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LITTLESHAVER — Questions That Must B Answered
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Published: 2010-08-15 01:37:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 576; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Questions That Must Be Answered!By Professor Heinrich Hofnagel, University of Bratkartoeffel
I. If the world is round, why is any area measured upon its surface measured in "square feet, square yards, square meters, square miles, etc?"
II. How can anything measured in cubic feet fit into a cylindrical container or a sphere?
III. Why do so many people take gravity so lightly?
IV. How is the "Speed of Sound" affected if the person talks slowly?
V. Why would anyone who believes in the integrity of the human body want to move their bowels…anywhere?
VI. Why does food smell so good going in and so bad coming out?
VII. Who started the Human Race and, according to Las Vegas odds makers, who is favored to win it?
VIII. If there is a Man In The Moon, is there also a Woman In The Moon?
IX. Are there Extraterrestrials and just how many extra are there?
X. How did the people of Poland get to be the first on top and bottom of the earth?
XI. What did God do when he found out that Moses had a headache?
XII. If the sun sets in the west in the Pacific Ocean, does it come up wet in Japan?
If you ask in your comments I will attempt to answer them in a way that will open your eyes and put a smile on an upper orifice.
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Comments: 34
Miso sorry... Information tempura not avairabre...
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explain "II. How can anything measured in cubic feet fit into a cylindrical container or a sphere?"
Actually I want an explanation for all of them!
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First of all, they cheat! A lot of hypnosis is used. Then they use big machines and force them in till there is no air left for them to breathe. And think about those feet that are oblong and are forced into cubic shoes! How cruel! The whole thing makes me queasy!
Moses had a headache so God sent him down with two tablets.
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two tablets,
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"Friends, do you suffer from burning bush? Are you being plagued by innumerable pestilence and vermin? Art thou constipated and want to be let go? Well just chariot on down to Promised Land Pharmacy and Chemists. Open for all eternity."
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so concerning question 9,I see that one could receive two answer's one for extra terrestrials (US) or one for extraterrestrials (THEM)anyway I'm digressing so just how many extra are there Master? this lowly student petitions your all knowing cerebral cortex!!!!
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It all deep ends on how you look at it. If they have cubic feet, they are extraterrestrials. If they have oblong feet with cylindrical toes, they are freaks and considered extraodinary. If they think too deeply on these questions, they are noodges and are certainly extra in my pamphlet.
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You can say that again!
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Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why is what doctors do called 'practice'?
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So true, like I asked my psych: "How long have you been practicing?" and he said "I don't practice. I'm very good at it."
Curious about my questions? I'll give you a free answer!
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LOL.
I think my favorite was the one about Poland. I may have mentioned that I am mostly Polish. And they don't have ice in Poland, you know, because the guy who had the recipe left the country.
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ROR! Yeah and he went north and his twin brother went south. Didn't you ever hear of the North Pole and South Pole? Those people froze a long time ago!
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AHA!!!! I think we have solved an ancient mystery!
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Awesome Sauce! He probably had a white beard, a weird red outfit, and hung around a bunch of Little People (tm).
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Had a complex! Couldn't play with those his own size.
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Oh! I have one more question: What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
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Then I'll put my backside in and put my backside out, my backside in and shake it all about. I can always turn the other cheek... For color balance...
(I'm telling you, "looks" are all okay, but brains like yours are too rare.)
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Aww, thank you for that!
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If the sun sets in the west in the Pacific Ocean, does it come up wet in Japan?
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Ah, Grasshopper, it actually comes up before Japan where it has a chance to towel off! But this is related to the Man in the Moon question, believe it or not!
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So weird... and don't call me grasshopper oh wise one. I'm a skylark
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Ah, so. A remarkable metamorphosis.
Wierd is normal and normal is wierd. Question all, trust none. As my Great Uncle Rumplestiltdermis advised me when I was a yute. "If you want to wake up with a smile on your face in the morning, go to sleep with a hanger in your mouth the night before!" And it works!
Welcome to dA! You write? I would love to read your creations!
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Heh. Thanks. I've done more work than I've uploaded, but I'm a tad lazy so none of it is known to public... i don't see it as being special, just the imagination of freshman in high school...
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I have the same imagination. Only problem is I'm a senior...
Citizen.
Maturity is so overrated!
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Ha! Well, we can't always be the perfect person can we?
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Pls check out my devs, especially "Groinocology 101" and the ones dealing with history. Perfect for HS. Good luck. If you need material for school, I'd be happy to help. Mike
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