'm a big fan of how a poem flows when read. You'll notice I space a lot of mine to be "jarring" when I'm writing them. I feel how you present what you've written adds that extra element to it. The repetitive lines in yours add a little extra punch as well.
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Less2TheTruth In reply to ravynkatt [2013-07-23 05:09:51 +0000 UTC]
Repetition is one of my favorite elements to poetry. I blame T.S. Elliot for that lol.
"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
With not a bang but a whimper"
~T.S. Elliot, "Hollow Men"
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ravynkatt In reply to Less2TheTruth [2013-07-23 05:13:42 +0000 UTC]
It works though. You're basically hitting someone over and over with the same words, forcing them to see it. Poetry can be violent.
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Less2TheTruth In reply to ravynkatt [2013-07-23 05:17:07 +0000 UTC]
Rule 5: The double tap lol.
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ravynkatt In reply to Less2TheTruth [2013-07-23 05:19:54 +0000 UTC]
Haha. Or for us full auto lovers: Spray and pray. (does not work well on zombies)
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Less2TheTruth In reply to ravynkatt [2013-07-23 05:21:31 +0000 UTC]
Lets just see how many bullets I can get through this gun before all the bad guys are dead. Warning, my record is 300! lol
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ravynkatt In reply to Less2TheTruth [2013-07-23 05:36:01 +0000 UTC]
Hehe. I haven't been shooting in ages, but I find it very relaxing. *sigh* The best apple juice comes from obliterating apples with an assault shotgun.
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Less2TheTruth In reply to ravynkatt [2013-07-23 05:57:14 +0000 UTC]
That sounds amazing! My usual targets are cans, jugs, and bottles filled with water. So satisfying when they pop lol
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ravynkatt In reply to Less2TheTruth [2013-07-23 06:06:53 +0000 UTC]
Apples totally explode. It's so satisfying to make something become nothing in a harmless animal-feeding type way.
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