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Description
It a rare occasion when a world truly falls apart. Sure there are those earth shattering moments that seem like life will never be the same, or if you will ever feel the same again. Even then, in the cases of deaths in the family or the loss of a relationship, the world can come together again, it can reform, and the world will be right again. But the night my wife didn't come home I knew that my world was undoubtedly broken. Looking back, I knew what had happened then, but I was blinded by love and devastated by the thought of losing her. She left with another man, leaving me in my broken world.
The thing about broken worlds is, a normal person cannot live in them. So I began to build my world anew. I drank mostly, every chance I could. The liquor and beer wasn't to numb the pain or any of the old cliche's. No, it was mostly because my now ex wife hated when I drank, and would never drink with me. Odd, because I seem so happy when I drink. Maybe it's because I do get loud, and I speak my mind.
I digress, a normal, average person cannot live in a broken world. Watch any news cast long enough and you'll see normal people living in broken worlds. Shattered pathetic things, with guns to their temples and feet edging closer to the ledge of buildings. For a while I thought I was terribly average. This is not however, a tale of my tragic divorce, my suicide attempts, my heavy drinking, or my relations with various women, but these are subjects that may be touched upon. No, this story is about my life, beautifully broken.
Her name was Moon, not her birth name of course, but it suited her. She was a pale beautifully violent thing, with one of the most mystically arcane smiles I've ever seen. The day I walked into her life is a blur, a motionless painting suddenly set in motion. In essence, she was Van Gogh's “Stary Night” in contrast to my worlds dull gray pallet.
“So what is it that you wanted to tell me?” Her dark hair fell in front of her left eye, letting me know that I was in trouble already.
“Only that you should choose me,” I said smiling. “That I am worth choosing.”
“I've been telling you that all along”
“Maybe I've started believing it,” I leaned in and gave her a hard won kiss on the most velveteen lips I have ever felt pressed against mine. “I think I'm worth a hard decision or two.”
She blushed slightly and turned away, smiling a guilty smile.
“You know I am with Jace.... He means so much to me Nate”
I sighed. I felt a crack in my already cracked world. I knew she wouldn't choose me, and a part of me had already accepted that, but my mind, heart, and body all wanted her in a way that made my bones ache, and my lips drip with poetry.
“A small part of me loves you....and a part of me....a large part, loves him, and I shouldn't tell you that... I'm not a bad person... and I know this is only going to hurt you,” a tear formed in the corner of her burning perfect brown eye, and I knew the feeling of regret and despair she must be feeling. I didn't want to tell her, but I knew she needed to hear it.
“Moon, I love you, I never thought I would love another woman after what happened, and I realize that you aren't mine. I wish you were. With all that I am I wish you were, but you aren't love,” I tried to hold back the sincerity of my confession. I tried not to hurt her heart. But I couldn't. My heart was screaming, PICK ME! CHOOSE ME! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LOVE ME! But I knew she wouldn't, my words meant the world to her, she wanted me there to dry her tears, and to be her friend and more when she wanted, but my heart wasn't something she needed.
“I can't leave him”
“I know love, I know”

Description
It a rare occasion when a world truly falls apart. Sure there are those earth shattering moments that seem like life will never be the same, or if you will ever feel the same again. Even then, in the cases of deaths in the family or the loss of a relationship, the world can come together again, it can reform, and the world will be right again. But the night my wife didn't come home I knew that my world was undoubtedly broken. Looking back, I knew what had happened then, but I was blinded by love and devastated by the thought of losing her. She left with another man, leaving me in my broken world.
The thing about broken worlds is, a normal person cannot live in them. So I began to build my world anew. I drank mostly, every chance I could. The liquor and beer wasn't to numb the pain or any of the old cliche's. No, it was mostly because my now ex wife hated when I drank, and would never drink with me. Odd, because I seem so happy when I drink. Maybe it's because I do get loud, and I speak my mind.
I digress, a normal, average person cannot live in a broken world. Watch any news cast long enough and you'll see normal people living in broken worlds. Shattered pathetic things, with guns to their temples and feet edging closer to the ledge of buildings. For a while I thought I was terribly average. This is not however, a tale of my tragic divorce, my suicide attempts, my heavy drinking, or my relations with various women, but these are subjects that may be touched upon. No, this story is about my life, beautifully broken.
Her name was Moon, not her birth name of course, but it suited her. She was a pale beautifully violent thing, with one of the most mystically arcane smiles I've ever seen. The day I walked into her life is a blur, a motionless painting suddenly set in motion. In essence, she was Van Gogh's “Stary Night” in contrast to my worlds dull gray pallet.
“So what is it that you wanted to tell me?” Her dark hair fell in front of her left eye, letting me know that I was in trouble already.
“Only that you should choose me,” I said smiling. “That I am worth choosing.”
“I've been telling you that all along”
“Maybe I've started believing it,” I leaned in and gave her a hard won kiss on the most velveteen lips I have ever felt pressed against mine. “I think I'm worth a hard decision or two.”
She blushed slightly and turned away, smiling a guilty smile.
“You know I am with Jace.... He means so much to me Nate”
I sighed. I felt a crack in my already cracked world. I knew she wouldn't choose me, and a part of me had already accepted that, but my mind, heart, and body all wanted her in a way that made my bones ache, and my lips drip with poetry.
“A small part of me loves you....and a part of me....a large part, loves him, and I shouldn't tell you that... I'm not a bad person... and I know this is only going to hurt you,” a tear formed in the corner of her burning perfect brown eye, and I knew the feeling of regret and despair she must be feeling. I didn't want to tell her, but I knew she needed to hear it.
“Moon, I love you, I never thought I would love another woman after what happened, and I realize that you aren't mine. I wish you were. With all that I am I wish you were, but you aren't love,” I tried to hold back the sincerity of my confession. I tried not to hurt her heart. But I couldn't. My heart was screaming, PICK ME! CHOOSE ME! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LOVE ME! But I knew she wouldn't, my words meant the world to her, she wanted me there to dry her tears, and to be her friend and more when she wanted, but my heart wasn't something she needed.
“I can't leave him”
“I know love, I know”