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LostPyroKitten — Blocking Tomorrow's View
Published: 2003-11-25 21:42:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 112; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description
Something's blocking tomorrow's view,Something stopping me from doing what I have to do.
Images of him smiling carelessly,
Making me melt away helplessly.
I have to see,
Something to prove he really didn't love me.
I just dropped by his house to claim my pride,
Just to see if I could ask why he lied.
Ask him "Did you really really care?
Did you really think this was fair?"
But my questions seem to fade from my mind.
It must be true that love is blind.
If he asked me would I go back?
Why didn't he want me the first time around, what did I lack?
If I tried harder could he give me another chance?
Could I still work harder knowing he didn't think me worth a glance?
Am I worth more then this?
What point did I miss?
I could try and move on again I guess,
I know I'd still end up pitiful mess.
Maybe one day I'll ask him "Why?"
But all I can do now is lay down and cry.
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Comments: 11
ok awesome poem. not meaning to offend you but you could probably make it even better than it already is if you altered the syllable count in some of the lines. i'm really not trying to be evil and if you think i am, that's fine and i am really sorry.
i think it is a really good poem and there are some very powerful lines and couplets.
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lol ^-^ No yee not mean!!!! It's sort of an old poem and I don't like my older poetry much.. let alone any of it but I don't like to change my poetry after I write it because.. I have this weird idea that my poems are like people.. I got the idea when my friend kept taking my poem endings and beginnings and typing them into there own poems and telling me AFTER!!! They are a very good friend of mine but that's when I finally realized.. poems are like people. If u take the beginning of a poem and put it on a different poem it's like ripping off a persons arm and sewing it onto a different person who may not even NEED another arm. Who want's a third arm that sometimes doesn't even work and if it does you really take away from the meaning or usefulness of the other two arms..? It's unfair to the other arms!... Me very creepy.. Did u get what I said..? 
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i know exactly what u mean. would u mind if i just had a go at altering some of the lines? i won't even show u if u don't want me to?
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You can if u like.. I would like to see them though. Are you going to completely change it, rewrite the poem, or something else? I just.. don't like it when people take my poems
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i was just gonna alter the syllable count in a couple of the lines. to try to make it flow a little more. i am not gonna submit it on da as my own. i just want to see if i can help a little. just tell me if u don't want me to, i wouldn't want you to feel i was stealing ur ideas.
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lol
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that's fine. thanx for telling me. i wouldn't want to make u mad at me. so i'm glad u told me. ur poems are seriously great though. i'm addicted and reading them all now. could take me a while.
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lolz.. uh oh? *smiles cheesily* Thank ya.. *looks at your icon* HOW THE HELL DID U MAKE THAT?! *looks at it jealously* . . . .
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This is the first poem of yours I've read... All I can say is "Uh oh. I think I know why you liked that one poem you commented on." Hehe. I'm going to read more now
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